Defenceless

A few days ago I received an email update from the Burma Campaign as follows:

Dear friend

We are deeply worried by the news that Aung San Suu Kyi is to face trial on Monday. Aung San Suu Kyi was arrested yesterday and is now being held in Insein Prison, a prison notorious for its terrible conditions and horrific treatment of prisoners. Political prisoners in Burma are routinely subjected to torture and often denied medical treatment. We are very concerned for Aung San Suu Kyi’s health in these conditions, particularly as she was seriously ill last week, but denied medical care by the regime.

Aung San Suu Kyi will face trial for supposedly violating the terms of her house arrest, after an American man swam uninvited to her house and refused to leave. She faces a prison sentence of between three and five years.

Now more than ever Aung San Suu Kyi needs our help. Over the past 24 hours politicians, and celebrities across the world have demanded her release. Over 8,000 of our supporters have emailed UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and ASEAN leaders calling for immediate action to secure the release of Aung San Suu Kyi.

TWO ACTIONS FOR AUNG SAN SUU KYI

DEMONSTRATE

On Monday 18th May, there will be a global day of action for Aung San Suu Kyi. We will hold a demonstration between 12 and 1pm in front of the Burmese Embassy in London to demand the release of Aung San Suu Kyi and all of Burma’s political prisoners. Please come and show your support. Find out more here. If you are not in the UK, contact your local Burma Campaign here. (Just don't berate the poor Bobbies there to keep the peace - some of us do support the cause ~ ed.)

SUPPORT OUR WORK

If you can’t join the demonstration, then please help us at this crucial time by making a donation. Supporting us is one of the most effective ways of supporting the struggle to free Burma. You can donate online here.

Aung San Suu Kyi has been detained for more than 13 years just for peacefully calling for freedom and democracy. She urgently needs our help or she faces spending the rest of her life in prison.

Please make a donation today to support our important work.
Thank you for your continued support.

Anna Roberts
Director
Burma Campaign UK

Today, apparently an undercover BBC correspondent in Myanmar has reported that, "People here are very angry."

Angry?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

To be serious for a moment

Occasionally I post about matters relating to autism.

Occasionally I come across a genuinely well written, sober, thought provoking article.

This article speaks for itself, which is more than can be said for Sky.

For more on this read here.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Jox Vox - Vol. 2

My winter festival celebrations start.... now!

Thanks to UHDD for the pic by the way. I wonder if this place would have looked the same?

Since Xmas Eve I have been carrying out duties as what might be described as a Custody Corporal and there has been one common theme transcending most of the 'customers', a theme it will take you hopefully less than a goldfish's memory span to deduce, but here's a clue....

As can be surmised from the www address of my site, I like my whisky and beer, but for some unknown reason, I do not end up fighting, spitting, caterwauling etc. after a few refreshments. It is my opinion that excess drink can, I say CAN, bring out the worst in folk, but I firmly believe the spark of evil must already be there to be lit, burst into flame and envelop all around in its incandescence.

I have been known to 'binge' drink, but somehow I always make it home safely and don't end up squaring up to folk or thrashing her that has to be obeyed on my return home.

It seems some folk are just disposed to violence and anti-social behaviour and drink is not an excuse for their behaviour, merely a catalyst.

This hogmanay our SMT described the city centre celebrations as a success with few arrests. They are right. The absolute vast majority of the considerable throngs enjoyed themselves without incident. It was the few that failed to heed the equally considerable tolerance of my colleagues, with warnings about extended stays in the suites we provide abounding given that our Sheriffs like their time off (although to be fair the Courts sat last Saturday and will sit tomorrow), that passed through my door mostly, as I said before, horizontally. They were quite simply the dregs. How often and how simply do the Polis have to explain to these vacuous eejits how to be civilised?

I can assure the SMT that down in my little world it was not quiet, but I can accept, having seen the state of the folk in the custody suite that these were the folk that no-one can mitigate against.

DRINK DRIVING?

Added to those were the other clowns (or I could put it more succinctly - potential killers) who, despite warning after warning and campaign after campaign, arrived after blowing positive roadside breathtests. I have no sympathy for them either and I hope their bans are extended and fines increased to show how ignorant and inconsiderate they are particularly at this time of year.

Anyhoo, must stop moaning.

Back to the news from Alba.

Down in the Central Belt there's folk who obviously haven't been to Torry.

In the wonderful world of disputes over nothing, this one takes 2008's special prize. At least his sentence was long enough so that he didn't 'get off' with community service.

Here's a festive turn suited to the Special Branch.

If you ever visit the Gordon Highlander's Museum be sure to give the cafe staff a nice tip. That made me proud of my country folk.

This didn't ... In the Polis we are regularly faced with violence. Unwarranted as it is, we at least have some protection. These folk don't and the level of violence shown to them is a disgrace.

There has to be one festive entry regarding political correctness gone mad and this is it.

Having trawled the news for snippets for you to savour, it's back to drink again! I'm told it's a national pastime.

Drunk driver or driven to drink?

Polis spoilsports?

I posted about this and this a while back and I am delighted with the common sense result. However, there may be problems with other names that have been suggested for some of Scotland's brews.

Mind you there's folk down south who don't even need a drink to make a tit of themselves.

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~ Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Slainte.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Jox Vox - Vol. 1

You might have noticed from my sidebar that due to the apparent demise of fellow Polis bloggers, I appear to be the only Polisperson posting from north of the border.

I feel it incumbent upon me then to keep everybody up to date with the weird and wonderful happenings, Polis related or otherwise, up in the frozen wastelands of God's own country.

Following on from what might be considered the pilot post, I have decided to post regularly on such matters and I have these following offerings for you.

BBC NEWS | Scotland | North East/N Isles | Pub-goers to be tested for drugs

Random drug testing attacked - Press & Journal

Well at least it's a better plan than this or this.

Maybe Mr Rumbles should have a peek at this before he opens his mouth and puts his foot in it.

Twining will like this snippet.

Up here in Draconia we still occasionally persecute, sorry prosecute, very wee weans. But just to level the playing field, I believe adults will now have to suffer like the little children. It's significant that once the pain is to be meted out on adults, a furore starts. I did warn you. A crafty US judge has taken this principle even further.

We have just celebrated St Andrew's Day and Gadget will be interested to note this ovine method of marking the occasion.

You can read this snippet and make your own mind up. I have. Get off your behind, quine.

A while back I bleetered on about prostitution. I think that the Polis are going to say to the Law Makers, "We told you so."

By far and away my favourite snippet recently has to be the Spiderpig debacle. Brilliant.

As regular visitors will know, I have a passion for whisky (in moderation of course) and our wonderful Chancellor and his boss, despite being Scots, seem determined to destroy the industry and dent my pocket. I have four related offerings to mull over whilst you sip (very slowly) your dram.

Outrage at tax raid on the whisky industry - Press & Journal

Excise duty increase leaves a bitter taste - Press & Journal

BBC NEWS | Scotland | 'Whisky sour' claim after Budget

BBC NEWS | Scotland | Whisky duty rise 'to be revised'

I cannot leave you without commenting on what's happening down south. The new Government inspired (tongue firmly in cheek) Police Pledges leave me awestruck and this article's heading sums it up;

Police will respond quicker to burglary victims if they are 'upset' - Telegraph

I have yet to entertain a genuine complaint of housebreaking from a cheerful householder! I'll let Jacquie Spliff know when I do.

Secondly, I note there's been a bit of a stooshie over some CCTV footage again. Don't mess with me has posted the most illuminating take on this in my view. I also direct you to a previous post on the Perils of CCTV from my good self.

Finally, Jox Vox rule.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Hundred Acre Hood and other tales

A wee round-up of happenings north of Watford Gap.

Lost and Found.

A Toy Town™ Polis spokestoon commented, "We are glad to see the wee bear back with Piglet, Eeyore and the gang. Winnie has a serious pot habit (honey that is- ed.) and he was persuaded by some clever but unscrupulous types to venture into Toy Town™ to source his stash. Fortunately, we combed the city and in the bees nest that is Hundred Acre Hood, during a co-ordinated intelligence-led sting operation our colleagues traced Winnie. Toy Town™ Polis would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that it will not tolerate the kidnapping of toons."

PC Milne (no relative) added, "I'm glad he didn't come to a sticky end."

The local paper reported that, "After a hive of activity in the north of the city, Pooh was rescued."

Jacquelyn Liddell, Managing Director of Storybook Glen, originally told BBC Scotland when Winnie was reported missing that: "It's shocking. I just wish parents would see where their children are at night."

Wise Owl responded last night by stating, "Sometimes people jump to conclusions."

Eeyore, never one to be serious, said, "Here's some more Poo."

When asked to comment, Piglet merely said, "Oh, d-d-d-dear."

Bad day at the Office - Part 1

Some days you just wish you'd been elsewhere. Horrendously bad luck all round, for the bereaved, the other car driver and the poor Polis.

Bad day at the Office - Part 2

Every custody officer's and force's nightmare, but whatever the reason it's even more of a nightmare for the relatives. However, after the loon's last two exploits, I do hope he'd asked for forgiveness for his sins before his untimely death.

Note to Northern Constabulary - I'd start crossing your collective toes if I were you.

What a silly Hunt

Well clearly the digit curling up North isn't working. Read the article's comments to get the full flavour of the 'story'.

Judge Dredd

I have to admit I had to read this article twice. Well that's because the first time I fell off my chair in shock. Without wishing to add my support so freely to the vigilante system in Prison, it should at least make those who commit the more dastardly of crimes think twice, because despite it all there is still a moral code amongst some of the pros amongst the cons!

That's enough jox vox for now.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Meanwhile across the Pond

.... and you thought it was just a British disease.

It seems the Polis worldwide are total meanies.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

I refuse to wear a hoodie

I'm feeling lazy today.

I think my brain has been drained what with all that ramming I've had to do, so I thought I'd just point you in the direction of a few snippets that came to my attention.

First and foremost, let's get to the major headline today......

Postman Pat is now a toonser.

Add this to the nonsense I previously alluded to and I fear for the countryside and all our cherished memories. As stated, I will not be modernising any day soon. No hoodies for me, innit.

What has been genuinely worrying me lately has been the way the media describes 'life sentences'. In some cases this only means a life time order.

In two recent cases, life actually meant 9 years in one sentencing and then 18 months (and with backdating!) in the other. It is only if the scoundrels don't rehabilitate that the life bit kicks in. In the case of the former I'd suggest he's already shown his inability to reform on more than one occasion.

Incidentally, is it just me that finds it bizarre that a prison inmate was allowed out on day release to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I also wonder where there might be room for the blighters to be banged up.

Sticking with criminals, an article directed to me by DBA Dude struck me as being a little non-diverse in suggesting that the average scrote has a poor diet based on fast foods. As Baldrick would say, "I have a cunning plan - feed all custodies Double Whoppers and Big Macs. What's that you say ... we already do?"

There's been some good news. With Joanna Yumley at the helm, they couldn't fail.

Some news even gladdens the heart.

Two final snippets. One from the land of make believe and the other unbelievable.

I'm knackered. Off for a lie down.......but in the bare spedroom!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Get out of jail free

You may have seen this cartoon before, but how long will it be before it's true, now that the jails are full.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

'Lassie' Dies

Sad news from Toy Town™ folks.

I posted about Senga's (that's Agnes for our non-Scots) heroics a while back which were highlighted in court by the accused's brief.

I like dogs, even landsharks, and this is a wee tragedy. It is also a sickener for Senga's handler and family as the hounds live with handlers these days and her handler will now have to start from scratch with a new dug.

But, in typical black Polis humour, here's something canine related that made me chuckle.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

PUNishment

Check out this Judge's conclusion to a recent case here.

Sometimes our Judiciary get right to the point and arrow in precisely on the target.

With such accurate wit perhaps the Sheriff should consider a stint at Bow Street.

Bullseye!

I'll get my hiviz......

Listening to: Sparks - Fletcher Honorama
via FoxyTunes

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

An evil combination

Local Holiday weekends, full moons and lateshifts - that's what constitutes a cocktail of dread.

Well, I felt the full force of its hangover, believe me.

Working Time Directives were well and truly required to keep this body from nodding (sic) off last night (and morning) in particular.

Add that to an apparent lack of Plods and it was all hands to the deck. Does anyone actually PLAN for these situations, or do they just sneak up on them?

However, there were two bright moments to keep me smiling.

Firstly, our 'star' witness at a court case I had last week was being grilled by the defence about a stabbing and the teenage loon was asked, somewhat sarcastically by the brief, if he had any medical qualifications. After a short pause the loon replies, "Aye min, I've got ADHD."

Just as well I didn't have this loon along for corroboration, otherwise we'd have been totally gubbered.  Is it any wonder there's a sad lack of convictions?

Secondly, I had cause to administer a very gentle (honest) single palm fend off with my weak arm to the upper torso (or chest for the MCP's amongst you) of a member of the fairer sex who was trying to extricate a ne'er do well from our grasps. She teetered backwards somewhat drunkenly in her high heels on the cobbles and fell rather unceremoniously on her gluteus maximus. Whinging to a colleague of mine, she stated; "Look, I dinna mind be'en knocked doon, but I've pished masel." Class!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Poor weans

Kids are top billing in the news of late. First off there is the completely loopy suggestion from Lord Goldsmith, which will go down really well in Nationalist sectors of the UK. Some folk see it as a good idea. I'm not convinced. Perhaps the kids in Glasgow could all assemble at Celtic Park to take their oath!

Then there's the poor kids being stressed out by homework. Self-discipline anyone?

And finally, I hear the CPS in England & Wales are admitting their failures. Perhaps they should get hold of this whizzkid.

But rest assured me and my mates have already sworn our allegiance to Queen Elizabeth and here's the proof...










© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Taking the St. Michael

Maybe this Gstaad regular should read John Steinbeck's novel to really understand 'deep depression.'

Bananas!

Stop Press: Update

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Fàilte gu Alba

Far be it from me to suggest that there has been a bit of plagiarism over at Follyrood and the STB, but the new 'Corporate' banner for the bestest wee nation on planet earth does seem to be a bit familiar!

It certainly beats the Canadians' efforts vis-a-vis "Come see our beavers."

Meanwhile up here in Welcome to Toy Town™ land, the locals are in a huff over monoglot bendy-buses. Mind you, there is a need to be careful about things that you put on the backs of buses. We wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of the law now would we?

On another tack, I have to say I'm humbled to be the recipient of a Twining Oscar.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Taken to the Cleaners - Not.

Now wouldn't it be incredible if we had judges making decisions like this one over on this side of the pond?

I mean we trust our Judges to make correct decisions don't we?

Otherwise we'd expect them to lose their positions wouldn't we?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

All Along the Watchtower ....

.... there are a lot of damaged weans. Kingdom Hell that's what I'd call it.

Michael Porter commits 24 sex abuses on kids over a sustained period of fourteen years and 'gets off' with a 3 year community rehabilitation order, because he's a changed man. Certainly changed 13 unlucky kids' lives. Kids aren't having a good time of it lately and what signal does this give out?

Most damning was his own sister's verdict. Shame she wasn't on the bench.

Personally, I reckon he should have been locked up till he walks with the aid of zimmer, man!

This has been some week for daft judicial decision making.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

At last....

I posted some time ago about the poor prisoner embarrassed by the SPS telephone system message identifying his calls as emanating from pokey and how he'd managed to get Legal Aid to fund a court case on the grounds of infringement of his human rights.

Well at long last the daft decision has been overturned.

Can we hope for more examples of common sense?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

That 'D' word.

Once upon a time it used to be the 'Q' word that polismen and wimmen were feart o'. These days it is the 'D' word.

'D' for Domestics. Don't get me wrong, the new zero tolerance stance has my general approval, despite the fact that most of us Plods hate all the associated forms required for even the smallest of invariably alcohol fuelled bickers between consenting adults.

However, I recognise that for anyone to be brave enough to call the Polis when things go wrong in a partnership, there must have been either a bleeding (sic) big stooshie or a considerable history of violence, oppression or sharp tongued abuse.

Given all that, it is with some disquiet that I refer to a report in the Daily Mail. Please read it - it is unbelievable how blase the court appears to be.

He looks like a decent enough spud in the photo, well educated etc., but clearly he is a mysoginous muppet.

Bizarrely, this overpaid oaf was only fined 2 grand with the decision that;

He was spared even a community punishment because the judge ruled that "special circumstances" suggested he was unlikely to re-offend and his job meant he was too "busy" to find the time to complete any order.

I am going to have to agree with Judith Stephenson, of Women's Aid, when she said:

"This case is extremely worrying. It takes an enormous amount of courage for a woman (or man - ed.) to go to court and this sentence may deter other women (men - ed.) from doing so."

I think the victim has a justified Axe to grind and he needs the chop!

Oh, and by the way, I ain't even going to mention the 'R' word! Damn, I think I just did.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

My God an iPod

....... or Jukebox Jury?

I couldn't quite decide which byline to use, but either way, it just goes to show how far these little 'toys' have permeated all areas of society.

I wager that this errant young lassie will come to realise just how fundamental Jury Service is as part of a British Citizen's duty.

However, I wonder how much the apparent religious affiliation of the perpetrator had to do with the media interest in this incident. If it had been a chavette in a hoodie would it be so news worthy? Amusing yes, but I cannot help but think that there is an underlying agenda in the reporting.

I rather suspect her fascination with technology and rock'n'roll might not go down so well with her own religion's elders, but it is not as if I haven't suffered the onslaught of modern technology coupled with ancient belief systems, such as when living in an Islamic country I was woken at 5am by Muezzins calling the faithful to prayer from minarets bedecked with multiwatt amplified speakers that wouldn't have looked out of place at Glastonbury. Give me a merry bunch of campanologists any day!

Anyway, help is at hand for the poor wee lassie.

Nevertheless, when the sentencing time comes round I can almost hear the Judge uttering those immortal words of Brummie Janice Nicholls from the contemporary programme 'Spin a Disc', "I'll give it five."

p.s.


Those clever 'Jobbers' have also come up with the latest gizmo for British Airways' check-in staff.



© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Total embarrassment

I posted previously about the gravy train that is calling regularly at your local HMP. Well, as reported in the Scotsman, the Justiciary have had to cave in to legislation made elsewhere to protect human rights, but whose rights are really protected here?

Can we call this victim orientated?

Ken MacAskill, the SNP's justice spokesman, said: "This is outrageous. People who breach the law must pay the price. Taxpayers' money is being used to fund these legal aid cases, money which could be going to help vulnerable people in need of legal representation. A line needs to be drawn now." Spot on.

I think the Convention on Human Rights needs re-examined and common sense applied. I like to dream occasionally!

I, me, myself, one, will have to PAY this criminal money out of my pocket and it makes me choke.