Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Half Time Scores

Well there's only one game really and it's:

Drogba 1 - Benitez 0

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Gotta Go

Apparently there's a footie game on Sky I need to watch. My fingernails await my teeth.

.... and well done United.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, April 26, 2008


I don't often go for the tagging or Meme thing, but what the heck. Mind you the last time I got accused of being a perv!

I have been tagged by RT over the pond so here goes.

Here are the rules if you decide to play along:

1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I'm going to follow RT's lead re categories, but I believe the 7 facts are open ended.

Stuff about me:

1. My first childhood pet was red setter x we named Mandy, who kind of came with the house we lived in whilst the old man was stationed in Malaysia. She was a stray, probably left by the previous owners, mangy, flea ridden and thin as a rake. You can see that changed a bit with some TLC. Sadly, when I was 13, we had to leave her over there to come back to chilly old Blighty. This time though we made sure she went to another RAF family to be loved as much as we did.

2. My first car was a white Mini I 'shared' with my little brother. He trashed it rallying it about Yorkshire when he was a student at Sheffield Uni. I, like RT, also had a VW Rabbit, only over here we call them a Golf. It was blue and bought in Germany (I got around!) Oh, and yeah, ickle bruvver trashed it as well!

3. Today, I got one of the most amazing emails I have ever had which proved the power of blogging. I will be revealing all once the sender gives me permission to publish it. I will link it here when she does. It will also give me an excuse to rabbit (nice link eh?) on about Chelsea FC again, not that I need an excuse.

4. I suffer from Acrophobia. So did my mother and her two sisters.

5. One of my jobs was as a market researcher for the Scottish Office on a national survey about Gaelic. I can now proudly say I have visited every Outer Hebridean island and a few other places in Scotland I wouldn't have thought of going to viz East Kilbride and Kirkcaldy!

6. I used to be a member of a civilian rifle club. Funnily enough, I am happy that I am unarmed as a Policeman. A proud British tradition!

7. I hate wearing jewellery or watches. The wedding ring is my only permanent concession and watches are only for work so I can tell when it's time to go home!

I'm tagging:

Totally UnPC - Police Sergeant and Mank presently drowning his sorrows.
Mousie - Casualty (ER) lassie
MIsssy - The Flying Martini
Dickiebo - Very old ex Plod
DBA Dude - Meantime drinking a lot of coffee
Uphilldowndale - I have mountains, she has hills.
AnneDroid - This lady has a vocation to truly be proud of.

Should be an eclectic mix.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Balls Up

I'm posting this article in full and directly. All I will say is that I am amazed the Polis haven't been blamed for not getting there quicker either.

A grieving mum sobbed as she heard how a paramedic was not allowed to treat her son as he bled to death.

Stab victim Stuart Baillie, 19, lay dying in the street after being knifed in the neck.

Paramedic Mairi Lennon was on the scene within minutes, but was banned from leaving her rapid-response vehicle as she was the only medic at the scene.

Yesterday's Daily Record exclusively revealed the scandal as unions warned of the dangers of replacing up to 70 ambulances with the one-person cars.

Stuart's mum Christine Halley said yesterday: "My boy might have been saved - we'll never know.
If a medically trained person is on the scene and there is someone bleeding to death, treatment has to be carried out. To suggest otherwise is madness. A rule which prevents a paramedic leaving their vehicle is unbelievable. It's unacceptable and has to be changed. It won't bring my son back, but it might prevent this sort of thing happening again."

Mairi had to watch for 13 minutes as Stuart's life slipped away in a street in Easterhouse.

Her terms of employment and an order from HQ banned her from getting out of her car at a violent incident without back-up. She had to wait for a two-man ambulance.

Christine, 40, of Ballieston, Glasgow, said: "The idea of a trained medical person sitting in a car looking on as my son lay in the street is too much to bear.
Stuart was attacked at about 12.15am. He died at the scene but was not pronounced dead until 5.30am. We'll never know what night have happened if he'd been treated straight away."

Christine did not even know a rapid-response paramedic had been called on the night her son died until the Record told her.
Sitting with son Scott and daughter Roxanne, she broke down in tears as she said: "I can't believe this - I'm struggling to even take this in."

Scaffolder Stuart had three sisters and two brothers. Roxanne, 17, said: "We can't understand the point of a paramedic being there and not being able to treat someone. Why send the paramedic in the first place?"

The Record told how paramedic Mairi, 35, would have lost her job if she had followed her instincts and helped Stuart.
She is convinced she could have saved his life and is off work with post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of the incident.

Unions highlighted the case as proof the Scottish Ambulance Service's shock plan to axe a chunk of the country's 435 ambulances could be deadly. The idea has enraged politicians, GPs and patient watchdogs.

Ian Lowrie, 19, was caged for 11 years last month for the culpable homicide of Stuart last August. A cabbie heard the thug on his mobile phone telling a pal: "I plunged the b******. I put it right through him." Gang member Lowrie was charged with murder, but admitted the reduced charge of culpable homicide. The court heard Stuart and a pal had rowed with Lowrie and one of his mates and Lowrie was hit with a bottle. He returned with a knife and stabbed Stuart repeatedly.

Christine said: "We've been let down badly by the justice system - but now this.
The police told me it was premeditated murder, as the killer fought with Stuart, went into a house to fetch a knife and came out and stabbed my son in the neck. How is that culpable homicide and not murder? A deal was done and it stinks. The first I knew about it was when the prosecution told me a deal had been done. I wasn't consulted - I was told. The final insult was when Stuart's killer winked at me in court. The experience has been a nightmare and to hear a paramedic could have had a chance at saving Stuart just made it worse."

The local rag had this telling quote;

Mr Baillie’s mother Christine said she blamed NHS cutbacks. She said: “I am just shattered, totally and utterly shattered. It is not right, it is not human, it doesn’t seem right at all. She (the Paramedic) sat there and listened to his screams. She said something like that would haunt her forever.”

Over to all you loons and quines to comment on this quandary.

Update: I am indebted to Captain America over at First In for this link to an equally thought provoking news report video from Philly.

OK folks, I've started a veritable fire-storm and here's even more.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Too soon

Only 58.

Thought are with Lamps Jnr & Snr.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Latest Sports News

Sources have advised Toy Town™ Times that John Arne Riise has been arrested.

Apparently he was caught driving the wrong way down the Motorway.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Following a recent welcome plug over at Area Search No Trace, I have to point out on behalf of certain residents of Toy Town, that it is a categorical lie that we blog about cats incessantly.

However, after looking at Toy Town's stats, I find that the top Google search referrer is the string "pink cat". Second is "old people." Make of that what you will.

Anyhow, back to topic. Personally, this is more my view.....

Miss Pink Cat will not be amused.

By the way, Noddy asks me to tell you these are the newish sites he's keeking at these days.


Met County Mounty
Life on Mars
Mad Max
Bobby Dazzler


Plastic Fuzz
SAS Lassie
Siren Voices


Pink Quine

Whilst I'm at it Mr Plod asks if, in a public service sort of way, I could direct folk to this site.


© Bumpy Dog

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, April 21, 2008

An evil combination

Local Holiday weekends, full moons and lateshifts - that's what constitutes a cocktail of dread.

Well, I felt the full force of its hangover, believe me.

Working Time Directives were well and truly required to keep this body from nodding (sic) off last night (and morning) in particular.

Add that to an apparent
lack of Plods and it was all hands to the deck. Does anyone actually PLAN for these situations, or do they just sneak up on them?

However, there were two bright moments to keep me smiling.

Firstly, our 'star' witness at a court case I had last week was being grilled by the defence about a stabbing and the teenage loon was asked, somewhat sarcastically by the brief, if he had any medical qualifications. After a short pause the loon replies, "Aye min, I've got

Just as well I didn't have
this loon along for corroboration, otherwise we'd have been totally gubbered.  Is it any wonder there's a sad lack of convictions?

Secondly, I had cause to administer a very gentle (honest) single palm fend off with my weak arm to the upper torso (or chest for the MCP's amongst you) of a member of the fairer sex who was trying to extricate a ne'er do well from our grasps. She teetered backwards
somewhat drunkenly in her high heels on the cobbles and fell rather unceremoniously on her gluteus maximus. Whinging to a colleague of mine, she stated; "Look, I dinna mind be'en knocked doon, but I've pished masel." Class!

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Lost in Translation - innit?


Jist every so aften I scribble doon a few lines in the Doric. 'At' s fit Toytooners spik, min.

It seems some folk cannae get a grip o' fit a' these new folk fae the continent are yappin on aboot.

Well, it seems that even the natives fae the southside of the Smoke cannae get themselves understood either.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

57 varieties of Nannying

You know that old chestnut that if you ban something, you just make it more attractive.

Well it's time to buy shares in Heinz and any other squidgy sauce products.

Mind you, I have mentioned the lethal effects of eggs before and whatever happened to good old fashioned shaving foam?

Whatever will be next on the banned list?

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


Nintendo News - BBC iPlayer to be made available on the Wii.

Great - you'll be able to keep up to date with items like this, which I (and others) previously posted about, in between manically manoeuvring Mario.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times


Well it looks like it will be third time lucky for the Blues after last night's result.

Speculation is rife as to the sort of headwear Cech will be wearing should he be fit for the ties against Liverpool.

Chelski players do have a fair stock of suitable items.

In my days as a Caman wielding nutter such attire would have been considered a wee bittie saft. As the lyrics in the video below state;

We don't play for fame,
We don't play for cash.
We just play for glory,
And the clash of the ash.

p.s. Oh, Bollox!

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, April 05, 2008

I cannae help masel...

... I just hae tae dae it, min.


Aye noo, ye ken a' yon folk doon in Follyrood fa are iywiz on aboot new ideas, the latest een being takkin the age of imbibing up tae 21, weel the Daily Mash has a gae guid tak on it.

I hae telt yi afore that een aff the wrist can be a good alternative.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, April 04, 2008

Shocking News

In the wake of my recent blurb about the volume of assaults on the Polis, the SPF have come up with this blinder. Why do we have to have half measures?

I'm all in favour of giving us the tools to protect ourselves, but what is the use of tasers being
in the car when you need them on your person. I can picture the scene when you have to ask the axe wielding nutter to kindly hang on a wee minute whilst we go and get our prongs. Could you imagine if they asked us to do that with our CS or batons?

I can't see the foot patrols (sorry too many sherries, I'm beginning to hallucinate) being happy about their protection level being second class.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Road Hogs

For older Toy Town based readers who remember Lawson's piggie lorries, this is not something you see that often these days.....

"It was a terrible scene, Pigs everywhere."

Captions welcome.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Assaulting the Polis

Just a quickie before bedtime.

Watch it before the Beeb remove it from their playlist.

Thanks to Plastic Fuzz for the linky. See, PCSOs can be useful!

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Searching for filth

Oh go on yersel, try a search at Woolies for 'duster'.

Methinks they need to clean up their search engine!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

No nuts to play with

There is much in the news today, but surely this report should take the front page.

Modern day weans probably don't get to partake in this ancient sport any more due to the H&S crowd or some PC nonsense about banning armed combat at skools, but I remember well all the tricks of the trade, like soaking my nuts in vinegar to get that extra edge.

I'm glad to see some skools are still at it - so to speak.

Caution - there are pictures of kids at the last link, but their identities have been obscured. That's nice.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Pondering, Police and Pandas

I'm in plagiarist mode tonight, so I thought I'd bring your attention to this soon to be top seller at Waterstones et al. Thanks to Dickiebo for bringing it to my attention.

Oh, and the photo - that's from a member of the public across the pond.

There is a tenuous link between the Polis and Pandas.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wrong Thong Doo

Men should not wear thongs - Discuss.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Stationary Traveller

Certain HMG Ministers do not like being cheek by Jowell with the prols.

What is it about champagne socialists that they want us all to live in harmony just as long as certain things are NIMBY?

Mind you, even poor old Basil Brush can make a faux pas when it comes to our Romany friends.

It's just as well then that my mob stick clear of such evil racists.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times