Posts

Posts

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

That Wenus Voman


Fit am I tae dae?

She fit haes tae be obeyed has bin spikkin in tongues recently fit I dinna unnerstan.


Noo, usually it's affa difficult to mak oot fit she's bleetering aboot, partly due tae the fact she's a quine onywiy, bit add on her Invernesian twang and I'm dumfoonert maist o' the time.


Aye, I ken a sair fecht, bit listen up it gets wirser.

She's takken to spikkin in Dyslexic.


I caim hame the ither day an' she tells me 'at there's a domestic crisis seein' as a, "splug wis parkin". I'm nae quite sure far hid the wirse loose connection.

Then the ither nicht I asks her fit she wanted fae the chippie an' she answers, "een o' they
Humbo Jaddocks." Eftir 'at I wis affa worried I'd repeat said phrase fan I wis doon at the shoppie.

But, she left the best far fan she wis keekin at the telly at sum cookery programme. Add the teuchter accent and say after me, "I've nivver had lack of ram."

Noo, surely yiv hae a pucklie o' examples yersel tae tell us a' aboot.

n.b. Diversity rating : 0/10

© McNoddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

2 comments:

uphilldowndale said...

Do you know how long it's taken me to read that!
It's not just letters I mix up, but whole words, I once asked the carpet fitter if he knew where the lawn mower was, when I meant vacuum cleaner, *sigh*
when I had my dyslexia assessment (I may have been 42yrs old at the time, but doing a 'spelling test' test held the same fear as when I was 9yr's old) I had to do some 'Spoonerisms'.... but I just can't, not intentionally at least, they put my brain into total melt down.

Noddy said...

I've often been asked to hoover the lawn and put the dishes in the tumble drier and the clothes in the dishwasher.... and there was I thinking you girls were godestic moddesses.