Landshark Mk.II

Following on from the blinder played by T. Mayhem re Supernintendos, here is her latest plan to replace Polis dugs.

© Bumpy the Dog 

Published by Toy Town™ Times 

Again?

Surely once was enough.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Toilet humour

I do believe that despite protests elsewhere, Auntie Beeb is plumbing even newer depths in toilet humour, though I do find Hacker somewhat fetching in his silver number.

© Bumpy Dog
Published by Toy Town™ Times

'Lassie' Dies

Sad news from Toy Town™ folks.

I posted about Senga's (that's Agnes for our non-Scots) heroics a while back which were highlighted in court by the accused's brief.

I like dogs, even landsharks, and this is a wee tragedy. It is also a sickener for Senga's handler and family as the hounds live with handlers these days and her handler will now have to start from scratch with a new dug.

But, in typical black Polis humour, here's something canine related that made me chuckle.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Treading water

It appears we are off to arbitration again as the PNB talks have broken down.

But then again we are not a special case (and Fido deserves a wee bit of recognition too) are we?

Just a thought, upon which government will the arbitrators be 'suggesting' their pay settlement figure?

Sink or swim?

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Out of the mouths of babes

According to the Torygraph, a 366 page guide (How many pages?) from the NCB has these observations for carers of toddlers....

"Toddlers who turn their noses up at spicy food from overseas could be branded racists by a Government-sponsored agency.

The National Children's Bureau, which receives £12 million a year, mainly from Government funded organisations, has issued guidance to play leaders and nursery teachers advising them to be alert for racist incidents among youngsters in their care.

This could include a child of as young as three who says "yuk" in response to being served unfamiliar foreign food."

Hat Tip to First In for highlighting this bit of PC nonsense, although apparently it is only an ENGLISH problem.

What a pizza nonsense. Now I'm not one to curry favour with the non-diverse elements in our populous, but this sort of tripe is fodder to them. (I'll get my reflective jacket...)

Psalms 8:2: Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou might still the enemy and the avenger.

Matthew 21:16: And said unto him, Hear thou what these say? And Jesus said unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?

p.s. I suspect the photo's unintentional undertones, on so many levels, will offend or appal someone, somewhere, but it's cute!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Spot the dog

A while back I directed readers to the Piemen Polis website to see their newest recruit.

Well it appears he hasn't gone down too well in some corners, ken, all because he's donned his bunnet.

Apparently puppies aren't allowed to be cute any more and TayPol stand accused of being ham fisted with this dog's dinner of a plug for their spanking new call centre and making a pig's ear of it.

What a load of PC poop, or as my ickle bruvver put it, "barking mad" (due apologies to a' yon feel folk - ed.)

Listening to: Donny & Marie Osmond - Puppy Love
via FoxyTunes

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Cute just now!

Tayside Police have revealed their latest recruit in the fight against crime.

Check out the wee mite's diary for more photos.

One for Whichendbites?

Even Dickie might go Ahhh!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Dog Tired

For fawkes sake would you bipeds give it a rest!

My dear friend, who resides with Noddy and his clan, has been having a hard time of it lately.

Firstly, due to some mistaken belief that back in the mists of time OUR nation was saved from disaster at the hands of a bunch of left footers with some explosive ideas, the last weekend has been torture for us hounds.

Here is some canine advice for you bipeds, especially hereabouts:

1. Guy was bombing about well before the union of parliaments. This is an ENGLISH matter.
2. The date is the 5th of November. It's not the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 9th - delete as required. I mean the ditty wouldn't sound quite right would it, "Remember, remember, the (enter date(s) as required - see point 3), gunpowder, treason and plot."
3. Keep it to the 5th you muppets. OK, so a Monday ain't so convenient what with work and all that. I mean Guy what were you thinking of? Especially when you can set off your rockets, squibs, catherine wheels etc. on a Friday/Saturday/Sunday night to the accompaniment of numerous cans of Tennents, bottles of Buckie and Tesco's own vodka. Wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to mix explosives with alcohol would you. Why not move Christmas to the first day with snow, just so you can all sing like Bing.

Anyway, back to my Pal. She's of a nervous disposition and what with the extended lack of consideration and knowledge of Scottish history shown the last few days, she was in such a state, a visit to the vets was required.

Turns out it wasn't just the extended festivities that had had her cowering behind the settee like Noddy used to when the Daleks were exterminating some extra on TV. It appears she also has a phantom pregnancy.

Any more of this malarky from you humans and the poor bitch will have a phantom miscarriage.

It's nae real.

© Bumpy Dog
Published by Toy Town™ Times

A training session with Twining

Black in Blue: A training session with Twining

Barking. Completely.

n.b. You'll need this link too for the comments field.

Muzzle Puzzle

Please view this blog entry from (W) PC Bloggs.

My own view is why stop there, for instance all Reading FC players should be issued with carpet slippers along with elbow and knee pads! (Cech this out.)