Today I will be mainly drinking...

I'm hoping my reader follows me on Bookface.  If they do, they will know I often post a wee selfie of my occasional tipple there with the heading as above. 

I'm told folk are amazed by my alcoholism varied choice of refreshment on offer for consideration.

To be fair, I am particularly lucky to live in a country now blessed with numerous craft ale producers.  Perhaps the biggest newbie of them all being the very local BrewDog.  Since well after I started this blog this company has mushroomed to the point that Toy Town™ has no less than 3 outlets.  I've managed to drop in to do a bit of quality control at their Edinburgh Airport outlet and their city outlets in Berlin and Barcelona. Never disappointed.

However, my favourite Scots craft brewery are Williams Brothers.  From the early days in Tyndrum and heather ale, they now produce a number of stunners.  My personal favourite being the intriguingly named 7 giraffes.  

I'm also blessed to be in walking distance of the world's only adult sweetie shop based in a filling station.  If you haven't visited this place in person or virtually you are missing something special.  Did I mention it's not just beer in there.  There's a richt collieshangie of treats in store.

Something that struck me sampling ales has been the prominence, and in my own top five, of beers from across the pond.  In days of yore I had palpitations at the mention of the poor imitation that was Budweiser and other similar tainted water from Coors, Schlitz etc.  Two of my absolute favourites are Death by Coconut, by the Oskar Blues Company (Think Bounty Bar and stout mix - hold that thought.  It really is way better than even that!).  Then there's the incomparable concoction that is the 2018 brew of Dragon's Milk Banana Coconut.  It blows you away with so many notes you feel there is an orchestra playing in your gob.  If I ever get allowed to fly over to the USofA then I am making a beeline straight for Holland in Michigan to sample some, or preferably all, of the flavours in the Dragon's Den.  I'm also somewhat disheartened to hear that the makers of the above pictured tipple are out of business.  Not that I really wanted to go to Reno.

Whilst I am on it, so to speak, can I give an honourable mention to these three non-beer tipples.  Even Tesco sell them.  Lots of ice and a BBQ helps. 

1 - Crabbies Raspberry Ginger Beer
2 - Crabbies Rhubarb Ginger Beer
3 - Angioletti Italian Cider 

Tomorrow I will mainly be hanging a haveover.  Hic. 


BTW - Trident renewal is an anachronistic and abhorrent aberration. 

Saor Alba. 

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Can Seo

 

Over on Twitter the low oxygen level up yon munros has clearly got to Muriel Gray.

I like Muriel Gray.  I bought her books.

Can I refer all involved in the resultant furore to this evidential work.

Back in the very early eighties, following Varsity, I worked as a Field Researcher and Analyst for a very similar and indeed the first National Opinion Survey on Scots Gaelic under the auspices of An Comunn Gaidhealach. I can only say read the research and findings there. 

I also found this article to sum up what needs saying. 

Am I a native Gaelic speaker? Chan eil. 
Do I speak Gaelic? Tha, beagan.

But back to the hyperventilation over at Twitter.

Some observations:

• Many countries have bilingual road signs where there is a significant linguistic rationale for doing so. Off the top of my head I recall Magyar script on Eastern Austrian road/village signs. This pleases me because my family name is Hungarian, although admittedly our lot emigrated back circa very early 18th century and well before UKIP!
• Gaelic was, and indeed is, spoken well past (i.e. south) Inbhir Nis agus An Gearasdan for the information of a few so called intelligenti of the SNPout coven. 
• My recollection and the stats confirmed that the attitude to Gaelic was surprisingly favourable even in the most unlikely spots such as Kirkcaldy and East Kilbride!
• The comments on Muriel's tweet, and the significant follow up blog by Paul Kavanagh, have now become a political football with #SNPbad and rabid nationalism attributes being flung about in relation to the well intentioned actions to reverse the decline in the language due to the linguistic colonialism of English. This is all the more disappointing as it was George Younger, aye him, Thatcher's Secretary of State for Scotland, that was at the head of the queue pushing Gaelic to the forefront as he had a deep affinity to, and what I like described as, the Gaelic Community. (Jen Topping was deceptively close with her assertion that it was The Iron Lady herself that was the promoter of Gaelic back in the early eighties).  Language has no direct political hue.
• My forebears on three sides were undoubtedly Gaelic speakers (from Rothes, Strathdon and Scalpay, Harris), the late MiL was a downtrodden native speaker and I have a significant past supporting what I liked to jokingly call the Gaelic mafia. My view was simply that the language, and the cultural strings attached, were being trampled on by the Beurla stampede and some significant positive discrimination was needed. 

Finally, the author of our 1981 survey had this to say to the Leveson Enquiry about Gaelic. If you've ever heard Ken speak in depth about Gaelic, his Rayleigh accent knocks you right off your stot! More fun even than that was myself and his loon (nepotism alert!), whilst surveying in Castlebay, entering a local hostelry and abidy hearing our accents (mine is a Heinz 57 mix of mainly Buckinghamshire and a few other RAF airbase twangs coupled with couthy Doric and his; piercing Essex) and the patrons yapping to each other in Gaelic clearly believing we hadn't a scooby what they were saying.  Like I say, I speak a little Gaelic, but wasn't letting on. My cohort, however, despite the foregoing is fluent. He timed the reveal to perfection. Oh and we both have a particularly appropriate first name for that particular island. Mine is the standard English spelling. Unsurprisingly, Ken's loon is the Gaelic version. The jungle drums went feel thereafter........

Chan eil aon chànan gu leòr.

UPDATE: Auntie and the PnJ have now had their say too.

BTW - Trident renewal is an anachronistic and abhorrent aberration. 

Feel free to spread the joy by joining the SNP today. 

Saor Alba. 

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Endex

Dinna fash yersel.  No finished on here, jist being a bobbie.

Busy daen naithin a noo, bit fan I'm ready tae yap, look oot. Nae holds barred ye ken.

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Local Geography

Toyland his sim affa tricky place names. 

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wecht!

Cabrach Radio - enjoy Facebookers.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

ayePhone shockeroonee

Fit like loons and quines?

It's a sair fecht, but yon new fangled ayePhones cannae deal wi' the doric twang.

Big up tae the Polisman, fars obviously been affa weel brocht up - and clearly nae fae Mastrick.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

The Lion and the Unicorn

Time for a history lesson.

Fan I wis a loon at skool doon in Englandshire and daen ma 'A' livils, one of ma History teechur's wiys o' gettin us interested in Victorian political history wis tae divide the class up intae supporters o' Disraeli and Gladstone. I wis picked for the Gladstone outfit.

I mind especially the Disraeli team (who had local advantage as his hame wis just up the road) takkin the michael oot o' Gladstone for his peculiar past-time o' cuttin' doon trees.

It amused me then, that on the evening of the election, the Beeb reported as follows:

How are the leaders whiling away these nervous hours? Well, according to the Press Association, Gordon and Sarah Brown had lamb stew for dinner before the prime minister went off for a nap at about 8.30pm. David Cameron, meanwhile, spent two hours chopping logs.

I bleetered at the time on Bookface that yon wis affa Gladstonesque of DC.

Eftir 'at, I have been telt that DC is a passionate follower o' Disraeli. So just far dis he stand, considering that he has also quoted Gladsone viz:

In fact, it was perhaps the most famous liberal politician in British history, William Gladstone, who best summed up what I believe a government should do. ‘It is the duty of government to make it difficult for people to do wrong, easy to do right.’

Perhaps then, it is of nae great surprise that he has found it easy to get into bed with Clegg.

Jist fit a' this means for us poor souls north o' the border is anyone's guess, but as far as the criminal fraternity are concerned I hope there are CHANGES that scunner the ne'er do wells.

p.s.

DC in his formative yoof also idolised Thatcher. Nobody's perfect!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

There's something missing....

"Abidy run there's a Clegg aboot!"

Ha'en a wee chuckle at the Timmy boys tryin' to do doon the LibDems noo 'at yon fit dee you call him is up in the ratings.

Apparently abidy's ogling Sky tonight and some mass debate o'er Bristols, or did I pick that up wrong?

Only problem is that something is missing for us o'er the borders of Englandshire and to many of us left on the enforced sidelines again, it will not be forgotten.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Jox Vox - Vol. 3

Time for a skirl fae the loon o'er the happenings up in yon pairts.

First off there's little 'n' large. Go on guess which one interests me more? Staying on topic, this is just plain daft. Where on earth are you going to get a Scotsman to pay 10K for a comparatively wee bottle? As it happens, Glenfiddich is one of the few drams I would turn down anyway. Not for me, even if I had a hotline to Derren Brown. However, this does interest me.

Meanwhile a local brewery has a novel approach to helping tackle the country's binge-drinking culture.

Linking on the theme of alcohol, I liked this crumbly's honesty.

Conversely, as an antedote, the following story jumped out at me and in my best Sun headline mode I decided on: Little Toads!

Apparently, Sir Terry Wogan has said, "I can't go back to Toy Town™." As folk up here would say, "You big Jessie."

It's now official, a heap of money has been lost in translation. Teaching English is not going to help when our visitors are confronted with the Doric!

..... and finally a word or two about our apparently shrinking ovine friends.

I started off this post whining about being fleeced, but there is only one winner in that category, especially as our roasting hot summer has done for a predecessor.

Dun.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Drookit

Intelligence received on 04/09/2009 provides that some 'motorists' think they are invincible.

Despite the presence of the Polis at this flash flood, some 'drivers' still decided they could forge on through the sypit streets.

Oops!

Fireman Sam was busy rescuing them all over the place.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Phoenix

Fit like abidy?

A pucklie o' folk hae noticed that yon loon his nae bin postin syne a whiley.

Sum hiv even bin emailin the loon affa concerned for his wellbeing.

It's affa hertnin ta ken yon folk are wundrin fit's a dae wi the loon.

A hannae been nobbled rest assured. Weel that's wis aywiz aricht be'en as I'd bin intae hae ma bell rung a guid whiley syne.

So 'en fit's kept me away fae yon blogging.

To be honest a dah ken, but things round these pairts hae bin busy wi' daen naithin special really, but yon blog juices hid bin running dry and ither things hid bin mair important.

Onywiy, A'm sure you're a' champin at the bit tae ken fit the wee photee is a' aboot. Weel 'at's far the Toytowners are aff tae this weekend for their hols and to chill off. Nae doot it'll be drookit o'er on yon west coast, bit there's iywiz the uisge beatha and the leann!

MAIR CHILL.......




Fan the Toytowners get back, there will be plenty for Noddy & Mr Plod to bleeter on aboot. It will be like a feast eftir a famine. A proverbial Phoenix...




And as a wee teaser I'll tell ye a' aboot fit A've bin up to. Here's een clue fit A wis daen fan een o' they bunch of colonials were celebratin' some kind o' Independence Day...

As a certain Mr Frey said, "We were around when the Dead Sea was just sick."

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

What a May Day

Be it Facebook, Twitter or the meeja, abidy is bleetering on aboot and fair chuffed 'at they're ha'en a lang weekend aff. Not for me and yon yins in the Emergency Services.

Enjoy, but be nice, please!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Twist in my Sobriety

Guess who's Nightshift this Hogmanay (or as famously once described "Mahogany").

Thus, as one of the few sober eens amongst the stocious throngs, I thought this video was apt.



Bliadhna Mhath Ùr to all and sundry.

......... and the twist?

There's a bottle of Laughing Frog with my name on it waiting for my return home.

Slàinte Mhath!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Far div yi bide?

Anither wee doric tester for yi.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wither Forecast

Aye, fine, bit nae abidy gets the choice tae bide at hame. Some of us hae tae work 24/7. It's been chookin it doon hale watter a' weekend. Drookit I wis, min. Mind yi, jist as weel it wisna caller or I'd be knee deep in sna.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Xmas Lichties

I dah ken aboot you, but fan the winter festival time comes aroond, een o' my favourite pastimes oan the job is tae ging roond an' see fit folk hae been pittin up on or ootside their hooses in the wiy o' Xmas decorations. Aye, Xmas I said.

It iywiz scunners me 'at the guid folk o' the sink estates seem to hae a puckle o' siller left in the bankie to spend on feel inflatables and hunnerds o' lichties emitting a carbon footprint visible fae the ISS.

I hae started a competition amongst my colleagues tae undertake a Phase B search tae find the worst excesses. There is a clear leader already wi' a 30 foot tree in a garden wi' tinsel (aye tinsel!) and a flashing star on the top, an' lichties a' oer. Jist to ram the pint hame, the same folk hae put up mair lichties a' oer the gable end o' the hoose. I hanna had the chance tae ging roon the front tae see fit delights await me yonder.

I wis considering takkin my camera wi' me on nichts jist tae record a' the worst eens and get a snap o' the hale hoose aforementioned, but 'at wid be surveillance an' I hanna had time tae pit in the necessary forms!

Please feel free to join in the competition! Jist mind the paperwork first, min.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Furry boots

Woke this morn to an inch o' sna and decided 'at global warning is definitely a fraud. 

Stonehead captured the affa bonnie scenes.

Weather seems to be changing for the worse even in places you'd least expect.

Last weekend saw Mr UHDD in peril fell running in Cumbria and all who link to Mrs UHDD will be glad he and his clamjafry came oot safely if somewhat drookit. 

The accompanying video shows 'at it wis dreich right enough.  Here's a shorter taster.

I was going to suggest that Mr UHDD sat down with a wee dram and watched this, especially after the last episode linked here amongst the comments made.

Wrap up and dinna forget they furry boots, min.

© McNoddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

To Twother or not to Twother

At first glance at the headline for this report from Reuters, I thought we'd had the good old pint metricated.

However, it appears that someone thinks there is somebody out there somewhere who cannot cope with a whole pint of beer/cider, but thinks a half pint is too little.

Plain daft if you ask me, but apparently it's a common measure (425 mls) in Oz and known as a Schooner in most states there, but not all. I always knew Aussies were lightweights!

I won't bother to twother.

On another booze related tack, this proposal fairly took the wind out of a Toy Town™ publican's sails (Geddit?). Speaking from experience, at 3am in the morning in the town centre at weekends, I'm rarely running into folk blootered on tins of Tennent's Special from the Offie. I wonder where they've come from? Mind you, the publicans can now say they only need to pay 2/3 of the cost, 'cos abidy will be downing twothers, even the quines.

Meanwhile, another British institution is tinkered with and goes down the plughole of multi-nationalism. However, on reading the article, apparently the change in the speaking clock disnae bother the rest of the Union and is only upsetting for our English cousins. Perhaps we could have a separate Jock Clock.

Calling time folks.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Ma heid is yarkin'

A while back I posted about the lack of a sense of humour at the Portman group in relation to various Scottish ales and their names.

I'm glad to report, well actually update from the Beeb, that the world is not square and I quote,

"A House of Commons motion has been tabled aimed at protecting a Scottish ale called Skull Splitter.

The Orkney Brewery fears the product could be withdrawn from sale following a report commissioned by alcohol watchdog the Portman Group.

It has been claimed its Viking-branded bottles have an aggressive theme.

Orkney and Shetland MP Alistair Carmichael said losing the name would be a serious setback, and called for the complaint to be rejected.

Skull Splitter, an 8.5% ale created more than 20 years ago, is sold internationally. The brewery said the ale was in fact named after Thorfinn Hausakluif, the seventh Viking earl of Orkney, nicknamed "Skull Splitter".

Mr Carmichael said the name would be inappropriate if it were a low-priced drink aimed at youngsters. But he said it was an award-winning beer which is bought by discerning drinkers who appreciate its quality and who drink it responsibly".

Orkney Brewery's parent company, Sinclair Breweries Ltd, earlier said it was "stunned" by the complaint and hoped for "common sense".

The Portman Group confirmed a complaint was being investigated."

Common sense - fit?

Meanwhile, as pointed out by DBA Dude over at his blog, said brewery (which now owns the Atlas brews) is doing its bit for Red Squirrels with its new brew. As DBA says, no fluffy tailed beasties are used in the brewing process, but let's wait till the Portman Group hear about that one. They'll go nuts.

Aye an' anither thing, fit does this tumshie think he's dae'n? Dis he nae ken it's the mither tongue?

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

That Wenus Voman

Fit am I tae dae?

She fit haes tae be obeyed has bin spikkin in tongues recently fit I dinna unnerstan.

Noo, usually it's affa difficult to mak oot fit she's bleetering aboot, partly due tae the fact she's a quine onywiy, bit add on her Invernesian twang and I'm dumfoonert maist o' the time.

Aye, I ken a sair fecht, bit listen up it gets wirser.

She's takken to spikkin in Dyslexic.

I caim hame the ither day an' she tells me 'at there's a domestic crisis seein' as a, "splug wis parkin". I'm nae quite sure far hid the wirse loose connection.

Then the ither nicht I asks her fit she wanted fae the chippie an' she answers, "een o' they Humbo Jaddocks." Eftir 'at I wis affa worried I'd repeat said phrase fan I wis doon at the shoppie.

But, she left the best far fan she wis keekin at the telly at sum cookery programme. Add the teuchter accent and say after me, "I've nivver had lack of ram."

Noo, surely yiv hae a pucklie o' examples yersel tae tell us a' aboot.

n.b. Diversity rating : 0/10

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times