Saturday, March 31, 2007


Been on Night Nurse, Day Nurse, Middle of the Afternoon Nurse for the last three days after the youngest brought back a virulent dose of head, chest and yes stomach flu from his skool.

Sleep is variable and broken.

I should be lates at work, but at the moment unless they can attach a khazi to the Panda I ain't leaving home! Well at least I'm keeping fit what with all the runs I'm doing.

I can assure you this is more than your average man flu, but am I getting any sympathy?

All say ah!

p.s. There does seem to be a theme developing!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

This stinks

No, I'm not indulging in a cheap jibe or black humour, just observing that why is it that this had to happen to those already enduring crappy enough living conditions?

I think the Beeb report dropped one too when they reported that the
"head of the Palestinian Water Authority told Associated Press that several sewage projects, including one in the (inundated) village, had been halted after international funding dried up in the wake of the election victory of Hamas in January last year."

Politics before basic human needs?

3 sad indictments on modern society

Joe90 posts a belter..... click link and read on.

Rub the lamp, wish for apathy.

Monday, March 26, 2007


Are you sitting comfortably? This will probably be my longest post to date.

There have been a few matters and posts elsewhere that I have felt needed comment in one place and this post will be it.

I have brought all my thoughts together (that took some work!) and have decided to sort them under the banner of Champions.

Football Champions - Scotland, yes we are the unofficial world champions again after the win over Georgia. We have also been the world champions longest. Don't believe me? Click here. Thought I'd add this before we get humped in Bari and the balloon bursts!

Championing a cause - well it couldn't be anyone else than Inspector Gadget for his postings about poor Dan Coffill, his family and friends. So many issues were highlighted by these posts and links elsewhere that I cannot do TRUE JUSTICE to the forcefulness of the posts other than to ask that you read the posts/links and then reflect on the most significant point.....where does it all leave Dan and his family.

However, I will add a couple of observations that do need made;

  • When is a Police Officer off duty? My understanding is that a police officer is such 24 hours a day and should/would be expected to exercise his/her role and behave accordingly and appropriately at all times when the circumstances dictate so. However, as Bloggshe observed, some countries think differently. It might also be pertinent to observe that when a Polisman/woman gets in the brown stuff, he/she can expect to be the football of the circulation war in the media and then get the double-whammy of a PSCD investigation even if the matter takes place outwith rostered work hours.
  • Jurors disclosing feelings about a trial.... Hmmm moot point. I have to suggest, respectfully cos' he's a guvnor and motivated by a genuinely felt despair etc. for Dan's case, that the greater good of anonymity of Jurors must hold precedence and any link to any site giving such details, however well intentioned, may entice folk to think such revelations (however shocking or because they reveal additional misdemeanours or the failure of the system) question the very substance and foundation of the judicial system (particularly the concept of jury trials) and I do not believe that, in the long run, is of benefit.
'nuff said. Just spare a thought or prayer for Dan and his folks, because whatever the circumstances, he and they sure didn't deserve this.

Champions of fluffyness - I'm not being patronising here, nor am I going pink and fluffy. I am delighted to see many a blogger (or wordpresser etc etc) open up about their feelings. For too long the 'macho' image of the Police and the Services in particular has prevented staff from addressing mental issues beyond their control, understanding or competence. For too long, having stress, depression, PTSD, and the like was seen as 'weakness.' I would wager that virtually every active Service personnel and active (!) Police Officer has their demons to deal with. Opening up is unquestionably the best way to deal with it. Don't be afraid to do so and perhaps we can change the culture and get help quickly when it's needed. Many have posted recently on same and I draw your attention to the best of the bunch as below;
Champions again? - It's getting mighty tense up at the top of the Premiership and I have to concede I think the Manks have the edge. There's still Europe as well!

You guys are champions - Have a deserved warm glow and virtual hug for all your support and comments to this and other blogs in our little blogosphere.... and Snoopy ... get back in your doghouse if you are trolling this!

See Ya,

Off to put a tenner on Andorra!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Thursday, March 22, 2007


Normal service has been resumed - amazing how a bottle of red wine helps soothe the soul.

Time for some lighter observations. Due to alcoholic stupor I cannot be bovvered to type out the stories, but go on yersel click on the links for the two stories below that have brought me out of my melancholy state.

Firstly, a dunderheid fae Deutschland. An unusual way to get Access. Would you credit it? A Polizei spokesperson was reported to have stated, "Zat vill do nicely."

Secondly, a neep fae just o'er the border. This one made me chuckle, because I recall much the same happening in a shout I attended about 20 years ago. Speaking of footwear, check this out. Clearly they haven't encountered my eldest's offerings.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Kicked in the teeth

Having been brought up as a Dependant, I take a keen interest in most things military. It is achingly clear that the various agencies involved in dealing officially with servicemen and servicewomen (and their Dependants) injured and killed in the line of duty are failing lamentably both in their duty of care and levels of empathy.

I usually leave Rogue Gunner to highlight these issues admirably, but here's one he missed.

The local paper reports that;

The mum of an Aberdeen soldier killed in Iraq today hit out over demands to make her pay for inquest papers.

Diane Douglas says she has been told she can get the transcript of the court probe - at a cost of £1.10p per page.

And she branded the request "a damn disgrace".

Lance Corporal Allan Douglas was on the roof of a police station when he was hit by a sniper in Iraq last year. The 22-year-old, of the 1st Battalion Highlanders, had been planning to leave the army.

In November an inquest in Oxford, attended by his mum and dad Walter, returned a verdict of unlawful killing.

His mum said today it was "very important" that she have all the papers from the inquest but felt the authorities were "just not bothered".

Bloody beancounters.

If I sound bitter then tough. I try my level best to deal with compassion in my job, but penny pinching bureaucrats bite my arse.

I've sworn twice already...not my usual way. I apologise, but I recall that when my father, having served 40 years in the RAF and then as a SSAFA Welfare Officer for 2 years, died having succumbed to cancer and suddenly the bookkeepers at RAF Hendon were on to me after a scant few weeks to reclaim 11 days of his pension as it was paid in advance!

They got a letter expressing my feelings. I was polite. Did I get a reply? You have a guess.

Tears are welling.....see what those bastards have done to me after all these years. I'm off to weep quietly. Missing you old man!

Total embarrassment

I posted previously about the gravy train that is calling regularly at your local HMP. Well, as reported in the Scotsman, the Justiciary have had to cave in to legislation made elsewhere to protect human rights, but whose rights are really protected here?

Can we call this victim orientated?

Ken MacAskill, the SNP's justice spokesman, said: "This is outrageous. People who breach the law must pay the price. Taxpayers' money is being used to fund these legal aid cases, money which could be going to help vulnerable people in need of legal representation. A line needs to be drawn now." Spot on.

I think the Convention on Human Rights needs re-examined and common sense applied. I like to dream occasionally!

I, me, myself, one, will have to PAY this criminal money out of my pocket and it makes me choke.

Monday, March 19, 2007

An old codger, a bold dodger & a cold todger

"He jist flashed by, ken."

My ickle bruvver couldn't resist this story from Perth which was reported by the Beeb.

A pensioner is being sought by police after he was spotted driving naked around a bowling green in Perth on a motorised scooter.

The man, thought to be in his 70s, was seen in South Inch by a passer-by at about 1000 GMT on Thursday.

The witness was concerned he would be seen by children at a nearby park.

A Tayside Police spokesman said the man put his clothes back on and drove off. The man's scooter is believed to have a top speed of 3 mph.
The sheer speed of his getaway obviously dissuaded any pursuers. Apparently several officers were dispatched to the bowling club to investigate but the fugitive had gone - leaving tyre tracks as the only clue to his identity.

A spokeswoman for Tayside Police confirmed they were looking for the fugitive. She said:

"At 10.10am, a naked man was seen on a disability motorised scooter at the South Inch.

"The area was searched and there was no trace of the male involved. We are still actively looking for him."

According to Polis pursuit rules we are not supposed to pursue folk on bikes/scooters that are not wearing helmets (though his helmet may well have been on display) in case they fall off (the rider that is) and injure themselves. I suppose that would include a foot pursuit too given the speed.

When caught I'm sure he will be ASBO'd!

As ickle bruvver noted, a brave old man in this weather!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Hit me with your celery stick

News is slow this weekend and not much in the way of ingredients to make up even a soupçon of interest.

However, given that it's my team under the spotlight, I thought I'd bring you this tasty morsel from a report by Reuters. I think the Dury is out on this one.

Since I'm in the rhythm, you might want to delve further here.

Mind you, I do recall going to the assistance of one of my colleagues who was being assaulted by a cucumber wielding madman (Really, it did happen!)

Lettuce say he got his just desserts and that was just for starters! My colleague also avoided getting cabbage ears. Unfortunately, we didn't have pepper spray at that Thyme, so we kept him at Bay with Mr Wood.

Hope this has given you food for thought and the comments mushroom.

Click for Update

Friday, March 16, 2007


originally uploaded by chimpaction.

No, not the TV series, but a barely believable situation comedy across the on.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Sweet Smell Of Justice...

... and there was you thinking there'd been a righteous decision in one of our courts, but no I'm sorry.

I merely wish to draw your attention to Sky News and their report that:

Designers in India have had enough of sweaty policemen and are giving officers in the state of Gujarat an image overhaul.

Their new uniforms will be impregnated with the fragrance of flowers and citrus.

Designer Somesh Singh said: "They are not the first person one would choose to meet, but if they smell good and fresh, one might as well approach them."

The uniforms use cotton with a fragrant finish, reflective prints and fibre optic technology to make sure they not only smell good, but glow at night so officials can be easily seen.

They will retain their scent even after washing as the fragrance is embedded in the cotton during processing.

The police seem eager to try out their new uniform, with senior officer RK Patel saying: "We are tired of wearing the thick cotton brown colour uniform with a broad belt and plastic badges. If the new uniform makes us stand out in the crowd, keep us active with a pleasant aroma and yet is very formal, then we are all for it."

Does this mean I can ditch my Brut 33?

p.s. Can we have judges like this?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

A small victory

Inspector Gadget and to a lesser extent all of you who blogged and disseminated the horror story that was the vicious attack on Daniel and the reduction in the - I cannot bring myself to call them anything polite or fit to publish - sentences, chalk one up for the power of the net.

Despite this good news, a nightly reflection or prayer for Daniel would not go amiss. There is still a long road ahead for him, his family and close friends.

Photo © Daily Mail 2007

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Ivan Idea

Yikes! That last post was too serious, so something lighter is needed....

Reuters report that a Russian policeman has been jailed for phoning an airport with a bomb warning to help acquaintances of his boss make their flight, the Kommersant daily said on Friday.

A senior police officer, who was seeing off two businessmen in the Urals city of Yekaterinburg in February last year, told his subordinate to fix the problem when they failed to board the plane on time.

The assistant phoned the airport and said he had received a message about explosives and weapons on board the plane. The aircraft with 40 passengers on board turned around in mid-air to return to Yekaterinburg.

The police officer and his subordinate were sentenced to 21 months in prison each, the paper reported.

Witnesses cited by Kommersant said the businessmen had been drinking in the airport.

Now that's what I call an 'unlawful order.'


There has been a fair bit of a kerfuffle in the media and amongst fellow bloggers regarding the incident in northern Britain (?) whereby a wee lassie was apprehended by the local Polis.

It's illuminating to see this update from Sky News. I just wonder if this video will go into the public domain? Personally, I feel there has been a rush to judgement from all quarters. This includes the Cop's own force, who commented that the video was shocking and then on reflection stated, having seen the whole footage, that it was consistent with the application of force continuum. Thereafter, the force appear with one hand to be 'backing him up' and then removing him from front-line duties.

Having said that, I rather suspect that the result of the enquiry will not be as desired, or to use the lassie's own words, "
I hope they get what's coming to them," but will be a disappointing, politically correct, fudge for all of the parties concerned.

What most will agree with though is the utterly despicable way in which Race has become an issue in this matter. It has been said before that many of the so-called ad-hoc anti-racist forums/spokespersons are actually, on many an occasion, creating a more divided not diverse society. This time, I believe 'they' have shot themselves in the foot.

Another year older....

On this day Chuck Norris, Sharon Stone, Neneh Cherry, Eva Herzigova and Prince Edward were born....oh and my ickle bruvver.

The not so nice Mark Chapman was also born on the 10 March.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Ghostly Trio

ITN report the following:

A public warning by police that three convicted burglars (housebreakers) are about to be released from jail has been described as an "extremely bizarre" decision.

The National Association for Care and Resettlement of Offenders (NACRO) said Suffolk Police were unfairly stigmatising the three men.

The group said the warning also appeared to be suggesting that prison did not work.

The Prison Reform Trust said the force had entered new territory and questioned whether the warning was necessary.

Both organisations said they had never heard of a police force issuing such a warning before.

Suffolk Police issued a press release warning residents in west Suffolk to beware because the three men were being released from prison in the near future.

Superintendent Jon Brighton said the number of burglaries in "west Suffolk" had dropped from nearly 700 in 2000 to around 500 in 2006.

And he added: "These men, should they choose to re-offend, have the capacity to undo all that hard work."

Police did not name the men or give any clues to their identity.

Who you gonna call?

c u m8 yr T's oot

I'd heard on the radio on my way home yesterday from work what John Reid had now come up with to further enhance his and his department's reputation, but having just managed to crawl to my bed at 1100 hours after an extended nightshift, I was unable to post on same.

In my forced absence Yornicked and Totally Un-PC managed to get in and post early. Not much else I can add to their posts, but to register my complete disbelief at the powers that be in London.

They probably think they r KEWL!

I've heard of self defence......

....but elf defence?

Seems the 'Toy Town Troublemakers Team' have been spreading their wings to Northern Ireland as the Beeb reports as follows:

A man accused of a stealing underwear from a shop in a knifepoint raid believed he was a female elf at the time, Belfast Crown Court has heard.

Robert Boyd, 45, from Broadlands in Carrickfergus, is accused of holding up staff at the Orchid shop in Belfast disguised in a wig, hat and glasses.

He told the court he had been involved in a role-playing game at the time, and his character was an elf named Beho.

He denies robbery but says he may have blurred reality and fantasy.

He also said it "could be right" that Beho had intended to rob the shop - although he told the jury he could not remember what was going through his mind at the time.

He told defence counsel Anthony Cinnamond that within his small social circle he had been participating in a game known as Shadowrun.

The game was set in the future and the assumed characters were criminals, he said.

He told the court his character was a shaman, or magical elf, who carried a small Japanese sword as a weapon.

Mr Boyd, who said he visits a psychiatrist regularly, conceded that he "seemed to have blurred that line between reality and fantasy".

"I can't believe that I personally did that... and I deeply regret that.

"If I had sought some help I would've avoided that in it's entirety."

Prosecutors claim that Mr Boyd knew "perfectly well" what he was doing on the day of the robbery and was "using this memory loss scenario to avoid answering very difficult questions".

The lab technician, from Broadlands in Carrickfergus, denies one charge of robbery.

He is accused of stealing two sets of bras, knickers, suspender belts and stockings from the shop on Lisburn Road on 14 December, 2005.

The case continues.

Perhaps the Naughty Knicker Nicker will get a spell in jail and he can put his ill-gotten gains to use!

I'm keeping my source for this one confidential. Wouldn't want him/her spooked, but you know who you are.

You couldn't make this up, as someone would say.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Watching your step

Found this video of minimum intervention at its best.

We are not amused

Sky news report that the Princely pranksters Wills and Harry have been accused of recording a bogus message on the Queen's answerphone.

The pair were asked for help by their regal gran when she was baffled by the technology, but she was reported to be mortified when she heard the end result.

Their message said: "Hey wassup! This is Liz. Sorry I'm away from the throne."

The recording continued: "For a hotline to Philip, press one. For Charles, press two. For the corgis, press three."

According to The Star, the Queen saw the funny side later when she thought about which VIPs might have heard the message, but her private secretary was not so amused.

The paper says he almost fell off his chair the first time one of his calls was put through to the voicemail.

The Queen, who is 80, has been taught by Prince William and Prince Harry how to send text messages on her mobile phone.

She was given her first mobile phone in 2001 by the Duke of York, but she banned servants at the royal palaces from carrying phones on duty, after becoming annoyed at their ring tones.

The ban was reportedly prompted by several mobile phones ringing during a major banquet held for foreign dignitaries.

No wonder Harry is off to Iraq!

HM also has a lovely gift for Wills.


I hate to bring this up, but this story takes some beating....

The local evening paper reports that a husband who tipped a basin of vomit over his wife's head has been admonished. (i.e. the Court held back from giving it to him full force)

Aberdeen Sheriff Court heard that after the "foul and disgusting" assault, James Russell declared his love for his wife Amanda. (It's enough to make you puke)

He told police: "I love her to bits." (e.g. carrots, tomato skins.....)

The couple were estranged at the time of the incident and, despite reconciliation, are now ex-partners. (i.e. they've chucked each other)

The attack happened on May 27 last year at his ex's home.
When Russell later admitted the offence the court heard that the couple had been out socialising the night before the incident. But when Russell, 40, turned up at the house the following morning an argument broke out. Mrs Russell had been very drunk, according to his defence, and had created the vomit herself. (talented lass that one)

Russell immediately regretted pouring the vomit over her. (Probably got some on his own clothes)

The case was deferred for six months and he was told that if he behaved himself he would have nothing to worry about. (Mrs Russell was less happy as she wondered what he might do for Round No.2. Apparently she has been creatively pooping herself at the thought)

Sheriff Kenneth Stewart said he would normally have imposed a fine, but that would have affected Russell's three children of whom he has custody. (Brings a lump to your throat)

Finally, I hate to regurgitate a point made earlier, but I have it on good authority that Mrs Russell had a few lumps on her head.........

Official Disclaimer: Domestic Abuse is never a joke.

p.s. Feel free to spew forth some comments.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

It's a jumble out there

No, I didn't mix up my words. CNN report that this unlikely friendship has blossomed in Indonesia.

Just goes to show that sometimes the young ones can teach us older ones a thing or two about unconditional love and mutual respect.

Or it could be the tigers are mixed up Veggies like this lot!