Being a toonser polisman, I dinna get an affa lot o' time tae deal wi' the teuchters o' oor Force area.
Ha'en read aboot fit yon German Polis, in er ain coontryside, hae tae deal wi' I'm fair chuffed I dinna hae their experiences.
Aye, an fit aboot a' yon resources they had tae throw at 'is jobbie en 'a?
The jobbie here in Toytoon his enough sharn fer my likin'.
Onywiy, fa said Germans dinna hae a sense o' humour?
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved".
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the British and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.
Up in these pairts we know what to do with Terrorists......
© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Regular readers will know that I have a thing about Pink, but I am somewhat flabbergasted by the latest thinking from our colleagues in Thailand. Somehow, I don't think this will be our cup of tea, although I know others do have a fondness for pink. Go over to Claire's site for a little more detail.
However, I do think there could be a use for it up these parts for a certain Scottish Chief Constable.
While I'm on the subject, I see that TUPC has been busy making the countryside fluffy and pink.
Finally, I would like to think that the feminine branch of the Polis might like to check this out. Worked for me!
© Miss Pink Cat
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Black in Blue aka Twining has posted a real teaser and follow up post in respect of a local council employee and his ...... well let's be honest ...... racist abuse of a Rastafarian. (Loved the spell check on that one - offered me Rotarian!)
Why are we bothering if such a blatant case doesn't go to court?
If I was from a minority..... hang on I'm a drunken kilted caber tossing Jock ..... I would be pressing hard for this decision to be reversed PDQ. It's a travesty. Go comment on his site if you will and let's hear those voices.
Toy Towners™ come in all sizes, shapes and colours and are equally desirable as can be seen from Big Ears' mates.
© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times
This amused me and it should amuse the thin blue line.
Less amusing was the collection of mop's comments that me and my colleagues should be out catching murderers etc.
Do they not know we have no discretion these days?
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
OK, but isn't this what Doctors are supposed to do. Mean that, keeping the poor man alive.
.... and by the way this man would get my vote. I nearly fell off my chair when I read it.
Paul Martin, Labour's justice spokesman, commenting said: "So many times, people seem to be more interested in the civil liberties of the individual rather than those of the majority. There were hundreds of people at the airport that day, what about their civil liberties?"
Now that really is a shock.
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Some things never change.
That's me completed my first nightshift back at work after my leave. Spent two nights chained to a desk writing up cases and statements that were deemed 'late' due to my absence. Don't other people have holidays?
Managed an obligatory 'domestic' custody and a few other minor matters in an otherwise blessedly quiet four days. Gazza, are you taking note?
Best call of the week was to the wonderfully Council monickered 'Garden Estate' of Toy Town™, where apparently there was a flower plucker on the rampage. Having asked the dispatcher to confirm just what he had just said hoping for a spoonerism and failing to catch him out, but at least lightening the mood of my colleagues, we sped to the herbaceous bountifulness of the southside sink to travel down the only road where not even a pot plant (and you can take that any way you like!) was to be seen. Obviously this street was the patio and slab area of the garden estate!
Never did find the flower plucker either.
Well off to enjoy the last of my 7 weekends off on the trot by cutting the grass, given that it's the first dry day for weeks and Big Ears keeps telling me it's like a jungle out there.
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Glasgow Airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".
Apparently it was taxed, insured and the radio was still in it.
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
I posted earlier about recent research into the most stressful occupations.
The Poll is now closed and the results can be obtained by clicking the previous hyperlink.
As suspected there were a couple of folk who couldn't resist checking the answer out and swicking, either that or someone reads this whilst working as a Librarian and knew the answer first hand.
n.b. Due to a technical hitch, the winners of the competition for giving the correct answer have not been properly identified and we have given the prize to a valued member of the production staff. Big Ears says he is most grateful for the new gloves, what with the Arctic temperatures outside in Toytown.
The responses received were predictable given that this is a site Polis visit, but there were surprisingly low votes for the other categories and the 'real answer' scored lowest.
You know being a Librarian is also a dangerous job.
Good grief, my sarcastic tone is awfully like someone else I could mention.
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Polis - "Can you describe the thief?
Staff - "They all look the same to me. He just flew off."
Polis - "Oh well at least it's on CCTV, maybe someone will be able to identify the culprit so there's nothing to get in a flap about. We'll soon have the shoplifter up before the beak and doing some bird."
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
All I'm going to say about this article is - oh heck no - I have a lot to say about this article.
I will quote from his lengthy rambling article;
"I've just been invited to the Mini Clubman launch in September and it's going to be staged in a location that I can only describe as bizarre and inappropriate &chilly, uninviting, out on a limb Aberdeen, Scotland of all places." (Good grammar by the way).
Mr Rutherford;
I have posted before about the use of beasties in the ongoing tit-for-tat that is the war against terrorism and plainly the Brits have got in first again over there in the middle-east, this time utilising Badgers.
However, the Beeb reports that in typical Brit style 'we' have denied any knowledge.
© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times
I designed my own test and here is the additional result:
Wired to the Moon - 100%
Enough, you know too much about me already!
© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times
Three newspaper articles got me thinking about how we view terrorists in this country.
First off there was the report in the Grauniad fearing that the newly convicted 21/7 bombers will radicalise other prison inmates, which kind of suggests the next report from the Daily Mail, where one of their lawyers believes terror fanatics should have prisoner of war status is a non-starter. Amazing proposal really, because it would fully justify the USA's vindication of Gitmo and we all know that terrorists like to play by the rules.
Lastly, and my favourite is a piece in the Grauniad again which suggests making fun out of the situation is healthy. Now I would have to agree, wouldn't I?
© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times
A decidedly Scottish angle to today's first post courtesy of the Beeb.
Now no Scot would ever think of a resident of the nation's capital as being snotty, snooty perhaps.
Up our way we have a lot of clever people with SW07 and Dundee has an acne problem with SP07. The weegies have the oh so original SC07 and the more appropriate SH07.
I also think the staff at the DVLA in Swansea are having a chuckle at Cardiff's expense what with the allocation of CL07!
© SC07COP
Published by Toy Town™ Times
I actually thought it was the 1st April when I read this report from Sky News.
My good friend Foamy will have something to say about this I'm sure.
I know that there is deep mistrust between the West and the Iranians these days, but I have to say I think this is a tale too far.
Expect Al Quaida trained futret suicide squads to strike back. You have been warned.
n.b. Foamy can be a bit 'naughty'!
© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times
As promised - Part Two of the anecdote.
Basically, I aim to show that there are many ways to skin a cat.
Well, it turns out that the stripey had the 'real' story, the problem being that the hard stand the chopper was now chewing up with its rotors was located in front and off to the side of the public entrance to the terminal and surrounded by car parking areas. When the chopper had tipped over the blades shot off alarmingly slicing into about a dozen cars and the frontage of the terminal building.
This was very quickly established by the first unit attending as they were not airside at the RVP, where they would have had no view of the incident given that it is the other side of the runway and airport. A quick check to see no-one was injured and then brief contact with some shaky airport staff, customers and car owners and suddenly the decision is made for all and sundry to go to the RVP as it is now a declared 'ground incident'. Puzzled onlookers ponder the disappearance en masse of all the blues and twos.
Anyhow it all resolves itself and the Polis slowly return to the terminal to chat to the staff and car owners about their damaged vehicles. Matter closed. Or so you might think.
Well not quite. Pondering the scenarios, those blessed with retrospective 20-20 vision decided to pick the bones of the incident and criticise the Polis for sending abidy to the terminal area for an aircraft incident and decide Noddy is to be blamed for not activating the correct procedure and not sending them to the RVP. Bloody marvellous. I must remember to dust off my crystal ball. I patiently explained the circumstances that being that at no time during the initial call and my interrogation of the caller and airport authorities did they mention something happening within the confines of the airport termed as airside. Therefore the incident had to be responded to as if it was at any similar public place and you 'go see', however much that puts you near to danger. After all that's our job isn't it to protect life and property? Apparently this didn't wash well with the far-sighted one's who decreed that any such incident should have been responded to by use of an action plan which RVP'd the response. I cannot see how that made sense even today.
Me angry?
Picture Glesga now. All the blues and two's somewhere over the other side of the airport waiting for the 'Smeatonator' and the general public to banjo the perpetrators before they turn up, eventually, once everybody gets the picture nice and clear. Sometimes you have to react to what you see and wing it. Best laid plans and all that......
© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times
What with all the palaver at Glesga Airport, I thought you might be interested in a true anecdote from my Control Room daze.
Another Constable has posted about Full Emergencies etc. and Bloggshe has posted on SOPs. At the time of the incident I wish to retell we had 'Action Plans'. Basically, once you had decided what type of major incident it was, you selected an Action Plan and 'hey presto' the computer system attached a number of idiot-proof tasks for you to complete, including all the vital ones where you tell this gaffer and that gaffer all about what has happened and they are supposed to do what they have to do.
After the latest incident, where the co-ordination and pre-planning of the emergency services et al was praised for dealing smoothly and efficiently with the matter and its aftermath, although I rather suspect 'we' rather winged it, my own wee tale shows just how things can be different and not so simple. Having said that, three points spring to mind;
