Time to get bizzy, apparently.

Personally, I thought I had been, but it seems I need to address some learning points.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wiki'd

I can assure my readers I do not have any helpers expurgating MY Wikipedia page.

However, a certain Sir, masquerading as Big Ears, ain't so laissez-faire.

Well at least he is in good company.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Desperate Dan and Little Richard

What a sucker.

It's amazing what some people will do to entertain, but then I should be careful not to be seen as belittling vertically impaired minorities otherwise I might get a row from my buddy.

Small wonder he came to a sticky end. Oh to have been in the A&E that night!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

We Come One

Black in Blue aka Twining has posted a real teaser and follow up post in respect of a local council employee and his ...... well let's be honest ...... racist abuse of a Rastafarian. (Loved the spell check on that one - offered me Rotarian!)

Why are we bothering if such a blatant case doesn't go to court?

If I was from a minority..... hang on I'm a drunken kilted caber tossing Jock ..... I would be pressing hard for this decision to be reversed PDQ. It's a travesty. Go comment on his site if you will and let's hear those voices.

Toy Towners™ come in all sizes, shapes and colours and are equally desirable as can be seen from Big Ears' mates.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Garden Patrol Over

Some things never change.

That's me completed my first nightshift back at work after my leave. Spent two nights chained to a desk writing up cases and statements that were deemed 'late' due to my absence. Don't other people have holidays?

Managed an obligatory 'domestic' custody and a few other minor matters in an otherwise blessedly quiet four days. Gazza, are you taking note?

Best call of the week was to the wonderfully Council monickered 'Garden Estate' of Toy Town™, where apparently there was a flower plucker on the rampage. Having asked the dispatcher to confirm just what he had just said hoping for a spoonerism and failing to catch him out, but at least lightening the mood of my colleagues, we sped to the herbaceous bountifulness of the southside sink to travel down the only road where not even a pot plant (and you can take that any way you like!) was to be seen. Obviously this street was the patio and slab area of the garden estate!

Never did find the flower plucker either.

Well off to enjoy the last of my 7 weekends off on the trot by cutting the grass, given that it's the first dry day for weeks and Big Ears keeps telling me it's like a jungle out there.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Silence, Please - The Result.

I posted earlier about recent research into the most stressful occupations.

The Poll is now closed and the results can be obtained by clicking the previous hyperlink.

As suspected there were a couple of folk who couldn't resist checking the answer out and swicking, either that or someone reads this whilst working as a Librarian and knew the answer first hand.

n.b. Due to a technical hitch, the winners of the competition for giving the correct answer have not been properly identified and we have given the prize to a valued member of the production staff. Big Ears says he is most grateful for the new gloves, what with the Arctic temperatures outside in Toytown.

The responses received were predictable given that this is a site Polis visit, but there were surprisingly low votes for the other categories and the 'real answer' scored lowest.

You know being a Librarian is also a dangerous job.

Good grief, my sarcastic tone is awfully like someone else I could mention.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Special Branch Turn?

Fit like abidy?

Large Lugs here in from the garden with another of my occasional wise observations.

I nearly weed myself reading this report from Sky News.

Barking. Completely barking!

I'm stumped at how stupid some of you humans can be sometimes. Anyway, it was good to see that the dyed money nipped the problem in the bud so to speak.

I think he should get the birch.

What a prune.

© Big Ears
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Making a Titchmarsh of yourself

Fit like abidy? Large Lugs here with one of my occasional wise observations.

I was just popping in from the garden when I caught a glimpse of Saving Planet Earth on the Beeb.

Anyone else find it ironic that in the middle of a park* we find Mr Titchmarsh sat upon a leather armchair?

I know cows aren't especially endangered (in danger perhaps), but given the general gist of the programme, isn't that a little insensitive?

* - Scots for field.

© Big Ears
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Big Ears reports

Hello Toytown readers, it's me Large Lugs 'ere to update you on all that has been going on in the gardens of Scotland of late.

Firstly, I would like to say how delighted I was with this piece of Sterling Police work (geddit?). Personally, I think that the sentence did not reflect the mass kidnapping that went on.

Secondly, I had to comment on this. I think he would have been better off trying this tack rather than spouting the usual shoot yourself in the foot nonsense that those convicted of racist incidents come out with such as, "I am not even racist - I attend an international church where 30% of the congregation are coloured." Oops. I think he said a bad word.

Finally, my dear friend Mr Weed at the Gnome Office has been doing a bit of reorganisation and he tells me there will be a bit more Justice. Noddy tells me that is what he puts in his whisky.

Sound Intelligence

"What's all this hear then?"

Not only has CCTV taken its place as extra eyes on the street when along comes this idea from the Netherlands to be the ears as well.

It's just as well that these gizmos will have to be complimentary tools for the moment as no-one has invented a machine able to arrest ne-er do wells and report them - yet!

This video is in Dutch, but you'll get the idea if you read the linked articles above.

p.s. My Toytown friend threatened to hoof me in the nether region if I gave this post my first choice title!