Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Local Hero

A timely email is doing the rounds - it goes something like this:

Glasgow v America

If this had happened at a US airport as compared to Glasgow would these be some of the Eyewitness accounts?

America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life. I thought I was gonna die, he got so close to me."

Glasgow: "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him."

America: "I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a feckin' plane!"

America: "There was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was hapening, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Feck this fir a kerry oan, maun, we'll get a pint in."

America: "We thought he was gonna blow us all up. He had a gas canister and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran for my life."

Glasgow: "A swaggered by the motor that wis on fire and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis 'n fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws."

America: "There was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis like that."

America: "I'm too traumatised even to speak, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it."

& finally, two genuine quotes from a real eye-witness aka John Smeaton.

  1. ITV news. The interviewer asked, "What message do you have for the bombers?" Smeaton replied, "This is Glasgow, we'll just set about you."
  2. CNN. The interviewer asked, "How did you restrain the guy?" Smeaton replied, "Me and other folk were just tryin tae get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him."
Jock Public gaun yersel! No jumping up and down up here.

Pure class so it is, by the way.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

1 comment:

Whichendbites said...

Fair play.