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Posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Who is the Nanny?


For a wee while now I have been occasionally bleeterin' on about certain ales.

I am fair chuffed with this response from a local micro-brewery.

Which leads nicely onto this nonsense.

I recall a time when a certain 'co-operative' consisting of a Copper, a Nurse, a G.P. and a Social Worker helped each other out with childcare. Funnily enough, despite all that, all the weans appear to be well-adjusted.

p.s. Hat tip to the Loon for both links.


p.p.s. An Update.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Bullet Proof Policing


Sorry, but this doesn't look like it to me.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Jox Vox - Vol. 3


Time for a skirl fae the loon o'er the happenings up in yon pairts.

First off there's little 'n' large. Go on guess which one interests me more? Staying on topic, this is just plain daft. Where on earth are you going to get a Scotsman to pay 10K for a comparatively wee bottle? As it happens, Glenfiddich is one of the few drams I would turn down anyway. Not for me, even if I had a hotline to Derren Brown. However, this does interest me.

Meanwhile a local brewery has a novel approach to helping tackle the country's binge-drinking culture.

Linking on the theme of alcohol, I liked this crumbly's honesty.

Conversely, as an antedote, the following story jumped out at me and in my best Sun headline mode I decided on: Little Toads!

Apparently, Sir Terry Wogan has said, "I can't go back to Toy Town
™." As folk up here would say, "You big Jessie."

It's now official, a heap of money has been lost in translation. Teaching English is not going to help when our visitors are confronted with the Doric!

..... and finally a word or two about our apparently shrinking ovine friends.

I started off this post whining about being fleeced, but there is only one winner in that category, especially as our roasting hot summer has done for a predecessor.

Dun.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Different Thinking


I bump my gums periodically about all things related to Autism.

For a while I've been following Gary McKinnon's plight, so much so that I've started a sidebar widget just for him, so check it out.

I weep at the ignorance and intolerance in society, but I rejoice at the likes of this individual.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Viewpoints


The little world of Toytowner's most 'famous' inhabitant has been in upheaval and continues to be so. As such I've had little time to update the blog, but here goes with some catch up.

This decision passed with a worldwide whisper once again!

It seems Mrs 'T' was not always a Unionist - well we knew that this side of our border!

I found this article from the Beeb professionally amusing if only for the completely non-diverse nature of the report. Easy now, having a dig at Poles and the Irish all in one article - naughty Auntie.

Some folk will make any excuse for taking a dram.

Certain constituents know just where they are not going to put their 'Y' at the next election.

The nanny state continues unabated with such classics (sic) as this. Keeping on the food tack, this is genuinely more worrying, if of no great surprise.

Equally I worried a bit about the degeneration in what used to be the pillars of society when I read this blurb. Role models? Perhaps they should look no further than the impressive Eddie Izzard.

Finally, for all acrophobics out there this made me wibble and wobble.

© Nod
dy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Sorry, say that again.


The trouble with going on holiday to the barren wetlands is that you miss some press cuttings.

Having said that, this did not come as NEWS to me.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Sticky End?


... and here's a tip for all Ecomentalists (to quote Clarkson).

Dried treacle, clothes and body hair form a tough bond, especially when the Polis try to search you!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

9.9.9.


Big night ahead and guess who is late shift?

Nuff said.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, September 04, 2009

Drookit


Intelligence received on 04/09/2009 provides that some 'motorists' think they are invincible.

Despite the presence of the Polis at this flash flood, some 'drivers' still decided they could forge on through the sypit streets.

Oops!

Fireman Sam was busy rescuing them all over the place.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Toytown Tartanistas


Apparently Richard Littlejohn (sic) doesn't agree with the tone of my previous post.

I quote from the Daily Wail
(with comments from me appended thus);

"Gordon Brown's yellow streak is the width of the Yangtze river

Two years ago, almost to the day, a sheep sneezed in Scotland. Twenty minutes later, Gordon Brown was on every television channel in full Commander-in-Chief mode.

He was going to be tough on sheep and tough on the causes of sheep (Gadget's got that in hand). We could sleep soundly in our beds.

The next day, it rained. Pausing only to discard his knotted hanky and off-duty Harris Tweed beach jacket, Gordon helicoptered back to London to convene an emergency meeting of Cobra in a bunker deep under Downing Street. Holidays are for wimps.

And lo, it came to pass, the flood waters subsided. Not since Moses had there been a more crucial intervention.

The BBC and the boys in the bubble went wild, hurling their knickers on stage. How lucky we were to be led by a man of such towering, Churchillian greatness.

No more lies, no more evasion, no more spin, no more stunts. Just firm, decisive action. Not Flash, just Gordon.

In those heady days of summer 2007, no crisis was too small to warrant the personal attention of the new Prime Minister.

If you'd found a spider in your bath, one phone call to Downing Street and Gordon would be there with his big clunking fist, Sky News crew in hot pursuit.

Two years on and it's a different story. The father of the nation has done his trademark disappearing act.

While the civilised (?) world recoils in disgust from the early release of the only man convicted of the worst ever terrorist atrocity on British soil, Gordon is nowhere to be found.

As Toytown Tartanistas strut the stage, the Prime Minister is hiding behind the sofa.

The man who wrote a letter of condolence after John Terry missed a penalty (Now, you really are winding me up), and found the time to ring Piers Morgan to inquire about the mental health of a contestant on a television freak show, apparently has no opinion whatsoever on the greatest single rift between Britain and the United States of America since the Boston Tea Party. (Being a tad late showing up for WW1 and WW2 might rank a wee bit higher).

His new best friend, President Obama, is spitting feathers. He has interrupted his own vacation on Martha's Vineyard to condemn this outrageous affront to justice.

But the man ultimately responsible for this humiliating debacle is remaining resolutely schtum.

We used to have a labrador who behaved like Gordon. Whenever he broke wind, he'd look away in the misguided belief that if he couldn't see you, you couldn't see him and the source of the foul smell enveloping the living room would remain a mystery.

Be in no doubt that despite his desperation to pass the buck, Gordon Brown is up to his neck in the decision to release the Lockerbie bomber.

Six weeks ago, he wrote a 'Dear Muammar' letter to the Libyan leader asking him not to make a song and dance about the homecoming of Abdelbaset Ali Mohamed Al Megrahi and wishing him a Happy Ramadan.

Gordon was perfectly well aware that the falafel was about to hit the fan. Megrahi's release had formed an integral part of every recent trade and diplomatic negotiation with Gaddafi.

Little Alex Salmond may be basking in vainglorious mischief, but the daisy chain of duplicity and deceit leads right back to Downing Street and the treacherous triumvirate of Brown, Blair and Mandelson.

Salmond is a bit-part player in this dark farce, the political equivalent of Ally MacLeod, the football manager who led Scotland to hilarious ignominy in the 1978 World Cup. (At least we were there!)

Six weeks ago, Gordon Brown wrote to Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi asking for a low-key response to Megrahi's homecoming.

When I watched the Saltire being waved alongside the Libyan flag as Megrahi arrived back on home soil, I was reminded of the victory parade MacLeod staged in front of 25,000 delirious fans at Hampden Park before his squad had even boarded the plane to Argentina:

We're on the road with Alex's army, We're all going to Tripoli!

In the event, Scotland were stuffed by Peru, just as Salmond has been kippered by Libya, whatever he might kid himself.

The subplots swirling around this squalid affair, such as whether or not Megrahi is actually guilty, are all academic.

Of course he wasn't the mastermind, any more than the bloke who bought the rucksacks for the London Transport bombers was their Mr Big. But he was convicted in a British court of law
(Wrong again - Scottish Court under Scots Law sitting in Holland) and, cancer or no cancer, letting him out after eight years is, as Mandelson would say, 'offensive' to those who died and their families.

None of this is of any consequence to the main actors in this demeaning, disgusting drama. They live in their own squalid soap opera, while the rest of us can for now only either watch with horror or avert our eyes.

In their amoral universe, there is little difference between theatrically letting Jade Goody's boyfriend out of prison for his stag night and freeing a convicted terrorist involved in the murder of 270 innocent civilians.

It's all a game to these cynics. Surely, say the sophisticates, Gordon wouldn't have gone along with this simply because he thought it would damage the SNP at the next General Election.

That's precisely why he would have gone along with it. Every decision he ever takes is predicated upon what it can do for him personally and how much damage it will inflict on his political opponents. And to hell with the consequences.

Despite the preening world statesman posturing, Gordon is as much of a petty, point-scoring, partisan pygmy as the puffed-up playground posers in the SNP. (An abundance of aimless and absurd alliteration).

His stony silence is almost eloquent, serving both to insult our intelligence and remind us of the yellow streak the width of the Yangtze which passes for his backbone.

Imagine how this looks from the American end of the kaleidoscope. They had asked for Megrahi to be tried in Scotland because they believed in British (?) justice. Now they've discovered what a sick joke modern British justice (Scots Law is ancient - muppet) really is.

And consider what our front-line soldiers, many from Scottish regiments and sent to risk their lives fighting terrorism alongside the Americans in Afghanistan, must make of this shameful decision to show 'compassion' to a man convicted of this country's worst-ever terrorist attack.

Makes you proud to be British."


Want my opinion Dick?

Hate is an inevitably unrewarding state of mind......

....and frankly the decision based purely on OUR law, and not transitory but understandable feelings, made me proud to be Scottish.

p.s.

He missed out on mentioning, during his bizarre anti everything Scottish rant, the 6th greatest goal of all time.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, August 24, 2009

Compassion


In all the hoo-hah about the Lockerbie Bomber I refer you to this article, which I suggest says it all, well almost, 'cos I have a couple of points to make.

Firstly, surely the decision to release Megrahi shows that 'we' have an understanding of compassion, which is more than can be said for him and those who undoubtedly masterminded his evil deed.

Secondly, as the much maligned MacAskill should have said, Megrahi has a higher power to face on his soon to be judgement day, rather than a punishment that had been meted out on him in the way of Cancer. I'm definitely uneasy with this view of the supernatural bestowing upon a ne'er do well this hideous disease and the bitter taste this will have upon other Cancer sufferers and those who have had beloved ones fall to it.

Finally, my thoughts are with those who died on the day and their families and friends.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

If you feel your life is in a rut.....


.....things could be worse!

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, July 17, 2009

Phoenix


Fit like abidy?


A pucklie o' folk hae noticed that yon loon his nae bin postin syne a whiley.

Sum hiv even bin emailin the loon affa concerned for his wellbeing.

It's affa hertnin ta ken yon folk are wundrin fit's a dae wi the loon.


A hannae been nobbled rest assured.
Weel that's wis aywiz aricht be'en as I'd bin intae hae ma bell rung a guid whiley syne.

So 'en fit's kept me away fae yon blogging.

To be honest a dah ken, but things round these pairts hae bin busy wi' daen naithin special really, but yon blog juices hid bin running dry and ither things hid bin mair important.


Onywiy, A'm sure you're a' champin at the bit tae ken fit the wee photee is a' aboot. Weel 'at's far the Toytowners are aff tae this weekend for their hols and to chill off. Nae doot it'll be drookit o'er on yon west coast, bit there's iywiz the uisge beatha and the leann!

MAIR CHILL.......




Fan the Toytowners get back, there will be plenty for Noddy & Mr Plod to bleeter on aboot. It will be like a feast eftir a famine. A proverbial Phoenix...




And as a wee teaser I'll tell ye a' aboot fit A've bin up to. Here's een clue fit A wis daen fan een o' they bunch of colonials were celebratin' some kind o' Independence Day...

As a certain Mr Frey said, "We were around when the Dead Sea was just sick."

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, May 21, 2009

School's out


There are some obvious reasons why Toy Town's Cooncil are somewhat penniless.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Come over here and say that!


Not content with moving Scotland into England, the Yanks are now desecrating our national dress (sic).

Hat Tip to Frank Chalk.

Some Yanks are on the ball, so to speak!

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, May 18, 2009

Defenceless


A few days ago I received an email update from the Burma Campaign as follows:

Dear friend

We are deeply worried by the news that Aung San Suu Kyi is to face trial on Monday. Aung San Suu Kyi was arrested yesterday and is now being held in Insein Prison, a prison notorious for its terrible conditions and horrific treatment of prisoners. Political prisoners in Burma are routinely subjected to torture and often denied medical treatment. We are very concerned for Aung San Suu Kyi’s health in these conditions, particularly as she was seriously ill last week, but denied medical care by the regime.

Aung San Suu Kyi will face trial for supposedly violating the terms of her house arrest, after an American man swam uninvited to her house and refused to leave. She faces a prison sentence of between three and five years.

Now more than ever Aung San Suu Kyi needs our help. Over the past 24 hours politicians, and celebrities across the world have demanded her release. Over 8,000 of our supporters have emailed UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and ASEAN leaders calling for immediate action to secure the release of Aung San Suu Kyi.

TWO ACTIONS FOR AUNG SAN SUU KYI

DEMONSTRATE

On Monday 18th May, there will be a global day of action for Aung San Suu Kyi. We will hold a demonstration between 12 and 1pm in front of the Burmese Embassy in London to demand the release of Aung San Suu Kyi and all of Burma’s political prisoners. Please come and show your support. Find out more here. If you are not in the UK, contact your local Burma Campaign here. (Just don't berate the poor Bobbies there to keep the peace - some of us do support the cause ~ ed.)

SUPPORT OUR WORK

If you can’t join the demonstration, then please help us at this crucial time by making a donation. Supporting us is one of the most effective ways of supporting the struggle to free Burma. You can donate online here.

Aung San Suu Kyi has been detained for more than 13 years just for peacefully calling for freedom and democracy. She urgently needs our help or she faces spending the rest of her life in prison.

Please make a donation today to support our important work.
Thank you for your continued support.

Anna Roberts
Director
Burma Campaign UK

Today, apparently an
undercover BBC correspondent in Myanmar has reported that, "People here are very angry."

Angry?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Facebook is racist


Vaguely nationalistic Scottish users of Facebook have long been annoyed that there is no location option for Scottish towns and cities to be identified as in Scotland rather than the United Kingdom.

Unionists will have been OK with that, but Facebook have caused a right stooshie in God's own country as now any Scottish (and I'm led to believe Welsh) city or town is now listed as being in England.

Our American cousins often mistakenly call Great Britain, England, so it is to be expected.......

......... or has Gordon Broon (far are ye fae loon?) sold us off to the south to pay for Westminster's bathplugs and swimming pool repairs?

© MacNoddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Poor Pieman


Only a Dundonian could complain aboot the cost of pehs.

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Priorities?


This has nothing to do with Top Ten crimes etc, but reveals the wonderful world of Karen Matthews' thought processes.

Isn't it heart-warming to know she's loved up again.


© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times