Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Dog Tired

For fawkes sake would you bipeds give it a rest!

My dear friend, who resides with Noddy and his clan, has been having a hard time of it lately.

Firstly, due to some mistaken belief that back in the mists of time OUR nation was saved from disaster at the hands of a bunch of left footers with some explosive ideas, the last weekend has been torture for us hounds.

Here is some canine advice for you bipeds, especially hereabouts:

  1. Guy was bombing about well before the union of parliaments. This is an ENGLISH matter.
  2. The date is the 5th of November. It's not the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 9th - delete as required. I mean the ditty wouldn't sound quite right would it, "Remember, remember, the (enter date(s) as required - see point 3), gunpowder, treason and plot."
  3. Keep it to the 5th you muppets. OK, so a Monday ain't so convenient what with work and all that. I mean Guy what were you thinking of? Especially when you can set off your rockets, squibs, catherine wheels etc. on a Friday/Saturday/Sunday night to the accompaniment of numerous cans of Tennents, bottles of Buckie and Tesco's own vodka. Wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to mix explosives with alcohol would you. Why not move Christmas to the first day with snow, just so you can all sing like Bing.
Anyway, back to my Pal. She's of a nervous disposition and what with the extended lack of consideration and knowledge of Scottish history shown the last few days, she was in such a state, a visit to the vets was required.

Turns out it wasn't just the extended festivities that had had her cowering behind the settee like Noddy used to when the Daleks were exterminating some extra on TV. It appears she also has a phantom pregnancy.

Any more of this malarky from you humans and the poor bitch will have a phantom miscarriage.

It's nae real.

© Bumpy Dog
Published by Toy Town™ Times


dickiebo said...

I still say, 'No cigar for dawgs!'

Annette said...

Oh noddy, I remember that picture of your lovely dog. It was named
'the tongue' !! It is funny.
I totally agree with you about fireworks, they are going off right now.
Bloody things.I don't know about dogs but I hate them.
We once had a dog, she was a cross alsation/collie and she was petrified of fireworks.As soon as she heard them she would hide under a table or even try to sit on your lap.Which is a bit difficult being she was a large alsation.She would not go out into the garden.
This happened year after year and finally we took her to the vet and she gave her some valium!!!
They calmed her down but she still wasn't happy for a good week after firework night.
We've lost her now but I often wonder if there is another way of calming your dog down. It's the noise they don't like, isn't it?