Back to work

Well that's me home from my first shift back at work.

Things that haven't changed:

1. First call allocated 10 minutes before start of official duty.
2. IT had prevented me accessing computer as I had been away for over a month. Eventually got response from helpdesk 1 minute before aforementioned call allocated.
3. Couldn't find a car. Borrowed Sergeant's.
4. 10 minutes refreshment break in 10 hour shift eventually snatched after 7 hours duty.
   
5. 88 emails in my inbox of which 90% were destined for deletion and eventually read on return to station some 5 hours after commencing duty.
   

But on the positive side things that have changed included:

1. Plenty of water in stock for water dispenser.
2. Air conditioner installed in Muster Room

The joys of Response policing.

New uniform needed

What with record temperatures on Monday for Aberdeen (and I can say it was warmer here inland) and a car thermometer recorded 31c (88f) at Burn o'Vat (nr Ballater) on Thursday, I for one am not bothered if the summers get better and better due to that global warming rumour, but having seen one of my colleagues perspiring, nae expiring, on the main street in Ballater on Thursday as he dealt with the sudden influx of townies escaping the haar, it got me thinking of my next subject report I will need to submit to my gaffers on my return to work on Thursday (82f forecast by the way).

Sir,

I have to report that there is a need for a new summer uniform. It is acknowledged that the death of the collar and tie in favour of the lightweight top thingy is more comfortable in the present weather conditions, but can consideration be given to the issue of designer shorts, RayBans, steel toe-capped sandals and air-conditioned body armour?

And do we still need to wear hats?

PC Betty Swallocks

Mull & Iona

Wow!

Over the years I have managed to 'Island Bag' most of the major Hebrides e.g. Lewis, Harris, North Uist, Benbecula, South Uist, Barra, Vatersay (before the causeway!) Skye, Islay, Bute, Arran, but had omitted the Isle of Mull under the false impression that it was just a tourist haunt typified by the pastel painted village of Tobermory and more recently the CBeebies Balamory kids TV series.

What a serious mistake, but not one that I fully realised till the trip back on the ferry from Craignure to Oban.

We caught the ferry to Craignure and viewed the panoply of the high mountains of the west coast from Ben Nevis, the Mamores and Glencoe down to Ben Cruachan in sunlit splendour to the far east, the hills of Ardnamurchan to the nearer east and Mull's hills and only Munro (Ben More) to the west. The attached photo shows Ben More, Castle Duart and some lucky so and so's on a pair of yachts as we approached Craignure.

Once on Mull, most folk seemed to head off north to Tobermory. Silly people. As they say...'Go West young man'. We did and headed off through the spectacular glacial valleys towards the Ross of Mull, Fionnphort and the isle of Iona. If you've done this journey then you will know what I mean when I say the scenery is unsurpassed.... deserted glens, towering sea cliffs and a geomorphologist's heaven. The single-track road was quiet and a real driver's delight, given that the 40 odd miles to Fionnphort passed in as many minutes. Yeehah! I wish we had had more time to try the road back via Salen (see map), but that's for another time and there WILL be another time!

We got the passenger ferry across to Iona (you don't need a car to discover this Island) and traipsed about the Abbey, Nunnery and village in glorious sunshine. What a place... total chill. St Columba knew a good place when he decided to build his abbey there and not just because he couldn't see his homeland Ireland. The abbey is particularly stunning and along with most of the folk there I was genuinely taken aback by what you see within. I won't spoil it for you, if you've not been, by telling you what's within, but it does surprise you.

The yoofs were less impressed and wanted us to get the first available ferry back, which crosses frequently (as the timetable literally suggested probably to save ink), but we adults let a few crossings pass before heading back to the cars at Fionnphort.

We hurtled slightly more slowly back to Craignure, had a pleasant pint in the pub and caught the ferry back in the evening sunset, when the views were, if anything, more spectacular than those arriving.

So if you are 'mulling' over a place to visit.....

Ahhhhhrgyll

So to Saturday and we cross country westwards via Lochearnhead, Crianlarich, Tyndrum and Taynuilt to 20 miles south of Oban to a cottage called East Kames.


On arrival I am eaten alive by the dreaded midgies and hastily beat a retreat to Oban once the bags were unpacked. Our co-tenants weren't due to arrive till later, so we poked about in Oban for a while. Meanwhile weather improves and, on return to cottage, the midges have obviously overdosed on human blood (mainly mine) and are off annoying sheep in field next to cottage (or as others suggested flown off to get their mates given that my blood seems to be a particular delicacy for the Culicoides Impunctatus.) I am glad to say they did not return till the last night of our stay.

p.s. Best skin applied repellant for midges is Skin so Soft by Avon ..... and this is not a wind up believe me. Click here for other devotees, and if you think it sounds a little ....well girly ..... then I can tell you the hard men of the SAS swear (profusely no doubt) by it.

10 of us stayed at the cottage (and 2 dugs) and its location was idyllic, as can be seen from the view above from the garden.

We visited a number of local sights, go karted, some went horseriding, ate well and kept ourselves well hydrated. The weather was average at the start of the week, but by the end of the week it was truly gorgeous. I only put my rain jacket on once and never needed a jumper.

We made an excursion to Mull and Iona on the Thursday and I will save a blog for that alone...the highlight of the holiday for me and all the other adults.

On the Friday we celebrated Mary's birthday and Peter and Mary's wedding anniversary (Paul didn't make the trip - sic). Mary, Peter, Elaine and I had our best lunch of the holidays at the pink, but otherwise unprepossessing Anchor Inn in Tarbert, Loch Fyne. The food was advertised as award winning and it certainly lived up to the reputation. I suspect an evening meal there would be a winner. The weather by then was scorching, so it was a leisurely 90 minutes in the sun outside, on the only 4 chairs they had, for us. Later there was a surprise party for the two of them and a send off for us all on our last night.

On the trip back we stopped of at the wonderful Ballachullish Hotel for lunch and sat outside stunned by the views and the sunshine. We then set off for Fort William to do some shopping, but the sun had got to she who must be obeyed and she realised she had left her little backpack at the hotel, so back we went. I made the decision that given the weather and the passage of time, that once reunited with the bag, we should travel back via Glencoe. One of my better decisions as it was glorious and boiling hot as we made a comfort stop at Tyndrum, enjoyed an ice cream and lay out in the sun again. It is at times like this that you are truly in awe of Scotland's landscape and glad you couldn't thole a trip abroad.

Junior was less impressed and just wanted to get home to civilisation (i.e. Sky TV, Internet, Subway sannies and his m8s) and told us repeatedly, so off we hurtled to the flatlands of Aberdeenshire!

Now...... Mull and Iona.

Up the Trossachs

For the first 3 days of our holiday we set off for the Trossachs, an area of Scotland I have skirted, but never really visited. What a mistake that had been.

We journeyed down via Perth, Crieff and Comrie to St. Fillans at the eastern end of Loch Earn and stayed in a lochside chalet set in woods beside the Four Season's Hotel. It was unseasonably warm at about 85 fahrenheit on arrival and stayed warm throughout our stay till the Friday night when the rain had to come, but only as mizzle.

We particularly liked Callander and would recommend it as a base for any visit to the area, mainly because it's away from the usual haunts around Loch Lomond favoured by our weegie cousins!

We found some fabulous views particularly on the way to and from Aberfoyle, when we made a slight excursion off the beaten track to Loch Katrine and Inversnaid on the east side of Loch Lomond, where as usual the dug couldn't resist swimming for sticks. Check the map out for the road to Inversnaid from Aberfoyle and try it - quite an experience! I also recommend the Duke's Road out of Aberfoyle for some more spectacular views and at least the road is wide enough for 2 cars.

All in all, I am amazed at the bits of Scotland that I haven't seen before and still manage to delight me. I was standing at the western ferry jetty on Loch Katrine at 6pm and there wasn't a soul to be seen, there, on the road, on the loch and not a sound to be heard other than my 14 year old son moaning about when he was getting something to eat! To which we returned to Aberfoyle and had the best meal of the holidays in the grandiose and spectacular setting of the Gathering Room at the Forth Inn. I seriously recommend you go to this establishment for a malt (they have a fabulous selection) and a meal. She who must be obeyed had Sea Bass and was bowled over. The aforementioned sprog had Lasagne off the bar menu and I know he was hungry, but his plateful was huge and according to him the best Lasagne he has ever had and believe me he is an expert on the subject. The slabs of accompanying garlic bread, chips and serious salad were apparently quite acceptable too. The puds were good as well, though where the loon managed to put that is anyone's guess. It should also be noted that all the staff were local (i.e. not being bleedin' Ozzies) and very pleasant.

So I say.....Up the Trossachs!

In the summertime.......

I'm back from my hols and yesterday we hit record temperatures for this part of the globe - high one's that is! I have even aired my shorts and exposed my peely wallie legs to the world. I'm busy putting together a review of my travels away, but meantime you can see some of the photos on my flickr homepage - just click on the side bar.

Put this in your diary

Wishbone Ash are on tour again and will visit Aberdeen on the 28th October and play at the Lemon Tree.

Full details are available for the whole UK tour on the band's website - click here.

See you there - I'm dayshift thankfully!

SEPA Warning

Scotland has been placed on a major flood alert.

All areas of Scotland were last night placed on high alert as a major flood is expected this morning. This is thought to have been caused by most of Scotland pishing themselves laughing at the England result.

Shame

I have resisted spouting forth excessively about the World Cup, but as a Scot, I was cheering on a defiant Engerland last night against a team that has effectively 'cheated' its way to the semis via two games that did little or no credit to the talent they have in their feet.



I have a few points to make on Engerland's exit:

No worse than Brazil & Argentina.

Owen Hargreaves proved his doubters wrong with the star performance and can I get some of what he takes before a match!

Rooney disgraced himself, with poor control of temper blighting England's chances once again.

I reckon they have the squad, particularly as they will no longer be under the 'helm' of Sven, to do well in the Euros.

Scots generally have an ambivalent attitude to Engerland's results, but the players showed true pride in this game once they were down to 10 men.

Portugal do not deserve to progress and I hope 'Les Bleus' show the class they showed against Brazil and wipe the smugness off Ronaldo's face in particular.

He should be as welcome at Old Trafford next season as a Leeds fan.



Note for new Manager...... Penalty practice!!!!

p.s. I predict a Germany v France final and I think the French may just sneak it.

LOL

I encourage you to read this Inspector's blog - the linked article is just one of many painfully true observations on our profession and how others are trying to ruin it and the job we are supposed to do for our 'customers.'

Mr Happy !

Holiday time has arrived.
A whole calendar month off !

BIG

Attic Theatre presents

'BIG' - THE MUSICAL

Aberdeen Arts Centre

Tuesday 13 – Saturday 17 June

at 7.30pm

Time to remind you...... tickets available for Saturday ..... click here for online bookings.

See original post here.

Tesco offers rum as contraceptive

Another mystery solved - click for more.

Aye, right....UEFA in Cuckoo land again!

Rangers told to axe 'Billy Boys' (or should that be chib? - ed)

All parties are united in a bid to silence the minority that continue to tarnish the reputation of Rangers Football Club Rangers statement

Rangers have been ordered to make a public announcement at all of their home games prohibiting the chanting of the song "Billy Boys".

The instruction comes from Uefa as one of a number of directives aimed at stamping out sectarianism.

Rangers were fined £13,000 for the sectarian behaviour of their fans at a recent Champions League match against Villareal - see pic.

And Rangers chairman David Murray has already met with supporters groups to make sure their fans comply.

The Rangers Assembly, fanzine and website Follow Follow and the Supporters Trust were all represented at the Murray Park meeting on Thursday evening.

Murray said: "These supporters' groups represented should be applauded for coming forward in recognition of the importance of this issue.

"I am delighted at the progress we made.

"Over the last two years, the club has strove fervently under the banner of 'Pride over Prejudice' working with the authorities to impose indefinite and lifetime bans.

"I look forward in the coming weeks to implementing some of the actions that were discussed.

"It is absolutely clear to all concerned that all supporters need to commit to silencing the minority."

The meeting followed receipt of Uefa's written grounds for fining Rangers following the tie against Villarreal.

Uefa also ordered Rangers to "anounce measurable targets in order to reduce sectarian behaviour amongst its supporters".

And it instructed the Glasgow club to prove the success of its measures through statistics communicated to the public.

Rangers have warned that their fans must comply to "avoid sanctions being imposed or expulsion from European competition altogether".

"A positive debate was held at Murray Park and all parties are united in a bid to silence the minority that continue to tarnish the reputation of Rangers Football Club," it was stated on the club website.

A joint committe has been formed between the club and supporters groups.

And a statement from the fans' bodies read: "The message now could not be clearer that the spotlight is upon the supporters and the club and it is their duty to work together to stamp out the minority who are damaging the reputations of all those connected with Rangers Football Club.

"Not only does this small minority tarnish the reputation of Rangers but of Scottish football and our society in general and hopefully anyone who is interested in Scottish football will work with us in assisting to eradicate this behaviour."

This is pants too!

ABERDEEN

18C - HAAR

TARLAND

25C - GLORIOUS SUNSHINE







UK

SPOT THE NORTH EASTERN CHILL ZONE

Pants

Clearly Engerland fans have taken my last post too literally!

p.s.

Shouldn't the Beckham ones be thongs?

Click here or on the post header for more Engerland bums!

I don't believe it

For those who have seen that Mars Bars have launched a marketing campaign to support England in the World Cup, you will have seen that the word 'Mars' on the wrapper has been changed to 'Believe'. These are currently on sale in most stores in England.

They have also launched a separate campaign in Scotland, as attached.

Firefox or IE?

IE just ain't as CUTE!

No way am I going on holiday!!!

'One Of Those Accidents'

A teenager blew the roof off his parents' house while they were away on holiday, after trying his hand at washing clothes.

Sean Davey, 18, left a washing basket full of clothes on top of the electric cooker in his parents' kitchen.

However, he then accidentally knocked one of the hob rings on before going out.

Unbeknown to him, the heated ring set fire to the clothes, which in turn ignited a nearby bag of shopping.

A deodorant can in the shopping exploded with such force it blew out the windows, cracked a wall and and lifted the roof off the bungalow.

Sean whipped up the £35,000 worth of damage while his parents were away on holiday, according to the Daily Telegraph.

His mother Joanne Bray and her husband Paul cut short their trip to the Scottish Highlands to return and survey the damage.

Mrs Bray said: "Sean phoned me and said 'Mum, the house is on fire'.

"I have forgiven him because it was just one of those unfortunate accidents. I am just grateful that he and the dogs are alive and well.

"It is just ironic that the fire was started by the electric hob because Sean didn't actually cook anything while we were away - he survived on microwave meals and takeaways." (Sounds like someone I know - ed.)

The blast at their home in Caister-on-Sea, near Great Yarmouth, in Norfolk, caused £20,000 structural damage and £15,000 fire and smoke damage.

Sean has blamed the family dog, labrador cross Jet, saying she must have jumped up and turned the cooker on.

Magna Carta tops 'British' day poll

'British' day off?