Many a tune...

An old song...

Election Eve Message from Toy Town™

#voteSNP projection @HyperlapseApp #GE15 pic.twitter.com/wEuPywKoFq

— Ross Colquhoun (@rosscolquhoun) May 6, 2015

BTW - Trident renewal is an anachronistic and abhorrent aberration. 

Feel free to spread the joy by joining the SNP today. 

Saor Alba. 



© McNoddy 
 Published by Toy Town™ Times

Out to pasture - or "Time to become a duck."

A song for long time Gadget followers.

BTW you can follow me on Twitter @Toytowner

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Life in plastic, it's fantastic......

Toy Town™ realised?

On the other hand it doesn't waste petrol.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Save a Prayer

Season's Greetings one and all.

I ask you to save a prayer today for this remarkable lady.

While you are at it, spare a thought for my colleagues who are out at the coalface today. Stay safe.

Finally, when you are surrounded by the warmth of your family and friends today, and those of you who might consider saying Grace, cast your minds towards those who are far away on the real front line fighting for us.

.... and yes, cast a thought on what this day is really about celebrating.

Now playing: Duran Duran - Save a Prayer
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Crisis? What Crisis?

Just a week ago, doom and gloom had apparently struck the Bridge.

Well that's Ancelotti's Aces top again and for a wee while too as the Internationals sort themselves out.

Should give Fergie time to cool off.

Now playing: Supertramp - Easy Does It
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Jox Vox - Vol. 3

Time for a skirl fae the loon o'er the happenings up in yon pairts.

First off there's little 'n' large. Go on guess which one interests me more? Staying on topic, this is just plain daft. Where on earth are you going to get a Scotsman to pay 10K for a comparatively wee bottle? As it happens, Glenfiddich is one of the few drams I would turn down anyway. Not for me, even if I had a hotline to Derren Brown. However, this does interest me.

Meanwhile a local brewery has a novel approach to helping tackle the country's binge-drinking culture.

Linking on the theme of alcohol, I liked this crumbly's honesty.

Conversely, as an antedote, the following story jumped out at me and in my best Sun headline mode I decided on: Little Toads!

Apparently, Sir Terry Wogan has said, "I can't go back to Toy Town™." As folk up here would say, "You big Jessie."

It's now official, a heap of money has been lost in translation. Teaching English is not going to help when our visitors are confronted with the Doric!

..... and finally a word or two about our apparently shrinking ovine friends.

I started off this post whining about being fleeced, but there is only one winner in that category, especially as our roasting hot summer has done for a predecessor.

Dun.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Twist in my Sobriety

Guess who's Nightshift this Hogmanay (or as famously once described "Mahogany").

Thus, as one of the few sober eens amongst the stocious throngs, I thought this video was apt.



Bliadhna Mhath Ùr to all and sundry.

......... and the twist?

There's a bottle of Laughing Frog with my name on it waiting for my return home.

Slàinte Mhath!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

The Policeman says........

.......this is the Script.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Gay sheep shocker

What on earth is going on in the English Countryside?

Inspector Gadget must investigate this immediately and report back in triplicate, not forgetting of course, the additional report to the LGBT ovine liaison officer.

... and just what are the Llamas doing about this?

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

It's only make believe

It's a start and it may only be in the world of cartoons, but the fight back against all things PC has begun as Dennis is being allowed to Menace again.

However, some folk haven't got a scooby doo and there's a unintentional retrograde move.

Listening to: The Beatles - It's Only Make Believe
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

In the Summertime

I'm back from my gallivanting and can I be the first to say "Ha Ha Mourinho."

The weather has been mixed (that's Doric for shite), but for a change it appears those southwards have not been overly blessed with sunshine. Being a typical Scot me and the sunshine don't exactly see eye to eye, inasmuch as mair freckles and red raw skin are nae my cup o' tea. However, a wee bit more rays would not have gone amiss.

Typically, I had to go to the end of the earth (well to she who has to be obeyed's family croft) to get the best weather!



Up in these parts the sheep are always happy.

So, what else has been happening since I was away. The youngest got all his Standard Grades (what used to be 'O' grades/levels) and all top grades too. I think back to his early days and his autistic spectrum 'problems' and this is nothing short of amazing. He deserved his large hug fae his Pa! (Somehow I think he will be looking for something more material though).

The eldest turns 21 today. It is time he was given the key to his own bleedin' door! (I'm joking loon!)

One thing I will say is that having spent a ridiculous amount of time behind some clown on the A9 who didn't read the bit in the Highway Code about CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER ROAD USERS, this is far overdue, even if it is being supported by another clown, who will be safe in the knowledge that his adored team will not be disgracing themselves in Europe. Well, off the pitch anyway!!!!

So what's been going on since I've been away in the hive of activity that is the Highlands?

Georgia beat Russia ............ in the quine's beach volleyball at the Olympix anyway. I know, I was transfixed by this event. I even found out from the commentary team that the 2 Georgians were Brazilians. I know the outfits were skimpy, but how did they know that? I've heard of drug testing, but rug testing....... I'll get my hiviz.

But, otherwise most of the news has been crap.

In pseudo DBA Dude booze review mode, I can report that, whilst away, I popped into a Teuchter Tesco (f.a.o. AnneDroid - anither 'een!) and found this smashing wee drop. I should have bought more 'cos it has yet to hit Tesco's shelves locally.

Back to work next week, so maybe something Polis related to follow, but mind, I have a life!

Listening to: Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Twenty Years

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20 year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.

Listening to: Placebo - Twenty Years
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

No surprises

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Stationary Traveller

Certain HMG Ministers do not like being cheek by Jowell with the prols.

What is it about champagne socialists that they want us all to live in harmony just as long as certain things are NIMBY?

Mind you, even poor old Basil Brush can make a faux pas when it comes to our Romany friends.

It's just as well then that my mob stick clear of such evil racists.



© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

The Lamb Lies Down

Sticking to the education theme, this article from the Beeb amused me. Not least because up in these pairts the landward locals have a reputation they'd rather not have amongst certain central-belters.

I wondered if the kids also get to go to the slaughterhouse and see their cuddly little balls of fluff get the chop? Now that's reality.

In Toyland™ the sheep are not just sheep, they are educational tools and good friends!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

The Sound of Silence

It's a slippery slope we are on.

Among the array of my many splendoured talents is the fact that I am a fully trained custard occifer.

As such, I am considering the latest softly softly approach being pioneered by the Prison Service to improve my intel submissions.

Those of you trained in this fine art will shudder at the thought of me putting this aspect of the initiative ahead of the duty of care to the poor incarcerated souls (or should that be soles?), but on an average evening/night in the cell block it is hardly the Magnums and DM's traipsing down the corridors that are going to keep the incarcerated awake, more likely Mr McPished or Mr McHigh pounding on the cell door with his heid. Oh and of course there's always a Ms McBanshee.

Meanwhile, in Ruralshire the Duty Detective Inspector pays a visit to custody and is asked to remove his shoes first and replace them with the new standard issue.


© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Leave a light on

It's that time of year when the nights fair draw in, particularly round these northern parts.

This can be good for us Polis in that the local yoof are less disposed to 'hingin aboot' the local shops etc., but can be bad for you householders who forgot the significance of the change to the clocks this past weekend. Keep a light on for the bit of the day now dark that you spend rushing home from your nice day jobs, otherwise me and my m8s will be round to visit you after the Big Scary Animals have looted your gaff. I don't want to have to say, "Told you. Runaway Horses, stable door etc."

As usual Toy Town™ Constabulary offer a natty little aid for those scared of the dark, but for a more official guide those north of Carlisle could try keeping our communities safe or those southwards could try here.

p.s. Noddy would like it to be known that he does not remove his pyjamas willy nilly for anyone.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

I want to ride my bicycle

The wheel really has come off......

Weird or kinky, but does it really justify being placed on the sex offenders' register?

As Freddie said, " I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like."

Click for update.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Rent boys

The following has mysteriously disappeared from the blogosphere.....

POLICE INSPECTOR BLOG

Rugby World Cup Final 2007

If they win, they will all be able to afford houses in Ruralshire.

There’s no need to cry, you can always rent in Ruralshire!

by inspectorgadget at October 20, 2007 07:51 AM

Personally, I thought England should be proud of two finals in a row.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times