Champions!

It's been bloody hard work being a Chelsea fan, but at feckin last!

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Déjà vu

Mini Me?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Still top!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Double delight

Noddy is bouncing along merrily in Toytown™ like a happy little chappie with his bell ringing loudly.

Meanwhile, I have been following a new series on the Beeb up here in God's Own Country, but after watching the first offering, I think He may just want to disown bits of it!

You gotta love Marvin the reformed heroin addict...."Marvin is looking forward to seeing his girlfriend; when she gets out of prison."

Depressingly, similar schemes litter every major town and I'm sure, once you manage to unnerstaun the patter, you will recognise the same features in your own neighbourhoods (sic).

So you'll unnerstaun why I'm also delighted since I'm no longer a Response cop (but then nobody is any more up here 'cos we've all now recently moved into a Local Policing Team) and I am now fighting the good fight in a location virtually void of the depressing drudgery of delinquents, domestics and drug dependency.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Diet pehs?

She who must be obeyed would be in a quandary today if she was in the least bit interested in the beautiful game.

Born in Pompey and brought up in Dingwall it would be churlish of me to suggest that whilst I hope to be celebrating a double, she will probably be doubly disappointed.

Meanwhile the Beeb has clearly found the burning issue to report regarding the Scottish FA Cup Final.

Low Fat pehs? I think the Beeb are missing the point!

Anyway, c'mon the Stags and Lions.

Update - The OH would be bereft, but then she doesn't even know there is an offside rule.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

There's more....

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Simples

I have officially overdosed on re-runs of the massacre at the Bridge and am now able to post my delight!

103 goals this season - record,
71 goals difference - record,
Didier Drogba - Golden Boot,
Peter Cech - Golden Glove,

....... but what really matters......














Now for the double.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Guess who's a happy easter bunny?

Cracking!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Crisis? What Crisis?

Just a week ago, doom and gloom had apparently struck the Bridge.

Well that's Ancelotti's Aces top again and for a wee while too as the Internationals sort themselves out.

Should give Fergie time to cool off.

Now playing: Supertramp - Easy Does It
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Predictable

This was inevitable!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

In the Summertime

I'm back from my gallivanting and can I be the first to say "Ha Ha Mourinho."

The weather has been mixed (that's Doric for shite), but for a change it appears those southwards have not been overly blessed with sunshine. Being a typical Scot me and the sunshine don't exactly see eye to eye, inasmuch as mair freckles and red raw skin are nae my cup o' tea. However, a wee bit more rays would not have gone amiss.

Typically, I had to go to the end of the earth (well to she who has to be obeyed's family croft) to get the best weather!



Up in these parts the sheep are always happy.

So, what else has been happening since I was away. The youngest got all his Standard Grades (what used to be 'O' grades/levels) and all top grades too. I think back to his early days and his autistic spectrum 'problems' and this is nothing short of amazing. He deserved his large hug fae his Pa! (Somehow I think he will be looking for something more material though).

The eldest turns 21 today. It is time he was given the key to his own bleedin' door! (I'm joking loon!)

One thing I will say is that having spent a ridiculous amount of time behind some clown on the A9 who didn't read the bit in the Highway Code about CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER ROAD USERS, this is far overdue, even if it is being supported by another clown, who will be safe in the knowledge that his adored team will not be disgracing themselves in Europe. Well, off the pitch anyway!!!!

So what's been going on since I've been away in the hive of activity that is the Highlands?

Georgia beat Russia ............ in the quine's beach volleyball at the Olympix anyway. I know, I was transfixed by this event. I even found out from the commentary team that the 2 Georgians were Brazilians. I know the outfits were skimpy, but how did they know that? I've heard of drug testing, but rug testing....... I'll get my hiviz.

But, otherwise most of the news has been crap.

In pseudo DBA Dude booze review mode, I can report that, whilst away, I popped into a Teuchter Tesco (f.a.o. AnneDroid - anither 'een!) and found this smashing wee drop. I should have bought more 'cos it has yet to hit Tesco's shelves locally.

Back to work next week, so maybe something Polis related to follow, but mind, I have a life!

Listening to: Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

In the blue, painted blue

It has been a while since I posted about the Blues. Well one does have to have a reasonable period of mourning.

Meanwhile, I have been brushing up on my Eurovision songs and have a wee inkling this fine tune may be heard down at the Bridge with a slight alteration come next season.

Personally he was my favourite choice to take the hot seat, so I'm fair chuffed. Now to set about getting Ronaldo to move not quite so far south as the media would have us believe he will be!

p.s. I am now backing Portugal for Euro 2008.

Listening to: Luciano Pavarotti - Volare
via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

It's all about the Blues

Those of you reading this post on Planet Police expecting Polis based material - look away, it's got very little to do with Plodding. I do promise a worthwhile read all the same for those bloggers wondering why they bother to blog.

However, spare me this rare moment of celebration after two heartbreaking losses to Liverpool in semis over the last few years it just had to be third time lucky as I predicted and so it proved.

Anyhow, there I was on Tuesday on a step down shift to accommodate a trial on Wednesday when inevitably I get the email telling me the miscreant has pled guilty. Inconsiderate so and so! Does he not know this now means Mr Plod will no longer be on dayshift and have to be nightshift. There I had been planning a few cold beers in front of the TV and now I just knew there would be extra time. The full time whistle blows last night and Noddy makes this rapid transformation into Mr Plod and jumps in the motor rapidly switching to 5Live as he makes his way sharpish like to work for 10pm. I nearly crash as Essien 'scores' and then doesn't. Fortunately I'm parked at the back door of the sty when Lamps takes the penalty and so it goes on. You know the result.

Enough of that, more importantly I'm asking you first to go back in time and read this post, because unless you do the rest won't make sense. When you have, read on. You will also understand what I was referring to in my Sheep post.

I received these emails recently. They literally stopped me in my tracks. After getting them and seeing Lamps play last night, I just knew that Chelsea would win. (Forgot to put a pound on the Lottery though!)

1. -----Original Message-----
From: identity masked meantime
To: toytownContact@aol.com
Sent: Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:07
Subject: Please forward to Noddy

My daughter popped into me yesterday and showed me what she had printed off from the internet, which was from Monday, 05 November 2007 "Since you Asked". As I read I began to have goose bumps, that was my Dad you were writing about (Sidney Popper) and it was lovely to have my memory jogged and other memories came flooding in. I lived Chelsea as a child, being lifted over the barrier on a Saturday afternoon and being thoroughly spoilt with lots of treats and sweets. Long train journeys to see away games and lots of memories of that box.
Thank you for making me remember.

xxxxxxxx name withheld meantime.

2. -----Original Message-----
From: identity masked meantime
To: toytowncontact@aol.com
Sent: Mon, 28 Apr 2008 11:33
Subject: Sidney Popper

Hello
My grandfather was Sidney Popper. Thanks for your lovely story about him which I printed out and gave to my mum (his daughter). She was quite overwhelmed. All our family are still avid Chelsea fans although we don't have the box any more we have season tickets in the Upper East and my children go too (Sidney's great-grandchildren)

xxxxxxxx name withheld meantime.

I replied as follows. I think it says it all.

Wow!

He was a toff, spoiled us rotten and I'm eternally grateful to him for introducing me to the Blues.

After today's result, there is still hope of 2 bits of silverware. It really is happy days down at the Bridge. It is only a shame they play 500+ miles away!

At least everyone will now believe me! They think I was making it up.

Both my parents died earlier than they should have and this week's news about Pat Lampard got me thinking of my own mother who only made it to 57 herself. Parents are never truly appreciated till you are one yourself and then when they depart early just as you realise this, it is a real blow. I do hope Sidney had a long life. I know it was full.

I wish you and your family well and I would be truly obliged if I could add your comment to my blog, if you would grant me the permission.

I've sent my 'little' brother a copy too as it will make him shiver (in a nice way!) as much as it did to me. It truly is a small world at times and if this isn't an example of how the internet makes it smaller I don't know what is!

My best regards,

Noddy

p.s. I've just re-read my post and notice I described Sidney as 'rotund'. I do apologise, but that's how I remember him, as a larger than life man, who let's be honest, for a man I met once and 40 years ago who's name I still remember and who's face I can still picture, he must therefore have been a true character.... so roundish and cuddly would have been better!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

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Half Time Scores

Well there's only one game really and it's:

Drogba 1 - Benitez 0

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Gotta Go

Apparently there's a footie game on Sky I need to watch. My fingernails await my teeth.

.... and well done United.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Too soon

Only 58.

Thought are with Lamps Jnr & Snr.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Latest Sports News

Sources have advised Toy Town™ Times that John Arne Riise has been arrested.

Apparently he was caught driving the wrong way down the Motorway.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Hilarious

Well it looks like it will be third time lucky for the Blues after last night's result.

Speculation is rife as to the sort of headwear Cech will be wearing should he be fit for the ties against Liverpool.





Chelski players do have a fair stock of suitable items.











In my days as a Caman wielding nutter such attire would have been considered a wee bittie saft. As the lyrics in the video below state;

We don't play for fame,
We don't play for cash.
We just play for glory,
And the clash of the ash.



p.s. Oh, Bollox!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Don't Panic

I'm very humbled that certain folk have missed me and others have worried that the rubber heelers have sussed me out.

The simple fact is that there have been a number of unrelated reasons why this blog has not figured high in my priorities of late.

Firstly, I have recently changed ISP, upgraded my PC's memory and added a DVD rewriter and oh how I like playing with my new toys! Speaking of which there's now a Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii to enjoy as well. I should grow up and yesterday I did. OK, I will forgive all of you for forgetting to wish me well.

Secondly, I have changed beat and as Gazza will confirm, WOW, quelle difference. Having suffered the PAIN of patrolling the very hub of Toytown™, I now look after a morass of sink estates and bizarrely this has proved so much more fun and a tonic to my weary body.

I now have time to breathe between calls and (apologies for the boss speak) am so much more pro-active. My intel stats and performance measured activities have sky-rocketed and YOU know how important that is these days.

I come home with a smile and go to work actually looking forward to a shift (well as much as anyone loves going to work!) Long may it continue.

This has had the effect of me being considerably less stressed at work and at home.

Accordingly, I have become a human again (well as human as a Copper ever can) and humans do more than sit in front of the internet grumbling about their job being shafted by Politicos. I think it is no coincidence then that the best (or most consistent) bloggers are fellow response officers, who are suffering the result of incessant tampering with the way the job is approached. You should therefore logically be able to measure my level of stress by the quantity of posts I submit. Please tell me how I'm getting on if you start to worry!

I'm not one to kiss and tell when it comes to calls I attend, well not until a fair bit of dust has settled, but my return to the wonders of policing cooncil estates has encouraged me to spill the beans on one I went to on the last set of Nights.

I received a hurried point to point from one of my female colleagues advising things were 'a little heated' at her call. She was with another female colleague at a flat trying to extricate a teenaged quine from her father on the instructions of the equally overstretched and thus absent SWD.

Big Daddy (see below) wasn't having any of it. My male colleague and I blued and two'd it down to their locus and ran up the stairs to see a doppelgänger for 'five bellies' yelling the usual bravado at us including the fact that he would, "spik to youse quines, but I'm nae spikin to yon twa fucking cunts." I retorted with a, "Nice to meet you too Sir."

He went on to advise us that it would take more than me and my colleagues to remove the wean. I took this to mean he would stand sideways in the corridor and effectively block any light with his belly, but apparently he was ready for a fight according to my colleagues as their fingers were itching over their CS sprays. I am such an optimist! Anyway, using God's best weapon we gobshited our way out of the hovel masquerading as a house with the wean, who incidentally was nearly awarded an Oscar for her panic attack scene.

Now all this took place well past bedtime (about 3.30 am) and in all the accompanying yelling and wailing (mainly from me, because my refreshment was chilling in the Microwave where I'd hurriedly left it) WE had woken an upstairs resident, who in wonderfully feminine and erudite language advised us WE had woken two of her precious wee darlings and wished the "fucking pigs" an early death and questioned our parentage from a now widely opened and surprisingly intact window of the close's top landing.

It's great to be appreciated for all the work we do.

Back soonish.

p.s.

There was a third reason for not posting i.e. there's been a lot of footie on the telly, but I will not be spurred on to elucidate on that!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

.... and finally

Another day out in the Smoke beckons for the other boys in blue.

As a conscientious recycler I have a suggestion; there might just be another use for all those white baseball caps for the opposition. Just add a wee embroidered 'Carling Cup 2008 - Runners Up' and there you go.

You've got to the 24th of February to get them sold on Ebay.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times