Canteen Mythology v.2

Keeping this simple. Polis piece times and locations have reared their heads again over on Twitter.

I have written about this before, but I welcome this corroboration.

© McNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Canteen mythology

There has been a wee bit of a kerfuffle recently over at Twitter in regards to Polis eating habits and canteens.

Ever prescient, I offer you this piece (sic) from 2008. 



BTW - Trident renewal is an anachronistic and abhorrent aberration. 

Feel free to spread the joy by joining the SNP today. 

Saor Alba. 

© McNoddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Endex

Dinna fash yersel.  No finished on here, jist being a bobbie.

Busy daen naithin a noo, bit fan I'm ready tae yap, look oot. Nae holds barred ye ken.

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Landshark Mk.II

Following on from the blinder played by T. Mayhem re Supernintendos, here is her latest plan to replace Polis dugs.

© Bumpy the Dog 

Published by Toy Town™ Times 

SP99

Tragic ..... 

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Out to pasture - or "Time to become a duck."

A song for long time Gadget followers.

BTW you can follow me on Twitter @Toytowner

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Satire?

Scot Squad - Required viewing.

© Noddy 
Published by Toy Town™ Times

ayePhone shockeroonee

Fit like loons and quines?

It's a sair fecht, but yon new fangled ayePhones cannae deal wi' the doric twang.

Big up tae the Polisman, fars obviously been affa weel brocht up - and clearly nae fae Mastrick.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

I predict a riot

Cameron says Police were too slow to react - what's Italian for pot & kettle?

Give him some PPE and shove him on the front line.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Mayhem

Well that was pure genius Mr Prime Eunuch.

All police leave cancelled. Spiffing good show. Just the support we wanted from the combined neurone that clearly is shared around the table at COBRA.

I have my suspicions it was a holding statement until they contacted Baldrick for a cunning plan.

In the meantime the hooded massive will be quaking in their one tens as they await the 'force' of the debate in the HoC on Thursday.

I'm sure I previously mentioned Nero.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

........ Apologists.

Is it just me, as far as I am from Norf Lundun, or do others wonder why do we have to suffer the bleetings of those individuals who are trotted out by our wonderful media to explain that the underlying impoverishment and disenfranchisement of the yoof is the rationale for blatant criminality.

If I was poor, disadvantaged, abandoned and starving you might under the most desperate of circumstances see me and my massive making the local Lidl an open air emporium for the famished population, but what do we actually see ........?

........ Fashionistas busting the windows of JD Sports to engorge themselves on vital victuals such as one tens and trackies and the truly desperate at Currys helping themselves to life saving HDTVs.

Ten out of ten to Sky News for their beautifully succinct comment on their Twitter site in relation to a news alert on their ticker. If only the rest of their coverage was as balanced.

In summation, however, this is clearly all the Police's fault. I must have missed the bit at Polis College about how I was to solve all the country's social ills. I thought that was the Politicians job - silly me. Mind you one has to let them have their foreign holidays and the rest of us can just muck in and cover for them since we can no longer afford such luxuries after Ms May's patently counter-productive decimation of our pay, pensions and conditions. I do feel so sorry she had to cut short her vacation.

I have, based on the collective assumption of guilt, penned a letter to my own Chief Constable, requesting he pay immediate attention to the non-appearance of summer hereabouts. If he is on the ball, he will roll out an obscure ecomentalist to explain it all to us.

Stay safe my southern cousins.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

While I've been away

During my enforced sojourn, I managed to jot down a few memos and links for future reference.

Time to uncork the bottle methinks.

First off, has anyone seen the fruits of their labours? Or have the apples still to fall from the trees?

The next time the other half asks that question, the one there used to be no answer for, just refer her to this ... adding of course, "No, it's always been that size."

Speaking of size. They used to say the Polis are getting younger, now it seems they are getting smaller.

On a positive note I was glad, given ongoing matters, to read this. I just don't believe it!

My next post will concentrate on the daft, stupid and frankly ridiculous happenings up here in God's country. We need his help you see!

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Table Toppers

Sometimes I am stoked that my small country can deliver some spectacular results, and at other times - well not.

Unfortunately Toytown™ heads up this particular league.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Again?

Surely once was enough.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Ray of Sunshine!

I have to put on record the unstinting support my gaffers and those in the Welfare team have given my family over the last 9 months, particularly as it has nought to do with them.

A tower of a man retires today and he will be genuinely difficult to replace.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Been awa, but no biding awa

Apologies to all and sundry, but due to issues beyond my control (and nothing to do wi' the Polis) I have been and will be preoccupied with other matters.

Once resolved believe you me I have plenty to say and the pic maybe hints at my feelings just now.

Meanwhile this is a well overdue link and the background is here and here.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Life in plastic, it's fantastic......

Toy Town™ realised?

On the other hand it doesn't waste petrol.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Double delight

Noddy is bouncing along merrily in Toytown™ like a happy little chappie with his bell ringing loudly.

Meanwhile, I have been following a new series on the Beeb up here in God's Own Country, but after watching the first offering, I think He may just want to disown bits of it!

You gotta love Marvin the reformed heroin addict...."Marvin is looking forward to seeing his girlfriend; when she gets out of prison."

Depressingly, similar schemes litter every major town and I'm sure, once you manage to unnerstaun the patter, you will recognise the same features in your own neighbourhoods (sic).

So you'll unnerstaun why I'm also delighted since I'm no longer a Response cop (but then nobody is any more up here 'cos we've all now recently moved into a Local Policing Team) and I am now fighting the good fight in a location virtually void of the depressing drudgery of delinquents, domestics and drug dependency.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Où sont vos chapeaux?

Not wishing to make light of the passing of a colleague, but I have a feeling I know what some SMT types would have reacted to first on seeing this report and pic.

Repose en paix.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

An offensive weapon.

Dick!

Do I really need to say anything else?

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times