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Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts

Friday, July 01, 2011

While I've been away


During my enforced sojourn, I managed to jot down a few memos and links for future reference.


Time to uncork the bottle methinks.

First off, has anyone seen the fruits of their labours? Or have the apples still to fall from the trees?

The next time the other half asks that question, the one there used to be no answer for, just refer her to this ... adding of course, "No, it's always been that size."

Speaking of size. They used to say the Polis are getting younger, now it seems they are getting smaller.

On a positive note I was glad, given ongoing matters, to read this. I just don't believe it!

My next post will concentrate on the daft, stupid and frankly ridiculous happenings up here in God's country. We need his help you see!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Viewpoints


The little world of Toytowner's most 'famous' inhabitant has been in upheaval and continues to be so. As such I've had little time to update the blog, but here goes with some catch up.

This decision passed with a worldwide whisper once again!

It seems Mrs 'T' was not always a Unionist - well we knew that this side of our border!

I found this article from the Beeb professionally amusing if only for the completely non-diverse nature of the report. Easy now, having a dig at Poles and the Irish all in one article - naughty Auntie.

Some folk will make any excuse for taking a dram.

Certain constituents know just where they are not going to put their 'Y' at the next election.

The nanny state continues unabated with such classics (sic) as this. Keeping on the food tack, this is genuinely more worrying, if of no great surprise.

Equally I worried a bit about the degeneration in what used to be the pillars of society when I read this blurb. Role models? Perhaps they should look no further than the impressive Eddie Izzard.

Finally, for all acrophobics out there this made me wibble and wobble.

© Nod
dy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Sorry, say that again.


The trouble with going on holiday to the barren wetlands is that you miss some press cuttings.

Having said that, this did not come as NEWS to me.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, August 24, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

True Guardian


I had been keeping my powder dry before launching a vicious assault upon the unbalanced, intemperate, prejudicial, trial by meeja, agenda based, G20 'reporting' by what used to be a respected if badly typo graphed newspaper.

Whilst not wishing to jump on the bandwagon and point out that some folk, with the aforementioned agendas, do not even mention this tragic event at all on their front page - strange that....not, I am genuinely appalled at the general apathy shown towards this matter by all of the media outlets. There are times (sic) when you begin to wonder whether it is all worth it.

So to redress the balance, here's the headline.

TO GARY TOMS' FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES - MY PRAYERS ARE RESERVED FOR YOU TODAY.

Even our Home Secretary cannot bring herself to pass on any form of personal regret or condolence. Sky did manage to be one of the few media outlets to include this somewhat dismissive quote.....

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Such events highlight the dangers that police officers face every day on the frontline protecting the public."

Now to my editorial notes.....

Like I said, I was keeping my powder dry until the IPCC did its job regarding the various incidents down south, but the camel's back finally broke when a) the media ignored Gary's death b) Sky News jumped onto the Grauniad's bandwagon of intemperate, misleading and unchallenged language in its reporting.

Once upon a time, I took a degree in Politics and Economics. Once upon a time I considered a career as a Journalist. Then I grew up and joined the real world, where actions speak louder than words.

However, my tertiary education wasn't entirely wasted, because one of the fundamental attributes of any scholar should be the ability to analyse impartially any evidence provided to support a case or proposition.

I have been monitoring closely the Grauniad's selective reporting over the G20 matters. It is abundantly clear that they have an Agenda and all their reporting is fixated on 'spinning' their line. There is no impartiality at all and, as such, any support that they may have wished to engender in respect of questioning the Police tactics and role in keeping the peace at such demonstrations, is lost. Any valid points they may have made are now lost in poorly disguised vitriol.

Let's look at the FACTS.

Ian Tomlinson died. Tragedy, for his family and friends.

First PM without the benefit of hindsight and information re 'contact' with Police suggests a heart attack.

Grauniad obtains 'impartial' witness evidence and video of Police 'contact' with Mr Tomlinson. After making hay with same, passes same to IPCC.

Second PM, with hindsight, finds internal bleeding the prime cause of death.

Now, let's look at the possibilities.....

The second PM has, as far as I'm aware, not suggested any cause for the mass bleed.

There was considerable 'contact' with Mr Tomlinson before his death, not all of it reported by the Grauniad. One might be cynical and suggest that this didn't quite fit the 'just walking home' role in the events, so let's just gloss over that shall we.

The family's lawyer has described the videod contact with the TSG officer as follows;


Jules Carey, the lawyer acting for Tomlinson's family, said: "The video footage of the unprovoked and vicious assault on Ian by the police officer would easily justify charges of assault being brought against the officer. The findings of Dr Nat Cary significantly increase the likelihood that the officer will now face the more serious charge of manslaughter."

Is it just me, but how come this lawyer can use the adjectives 'unprovoked' and 'vicious' before the result of the IPCC investigation is published? Similarly, the inflammatory use of 'easily justify charges of assault' is a case of suggesting guilt before the presumption of innocence.

Later in the same article we are advised that there was;

Immediate reaction from politicians to the second postmortem result with demands that the inquiry be pursued as a matter of urgency. Chris Huhne, the Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman, described it as an "alarming finding". He added: "It suggests that Mr Tomlinson's treatment by the police officer caught on video may have been the final contributing factor in his death. These findings put further pressure on the IPCC to investigate this matter with all urgency." Boris Johnson, the London mayor and chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority, urged the IPCC to be open and quick. "There must now be a fast and transparent conclusion to the IPCC investigation, with the full and urgent cooperation of all involved," he said. "It is vital that everyone takes care not to prejudice either the ongoing IPCC investigation or indeed any future criminal proceedings that may arise. "The Met receive and deserve the overwhelming support of the people of London, but the family of Ian Tomlinson need answers and so do Londoners."

I'm not surprised in the choice of Politicians sought to spout on behalf of the Grauniad and Mr Huhne has an amazing medical and pathology knowledge if he can extrapolate that the last 'contact' can be considered the
'final contributing factor' in Mr Tomlinson's death.

Having said that, Boris gets it spot on for a change!
"It is vital that everyone takes care not to prejudice either the ongoing IPCC investigation or indeed any future criminal proceedings that may arise." Couldn't have put it better myself.

Meanwhile over at Sky........


.........Exaggeration is rife.

Oh, and am I being cynical when the term animal rights supporter pops up and I think... no job then to describe yourself by then, eh?

I was tickled by her being upset that a horrible man thing attacked her ladyship though! Does she not know we are totally diverse today when we chose who to thrash the living daylights out of.

All this goes to show is don't believe everything you read in the media and more importantly read between the lines!

Indeed, if the Police do not get any form of reassurance in situations like these that their often thankless job entails difficult split second decisions and reactive action, then those lines may just head off home, because any action seems to meet with an unequal reaction thereafter.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

News Roundup


April Fool's day came early to Toy Town™ as the local Hazmat incident team swung into full farce.

If weeds could read, they would be killing themselves laughing.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Burns Night in Buckie


Locals would hardly describe Buckie as a hot spot, but one local hostelry is doing its level best to offer customers a little extra.

I particularly liked the locals name for the establishment. Hardly inspiring. Perhaps the landlord would be better off dimming the lights completely.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Hyperbole


In a joined up, multi-agency, partnership approach, I speculate as to whether my own employers will be visionary enough to take on board this initiative.

Spotting these could be the basis of a new game to amuse yourself at any face-to-face engagements with our stakeholders or at team empowerment meetings.

Shouldn't be difficult as it is a long list of all-encompassing hyperbollox. Do feel free to add any other gems you have to deal with in your own particular sphere of employment and do cascade this piece of information through your own partnerships and networks.

Do you recognise any of these at your workplace?

(Comments always welcomed).

Across-the-piece
Actioned
Advocate
Agencies
Ambassador
Area based
Area focused
Autonomous
Baseline
Beacon
Benchmarking
Best Practice
Blue sky thinking
Bottom-Up
CAAs
Can do culture
Capabilities
Capacity
Capacity building
Cascading
Cautiously welcome
Challenge
Champion
Citizen empowerment
Client
Cohesive communities
Cohesiveness
Collaboration
Commissioning
Community engagement
Compact
Conditionality
Consensual
Contestability
Contextual
Core developments
Core Message
Core principles
Core Value
Coterminosity
Coterminous
Cross-cutting
Cross-fertilisation
Customer
Democratic legitimacy
Democratic mandate
Dialogue
Direction of travel
Distorts spending priorities
Double devolution
Downstream
Early Win
Edge-fit
Embedded
Empowerment
Enabler
Engagement
Engaging users
Enhance
Evidence Base
Exemplar
External challenge
Facilitate
Fast-Track
Flex
Flexibilities and Freedoms
Framework
Fulcrum
Functionality
Funding streams
Gateway review
Going forward
Good practice
Governance
Guidelines
Holistic
Holistic governance
Horizon scanning
Improvement levers
Incentivising
Income streams
Indicators
Initiative
Innovative capacity
Inspectorates
Interdepartmental
Interface
Iteration
Joined up
Joint working
LAAs
Level playing field
Lever
Leverage
Localities
Lowlights
MAAs
Mainstreaming
Management capacity
Meaningful consultation
Meaningful dialogue
Mechanisms
Menu of Options
Multi-agency
Multidisciplinary
Municipalities
Network model
Normalising
Outcomes
Output
Outsourced
Overarching
Paradigm
Parameter
Participatory
Partnership working
Partnerships
Pathfinder
Peer challenge
Performance Network
Place shaping
Pooled budgets
Pooled resources
Pooled risk
Populace
Potentialities
Practitioners
Predictors of Beaconicity
Preventative services
Prioritization
Priority
Proactive
Process driven
Procure
Procurement
Promulgate
Proportionality
Protocol
Provider vehicles
Quantum
Quick hit
Quick win
Rationalisation
Rebaselining
Reconfigured
Resource allocation
Revenue Streams
Risk based
Robust
Scaled-back
Scoping
Sector wise
Seedbed
Self-aggrandizement
Service users
Shared priority
Shell developments
Signpost
Single conversations
Single point of contact
Situational
Slippage
Social contracts
Social exclusion
Spatial
Stakeholder
Step change
Strategic
Strategic priorities
Streamlined
Sub-regional
Subsidiarity
Sustainable
Sustainable communities
Symposium
Synergies
Systematics
Taxonomy
Tested for Soundness
Thematic
Thinking outside of the box
Third sector
Toolkit
Top-down
Trajectory
Tranche
Transactional
Transformational
Transparency
Upstream
Upward trend
Utilise
Value-added
Vision
Visionary
Welcome
Wellbeing
Worklessness

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Hundred Acre Hood and other tales


A wee round-up of happenings north of Watford Gap.

Lost and Found.

A Toy Town
Polis spokestoon commented, "We are glad to see the wee bear back with Piglet, Eeyore and the gang. Winnie has a serious pot habit (honey that is- ed.) and he was persuaded by some clever but unscrupulous types to venture into Toy Town™ to source his stash. Fortunately, we combed the city and in the bees nest that is Hundred Acre Hood, during a co-ordinated intelligence-led sting operation our colleagues traced Winnie. Toy Town™ Polis would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that it will not tolerate the kidnapping of toons."

PC Milne (no relative) added, "
I'm glad he didn't come to a sticky end."

The local paper reported that, "After a hive of activity in the north of the city, Pooh was rescued."

Jacquelyn Liddell, Managing Director of Storybook Glen, originally told BBC Scotland when Winnie was reported missing that: "It's shocking. I just wish parents would see where their children are at night."

Wise Owl responded last night by stating, "Sometimes people jump to conclusions."

Eeyore, never one to be serious, said, "Here's some more Poo."

When asked to comment, Piglet merely said, "Oh, d-d-d-dear."

Bad day at the Office - Part 1

Some days you just wish you'd been elsewhere. Horrendously bad luck all round, for the bereaved, the other car driver and the poor Polis.

Bad day at the Office - Part 2

Every custody officer's and force's nightmare, but whatever the reason it's even more of a nightmare for the relatives. However, after the loon's last two exploits, I do hope he'd asked for forgiveness for his sins before his untimely death.

Note to Northern Constabulary - I'd start crossing your collective toes if I were you.

What a silly Hunt

Well clearly the digit curling up North isn't working. Read the article's comments to get the full flavour of the 'story'.

Judge Dredd

I have to admit I had to read this article twice. Well that's because the first time I fell off my chair in shock. Without wishing to add my support so freely to the vigilante system in Prison, it should at least make those who commit the more dastardly of crimes think twice, because despite it all there is still a moral code amongst some of the pros amongst the cons!

That's enough jox vox for now.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, October 24, 2008

To Twother or not to Twother


At first glance at the headline for this report from Reuters, I thought we'd had the good old pint metricated.

However, it appears that someone thinks there is somebody out there somewhere who cannot cope with a whole pint of beer/cider, but thinks a half pint is too little.

Plain daft if you ask me, but apparently it's a common measure (425 mls) in Oz and known as a Schooner in most states there, but not all. I always knew Aussies were lightweights!

I won't bother to twother.

On another booze related tack, this proposal fairly took the wind out of a Toy Town
™ publican's sails (Geddit?). Speaking from experience, at 3am in the morning in the town centre at weekends, I'm rarely running into folk blootered on tins of Tennent's Special from the Offie. I wonder where they've come from? Mind you, the publicans can now say they only need to pay 2/3 of the cost, 'cos abidy will be downing twothers, even the quines.

Meanwhile, another British institution is tinkered with and goes down the plughole of multi-nationalism. However, on reading the article, apparently the change in the speaking clock disnae bother the rest of the Union and is only upsetting for our English cousins. Perhaps we could have a separate Jock Clock.

Calling time folks.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Sweet innit?


"A 13-year-old girl who has had four sexual partners, smokes dope, drinks beer and has been excluded from school 40 times is considered "sweet" by her mother and given cigarettes as rewards for good behaviour."

I was researching (sounds good eh?) another post when I came across the headline above and the full report in the Daily Torygraph. Please read it. It beggars belief and is a sad indictment of modern Britain.

Now, if it had been in the Daily Wail I might have just shrugged it off, but given it's in an allegedly respectable publication, for some unknown reason I began to weep uncontrollably.

Whatever next?

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Help the Aged


Many a moon ago I used to work for Help the Aged, so I feel that I am in a good place to advise our elderly parishioners on ways to improve and extend their lives.

I offer these following two snippets by way of a public service announcement, the second being especially for us First Aiders.

Silver Surfers.

Stayin' Alive.

I have looked out the flares and kipper tie for my next refresher course.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, October 06, 2008

But the Bish bashed back


I'm keeping my posts short and snappy today.

"He's a great leader and doesn't cloud his views in political correctness."


OMG!

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I refuse to wear a hoodie


I'm feeling lazy today.

I think my brain has been drained what with all that ramming I've had to do, so I thought I'd just point you in the direction of a few snippets that came to my attention.


First and foremost, let's get to the major headline today......

Postman Pat is now a toonser.

Add this to the nonsense I previously alluded to and I fear for the countryside and all our cherished memories. As stated, I will not be modernising any day soon. No hoodies for me, innit.

What has been genuinely worrying me lately has been the way the media describes 'life sentences'. In some cases this only means a life time order.

In two recent cases, life actually meant 9 years in one sentencing and then 18 months (and with backdating!) in the other. It is only if the scoundrels don't rehabilitate that the life bit kicks in. In the case of the former I'd suggest he's already shown his inability to reform on more than one occasion.

Incidentally, is it just me that finds it bizarre that a prison inmate was allowed out on day release to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I also wonder where there might be room for the blighters to be banged up.

Sticking with criminals, an article directed to me by DBA Dude struck me as being a little non-diverse in suggesting that the average scrote has a poor diet based on fast foods. As Baldrick would say, "I have a cunning plan - feed all custodies Double Whoppers and Big Macs. What's that you say ... we already do?"

There's been some good news. With Joanna Yumley at the helm, they couldn't fail.

Some news even gladdens the heart.

Two final snippets. One from the land of make believe and the other unbelievable.

I'm knackered. Off for a lie down.......but in the bare spedroom!

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, September 29, 2008

DJ Macca


Thanks to my wee nephew for spotting this bit of meganews.

Sir Paul and dance music? Wrinklies really should grow old gracefully.

My sources (A1) tell me that the ex Mrs Macca is to release an album too. Intelligence provides that the genre is hip hop.

© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Over-enthusiastic Amateurs


Not my words, but those of the Institute of Occupational Safety and Health.

A while back I posted about the ancient art of conkers.

According to the editorial, the above organisation's sponsoring of this "
life-threatening sport of conkers represents a volte face of quite earth-shattering proportions".

I'm looking forward to some more meaningful volte faces from more important organisations, who might just have had a few decision makers categorised as over-enthusiastic amateurs, but I'm not holding my breath.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, September 15, 2008

Stick it!

I have mentioned before that The Granite City's finances are in a wee pickle just now, but what could have caused a local councillor to spout forth the following?

Councillor Willie Young, of the opposition Labour group, said economising proposals were "plain daft" and declared: "We have to watch that the political lunatics don't take over the asylum. These cuts are irrational and a step too far."

It seems the poor council staff are to be denied their morning brew and much more.

A report was commissioned and recommended that amongst other things,

  • Replacing Post-It notes with “scrap paper”.
Genius!


The report writers then went on to claim, “The plan is based on ensuring we use our resources in a way that reduces our ecological footprint.”

The GMB Union, not surprisingly responded, “Although we appreciate the need for efficiencies, there may be mixed messages that affect staff morale.”

But the final word goes to Willie again, “It will get people’s backs up – you’ve got to be practical.”

Fit?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, August 22, 2008

Perils of Polygamy


Nigeria's Islamic authority has told a man who has 86 wives to choose only four and repent within three days or else he will be sentenced to death.

The former teacher and Muslim preacher lives in Niger State with his wives and at least 170 children, and says he is able to cope only with the help of God.

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

I say, one is too many and how the heck is he still alive?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Arschloch


I was watching the ever wonderful Top Gear this evening, (the last in the current series till the Autumn - boo hoo) when I heard someone swear quite profusely.

No, it wasn't Jay Kay - who was repeatedly
bleeped when he resorted to the vernacular - but the Presenter of Top Gear's German equivalent and in his native tongue.

I anticipate that there will be a hurricane of Mary Whitehoosies, that (like me) can speak a little Deutsch, spitting fire and jamming Auntie Beeb's pabx along with quite a few irate Krauts, Wops and Nips. (If you want to email the Beeb try We1x2@bbc.co.uk or just join the flock and phone).

I am of the opinion that this programme proved the Germans do have a sense of humour (somewhere) by taking part.


It got me thinking though about some of the right clangers I've read this week in the news and other blogs. Anyhow here's a plug for some of my blogtastic comrades who keep the anti PC flag flying high and a few other snippets of daftness from the virtual chip wrappers of tomorrow.

Enjoy.

Scotland's finest!

Perverse Perception.

Being British.

Josie's Joy.

Naughty Nike.

Blunt Message.

A wee Drama.

Like the man said, "Arschloch!"

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, July 24, 2008

O K what have they done to you?



Imagine giving a bairn such a daft moniker (sic).

It's amazing the level to which folk will sink.
Having said that, I know of one poor soul in my parish who has all the surnames of the championship winning Celtic team of his year of birth as his forenames.

Listening to: Tori Amos - Talula
via FoxyTunes

p.s. I did like the choice of B&H though.

© Big Ears

Published by Toy Town™ Times