Viewpoints

The little world of Toytowner's™ most 'famous' inhabitant has been in upheaval and continues to be so. As such I've had little time to update the blog, but here goes with some catch up.

This decision passed with a worldwide whisper once again!

It seems Mrs 'T' was not always a Unionist - well we knew that this side of our border!

I found this article from the Beeb professionally amusing if only for the completely non-diverse nature of the report. Easy now, having a dig at Poles and the Irish all in one article - naughty Auntie.

Some folk will make any excuse for taking a dram.

Certain constituents know just where they are not going to put their 'Y' at the next election.

The nanny state continues unabated with such classics (sic) as this. Keeping on the food tack, this is genuinely more worrying, if of no great surprise.

Equally I worried a bit about the degeneration in what used to be the pillars of society when I read this blurb. Role models? Perhaps they should look no further than the impressive Eddie Izzard.

Finally, for all acrophobics out there this made me wibble and wobble.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

3 sad indictments on modern society

Joe90 posts a belter..... click link and read on.

Rub the lamp, wish for apathy.

0/10 - See me please.

A number of media sources such as the Beeb and in more detail The Independent report today that Unicef research entitled Child Poverty in Perspective: An Overview of Child Well-being in Rich Countries shows that our yoof fare worst out of 21 countries.

That may surprise some and not others, but being bottom of the class is surely an indictment of the failure of the promised policy of Education, Education, Education.

n.b. click on photo for larger size.

Time: 1800hrs. Location: Main St., Toytown

BusyBizzie has posted about Road Pricing and Gridlock.

Armed with my ancient mobi and no-one to happy slap I took this pic tonight on my way home.

My own private bus from the city centre to suburbia!

Is it any wonder the roads are clogged with cars.

And as James Brown would have put it, ecologically speaking that is, "I feel good!"

Canuck Conundrum

The Beeb report (as do Reuters in rather more detail and interest) that new rules contained in a Canadian town council declaration on culture placed on it's website have been branded shocking and insulting by Muslims.

An extract explains:

"We wish to inform these new arrivals that the way of life which they abandoned when they left their countries of origin cannot be recreated here," the declaration reads.

"We consider it completely outside norms to... kill women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, circumcising them etc."

It points out that women are allowed to drive, vote, dance and own their own homes.

OK, I think they have a point this time. Hardly a welcome. if you think you couldn't make this faux pas, test yourself here.

"Easy as picking foxes from a tree"

The Beeb reports that research suggests millions of adults in England have reading skills too poor to enable them to belt out many favourites from a karaoke autocue.

The lyrics of the 10 most popular karaoke songs have been assessed and rated by government literacy experts.

Those tackling Robbie Williams' Angels needed the reading skills required to pass five good GCSEs (Level 2).

Experts from the Get On literacy campaign said 17.8 million adults would not be able to follow the song.

Well blow me, wonder how they would get on with the lyrics of Marc Bolan, Slade, Bowie et al that was all the rage in my teenybob years!

Targeting The Troublespots

Hard on the heels of the mosquito, here comes the latest gizmo to keep our errant youth from pestering us old codgers at the local shops.

Not so pretty in pink?

n.b. See Totally UnPC's post on this here and the mosquito here.

Think Pink

It is reported that authorities in eastern India are painting a crime-infested town pink in the hope that an image makeover will lift the sagging morale of residents who are fed up with the decline in law and order.

With the city's two million residents complaining about poor quality of life and depression due to crime, officials said they had decided to paint the city pink ahead of the Hindu festival of light, Diwali, on October 21.

I'm thinking Burberry check would be nice!

It's happening already.

Mankind's future will be split between a beautiful 'genetic elite' and an underclass of 'goblin' creatures, an expert has predicted.

The full article can be read here, but I noted the following quotes within...

1. "After that, things could get ugly, with the possible emergence of genetic 'haves' and 'have-nots'."
2. "Social skills could be lost, along with emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect."

and wondered if it's not already happening i.e. The Chavs and Chav nots.

Dr Oliver Curry, who has spent two months studying the ascent and descent of Man over the next 100 millennia, thinks the upper class will be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative. But he forecasts an underclass evolved into dim-witted, ugly and squat people, the report said.

Which group will you be/are you* in?

* - delete as appropriate.

Another take on the subject can be read here

Predictions included:

• Physical appearance, driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility, will improve.

• Men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and bigger penises.

• Women will develop lighter skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, even features and smooth hairless skin.

• Racial differences will be ironed out by interbreeding, producing a uniform race of coffee-coloured people.

• Improved nutrition and medical science will see people growing taller and fitter, while life-spans are extended to 120 years.

Something there for everyone!

But, and there's always a but... here's what he predicts humans will look like (admittedly in 10,000 years)

Spiders on Drugs

This link to a piece of research is another great find on the web (sic) by Sergeant Says.

Make sure you check out the link to mental state thereon.

As for Sergeant Says article, I think Foamy has some straightforward advice here.

Tests to reveal ASBO babies

This article just about sums up the way society is going these days. Just a thought but couldn't defence lawyers use this as mitigation.

"......my client was not breast fed. He/she was born effectively with a Burberry cap on."

But now there's another report suggesting the bleedin' obvious which counters the old adage that breast feeding is best, well IQ wise anyway.

Why?

Scotland has the highest suicide rate in the UK, according to figures from the Office for National Statistics.

From 1991 to 2004 the suicide rate among men was 50% higher in Scotland than other UK countries, while the rate for women was double that of elsewhere.

Having, after 5 years, just left a police department that dealt with sudden deaths, I can confirm the figures are appalling, but why? It's a question the bereaved ask anyway in each and every case, but why Scotland? Particularly intriguing is the fact that Shetland 'scores' higher than Scotland in general too. It needs answers and if you want to help (or need it) check out the header link.

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

A Bug's Life

The Ant and the Grasshopper

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END.

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table laden with food.

The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mother’s Party and the Coalition Against Poverty, demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC,interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Ken Livingstone laments, in an interview with Panorama, that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share". In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to Hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council. The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company [funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened with compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).

The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost GB£ 10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operation and terrorise the community.

THE END