Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Lots to catch up on

She who must be obeyed recently observed, "I think we should redecorate the dining room."

Having just recently done the bathroom and master bedroom, I shrugged my shoulders, as only a long suffering married male knows how to, and accepted the inevitable - no help from herself then again!

So there I am during my spring annual leave, hair looking greyer than normal due to silk emulsion splatter, wrestling with paper, paste and bucket. I'm sure it will look gr8 when it's finished .... just as I'm due back to 'work'.

On that note...... Mr Plod is back to Response policing next month. After 5 years away from the coalface and plenty of red meat in the freezer life will be different around these parts!

During my absence the Blues have stuttered at Fulham, where the 'Hand of Drog' was denied by a pacific protest by the Fulham team, breezed past the ickle bruvver's fave Englandshire footie team, where the 'Hand of Drog' went unseen and the skyblues captain was sent off for not giving the Ref 'his' ball back. Pure theatre!!

And just in case you think I am talking through a hole in my posterior....

Sunday Telegraph - 26/03/2006 11:08

"Distin dismissed after Drogba proves a handful"

Mike Dean and the assistant who buzzed him after Didier Drogba had handled before finding the net against Fulham last Sunday were rather faintly praised, I thought, and the players and supporters of Manchester City must have wished these officials had been in charge here. Instead both the referee, Rob Styles, and the relevant linesman failed to discern that Drogba's second goal followed a similar offence.

This is not to accuse either of incompetence; they can only give what they see and the thicket of City arms that appeared as soon as Drogba had made contact could hardly be taken as conclusive evidence. Nor was there any excuse for Sylvain Distin's refusal to hand the ball to the referee at half-time, which, according to the City manager, Stuart Pearce, prompted Styles to flourish a second yellow card and a red.

On this evidence, Distin left Styles with no alternative bar the kind of supine retreat that demeans refereeing. And finally, on the context front, let it be understood that City were never in the match. Not even remotely.

So there was no miscarriage of justice, merely an error that hastened City's relief from the misery of their hope, if any existed, that a display as flaccid as this would be enough to trouble the champions at a home, where they have not lost in the Premiership for 25 months.

Hand ball? No way!!!!

But, my favourite moment has to be finding this pearl......

'Flatulent' Miss Claims £1m

Wednesday March 22, 2006

A female teacher is claiming £1m in damages after she was forced to sit in a chair that made flatulent sounds.

Sue Storer, 48, told an industrial tribunal she was constantly apologising to children, parents and teachers about the rude noises which emanated from her chair every time she moved.

But the school refused to replace the chair, she claimed.

A year later two male deputy heads got new executive chairs.

"It was very embarrassing to sit on," she told the tribunal.

"I asked for a chair that didn't make these very embarrassing farting sounds."

The divorcee claims the the chair problem was just one example of sexist behaviour that undermined her position at Bedminster Down secondary school in Bristol.

She quit her £48,000 a year job last year and is claiming constructive dismissal and sex discrimination.

Whoopee! What will folk think of next to claim for?

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