School's out

There are some obvious reasons why Toy Town's™ Cooncil are somewhat penniless.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Come over here and say that!

Not content with moving Scotland into England, the Yanks are now desecrating our national dress (sic).

Hat Tip to Frank Chalk.

Some Yanks are on the ball, so to speak!

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Defenceless

A few days ago I received an email update from the Burma Campaign as follows:

Dear friend

We are deeply worried by the news that Aung San Suu Kyi is to face trial on Monday. Aung San Suu Kyi was arrested yesterday and is now being held in Insein Prison, a prison notorious for its terrible conditions and horrific treatment of prisoners. Political prisoners in Burma are routinely subjected to torture and often denied medical treatment. We are very concerned for Aung San Suu Kyi’s health in these conditions, particularly as she was seriously ill last week, but denied medical care by the regime.

Aung San Suu Kyi will face trial for supposedly violating the terms of her house arrest, after an American man swam uninvited to her house and refused to leave. She faces a prison sentence of between three and five years.

Now more than ever Aung San Suu Kyi needs our help. Over the past 24 hours politicians, and celebrities across the world have demanded her release. Over 8,000 of our supporters have emailed UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and ASEAN leaders calling for immediate action to secure the release of Aung San Suu Kyi.

TWO ACTIONS FOR AUNG SAN SUU KYI

DEMONSTRATE

On Monday 18th May, there will be a global day of action for Aung San Suu Kyi. We will hold a demonstration between 12 and 1pm in front of the Burmese Embassy in London to demand the release of Aung San Suu Kyi and all of Burma’s political prisoners. Please come and show your support. Find out more here. If you are not in the UK, contact your local Burma Campaign here. (Just don't berate the poor Bobbies there to keep the peace - some of us do support the cause ~ ed.)

SUPPORT OUR WORK

If you can’t join the demonstration, then please help us at this crucial time by making a donation. Supporting us is one of the most effective ways of supporting the struggle to free Burma. You can donate online here.

Aung San Suu Kyi has been detained for more than 13 years just for peacefully calling for freedom and democracy. She urgently needs our help or she faces spending the rest of her life in prison.

Please make a donation today to support our important work.
Thank you for your continued support.

Anna Roberts
Director
Burma Campaign UK

Today, apparently an undercover BBC correspondent in Myanmar has reported that, "People here are very angry."

Angry?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Facebook is racist

Vaguely nationalistic Scottish users of Facebook have long been annoyed that there is no location option for Scottish towns and cities to be identified as in Scotland rather than the United Kingdom.

Unionists will have been OK with that, but Facebook have caused a right stooshie in God's own country as now any Scottish (and I'm led to believe Welsh) city or town is now listed as being in England.

Our American cousins often mistakenly call Great Britain, England, so it is to be expected.......

......... or has Gordon Broon (far are ye fae loon?) sold us off to the south to pay for Westminster's bathplugs and swimming pool repairs?

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Poor Pieman

Only a Dundonian could complain aboot the cost of pehs.

© MacNoddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Priorities?

This has nothing to do with Top Ten crimes etc, but reveals the wonderful world of Karen Matthews' thought processes.

Isn't it heart-warming to know she's loved up again.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

I'll drink to that!

A while back I wrote about problems with funding a local alcohol support service.

I am genuinely glad to hear that the funding has been further supported.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Anyone spot this on a front page?

Cop mowed down by balaclava wearing Scooby driver. Yawn.

NOT VERY NEWSWORTHY IS IT?

Get well soon David.

H/T to the Pink Quine for spotting it in the depths of rural news from south of the border, but on a lighter note she found a cracker from our colleagues in Denmark which surpasses even the flip flops farce.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

What a May Day

Be it Facebook, Twitter or the meeja, abidy is bleetering on aboot and fair chuffed 'at they're ha'en a lang weekend aff. Not for me and yon yins in the Emergency Services.

Enjoy, but be nice, please!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Shake ups

Apparently, I was looking a little dated and I have been revamped for the digital age. I was particularly pleased to hear that "Noddy will also have some new vehicles at his disposal - including a helicopter and a monster truck - to help him get around Toy Town."

The Torygraph goes further and tells me that I will "get to have a few adventures down by the harbour." Anyone who lives in Toy Town™ will know that ain't exactly somewhere I should be adventuring. I'm apparently in line for a submarine too. I know it is alleged to be damp round these parts, but that is taking the p....

Meanwhile, Mr Plod drew this latest result of HMG brainstorming to my attention. He told me a little wee came out when he read it (it's an age thing), especially when he heard Liberty were endorsing it. He also suspects there may well be a little public disappointment at the sentencing.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Too many sherries

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Red alert

It is a well known fact that Scotland has the highest proportion of red haired individuals in the world.

But, be warned. Calling them anything other than strawberry blonde may result in hate crime procedures and anti-discriminatory action.

Having read (sic) the article, I wonder if there might not have been another meaning to the Twitter comments and that might explain the suspension.

And, as a warning, my Central Belt cousins had better come up with a new name for fizzy pop.

Is no one allowed to tease any more?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

True Guardian

I had been keeping my powder dry before launching a vicious assault upon the unbalanced, intemperate, prejudicial, trial by meeja, agenda based, G20 'reporting' by what used to be a respected if badly typo graphed newspaper.

Whilst not wishing to jump on the bandwagon and point out that some folk, with the aforementioned agendas, do not even mention this tragic event at all on their front page - strange that....not, I am genuinely appalled at the general apathy shown towards this matter by all of the media outlets. There are times (sic) when you begin to wonder whether it is all worth it.

So to redress the balance, here's the headline.

TO GARY TOMS' FAMILY, FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES - MY PRAYERS ARE RESERVED FOR YOU TODAY.

Even our Home Secretary cannot bring herself to pass on any form of personal regret or condolence. Sky did manage to be one of the few media outlets to include this somewhat dismissive quote.....

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith said: "Such events highlight the dangers that police officers face every day on the frontline protecting the public."

Now to my editorial notes.....

Like I said, I was keeping my powder dry until the IPCC did its job regarding the various incidents down south, but the camel's back finally broke when a) the media ignored Gary's death b) Sky News jumped onto the Grauniad's bandwagon of intemperate, misleading and unchallenged language in its reporting.

Once upon a time, I took a degree in Politics and Economics. Once upon a time I considered a career as a Journalist. Then I grew up and joined the real world, where actions speak louder than words.

However, my tertiary education wasn't entirely wasted, because one of the fundamental attributes of any scholar should be the ability to analyse impartially any evidence provided to support a case or proposition.

I have been monitoring closely the Grauniad's selective reporting over the G20 matters. It is abundantly clear that they have an Agenda and all their reporting is fixated on 'spinning' their line. There is no impartiality at all and, as such, any support that they may have wished to engender in respect of questioning the Police tactics and role in keeping the peace at such demonstrations, is lost. Any valid points they may have made are now lost in poorly disguised vitriol.

Let's look at the FACTS.

Ian Tomlinson died. Tragedy, for his family and friends.

First PM without the benefit of hindsight and information re 'contact' with Police suggests a heart attack.

Grauniad obtains 'impartial' witness evidence and video of Police 'contact' with Mr Tomlinson. After making hay with same, passes same to IPCC.

Second PM, with hindsight, finds internal bleeding the prime cause of death.

Now, let's look at the possibilities.....

The second PM has, as far as I'm aware, not suggested any cause for the mass bleed.

There was considerable 'contact' with Mr Tomlinson before his death, not all of it reported by the Grauniad. One might be cynical and suggest that this didn't quite fit the 'just walking home' role in the events, so let's just gloss over that shall we.

The family's lawyer has described the videod contact with the TSG officer as follows;

Jules Carey, the lawyer acting for Tomlinson's family, said: "The video footage of the unprovoked and vicious assault on Ian by the police officer would easily justify charges of assault being brought against the officer. The findings of Dr Nat Cary significantly increase the likelihood that the officer will now face the more serious charge of manslaughter."

Is it just me, but how come this lawyer can use the adjectives 'unprovoked' and 'vicious' before the result of the IPCC investigation is published? Similarly, the inflammatory use of 'easily justify charges of assault' is a case of suggesting guilt before the presumption of innocence.

Later in the same article we are advised that there was;

Immediate reaction from politicians to the second postmortem result with demands that the inquiry be pursued as a matter of urgency. Chris Huhne, the Liberal Democrat home affairs spokesman, described it as an "alarming finding". He added: "It suggests that Mr Tomlinson's treatment by the police officer caught on video may have been the final contributing factor in his death. These findings put further pressure on the IPCC to investigate this matter with all urgency." Boris Johnson, the London mayor and chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority, urged the IPCC to be open and quick. "There must now be a fast and transparent conclusion to the IPCC investigation, with the full and urgent cooperation of all involved," he said. "It is vital that everyone takes care not to prejudice either the ongoing IPCC investigation or indeed any future criminal proceedings that may arise. "The Met receive and deserve the overwhelming support of the people of London, but the family of Ian Tomlinson need answers and so do Londoners."

I'm not surprised in the choice of Politicians sought to spout on behalf of the Grauniad and Mr Huhne has an amazing medical and pathology knowledge if he can extrapolate that the last 'contact' can be considered the 'final contributing factor' in Mr Tomlinson's death.

Having said that, Boris gets it spot on for a change! "It is vital that everyone takes care not to prejudice either the ongoing IPCC investigation or indeed any future criminal proceedings that may arise." Couldn't have put it better myself.

Meanwhile over at Sky........

.........Exaggeration is rife.

Oh, and am I being cynical when the term animal rights supporter pops up and I think... no job then to describe yourself by then, eh?

I was tickled by her being upset that a horrible man thing attacked her ladyship though! Does she not know we are totally diverse today when we chose who to thrash the living daylights out of.

All this goes to show is don't believe everything you read in the media and more importantly read between the lines!

Indeed, if the Police do not get any form of reassurance in situations like these that their often thankless job entails difficult split second decisions and reactive action, then those lines may just head off home, because any action seems to meet with an unequal reaction thereafter.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Times are Hard

Once upon a time your city worker would be waving his wadge of multiple sterling notes. Nowadays, it seems all that can be afforded is a tenner.

To quote - "City workers leaned out of windows and waved £10 notes at demonstrators on the streets below, who responded with jeers and shouts."

While I'm on the subject, here's a positive note from the same article -

Sky News security expert Crispin Black said he was very impressed with the way police had defused the situation by refusing to rise to provocation.

"I think the police have been very skilled," he said.

"The way they moved people away from the RBS branch was very clever, and the way the temperature has cooled down there is testament to their skill."

I will be keeping tabs on the happenings down south.

To my colleagues in the Smoke, stay safe and wear a hard hat!

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

News Roundup

April Fool's day came early to Toy Town™ as the local Hazmat incident team swung into full farce.

If weeds could read, they would be killing themselves laughing.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Bottoms Up.

Some time ago, well actually over three years ago, I posted this.

It was my turn recently to reach the wrong side of the half-century.

I was the lucky recipient of a new all singing and dancing laptop (had to be very careful not to spoonerise that one) since my desktop has been upgraded to the max after it was bought in 2000. I also received a fair few bottles of uisge-beatha. I am amazed how folk know what to buy me!

Whilst out for a meal to commiserate with friends (I hired a telephone kiosk), I was advised by one of the assembled crumblies that I was to wait with trepidation for a wee parcel from the Health Board now that I was officially reognised as old and decrepit and apparently therefore a coffin dodger. I was given the heads up in respect of the fact that I would receive a poop collection kit for my good self to send a sample off to check my bowels, colon and other unmentionables were not suddenly collapsing or riddled with some awful disease now that I had reached THAT age.

Now let me assure you that reaching ....... it's still hard to say it...... 'L' will do ...... is painful enough without indeed receiving said kit a mere 3 days after my birthday. Can't they give us a period of grace?

Just to show how grateful I am, I will wait till my effluent is at its most pungent and then despatch it to those who have a really good jobbie! That'll learn 'em.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Freeloading

What with all sorts getting their media free of charge lately I thought I'd be of public service.

Don't know if you've discovered SPOTIFY.

Try it and see why I'm hooked.

If you want to lug in to the sharn I listen to you can click here once you have the software downloaded.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Priorities

200 weeks offered this piece of customer service prioritisation.

I noted that some bloke in our capital city had a few windaes smashed and an accordion was flung round his hoose as the CID descended to investigate.

Now, no doubt there will be a major incident cell set up to investigate this as well. I expect full cooperation from the spooks and thus best value for money for the taxpayer.

I also live in an imaginary world.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

New Charity

I need £300 sharpish.

Any donors out there?

Goodwinner and McNumpty, you have some spare cash I believe.

p.s. I cautioned myself against references to a nip as this might have been considered non-diverse.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Branded.

Those of you who make it to the bottom of my front page (so that would be no-one - ed.) will see that I post a link to the ever wonderful Being 5 comic strip.

Those of you old enough to appreciate the targeted wit involved in this treatise on the generation gap will also grasp the reference to one of Alf Garnett's catchphrases I have utilised as the post header.

The latest strip rightly deserves a top billing.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times