Errorjet - It could only happen in Ireland!

Wrong Airport Blunder

Sky News
Wednesday March 29

A pilot who landed his passenger jet at a military airbase by mistake has been questioned by aviation authorities.

Thirty-nine passengers and six crew were on board the Ryanair flight from Liverpool, which was due to touchdown at City of Derry airport.

But it landed at neighbouring Ballykelly air field - five miles short of its intended destination.

Passengers laughed at first, when the pilot announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have landed at the wrong airport.

"I would ask you to be patient with us."

One passenger said: "I looked out and saw army officers everywhere. It was just unbelievable."

The travellers were eventually coached to the correct destination.

The jet was grounded on the orders of aviation authorities, who demanded an immediate investigation.

Ryanair confirmed the blunder and said, in a statement, that the flight was operated by Eirjet on behalf of Ryanair.

It said: "This incident arose as a result of an error by the Eirjet's pilot who mistakenly believed he was on a visual approach to City of Derry airport."

"The Eirjet pilot was cleared by Air Traffic Control in City of Derry for a visual approach and mistook the nearby Ballykelly for City of Derry."

It added that such a mistake had never happened throughout its 20-year history.

My loon's on stage again

Attic Theatre presents

'BIG' - THE MUSICAL

Aberdeen Arts Centre

Tuesday 13 – Saturday 17 June

at 7.30pm



Book by John Weidman.
Music by David Shire.
Lyrics by Richard Maltby Jr.

The 1987 hit movie bursts onstage in this vibrant, tuneful, funny and touching musical by three of Broadway's modern masters. When frustrated adolescent Josh Baskin wishes he were “big” and wakes up the next morning a 30 year-old man, he discovers there's much more to being an adult than he'd bargained for - and learns we must all grow up at our own pace, in our own time. A witty, moving, insightful book and a dazzling, energetic, heartfelt, contemporary score make this already-classic motion picture fantasy into an unforgettable theatrical experience.

www.attictheatre.co.uk

My youngest loon Ewan has landed a big role in this production of 'Big' to be on later this year in the Aberdeen Arts Theatre.

He will be playing the part of Billy Kopeche. 'Big' started life as a Broadway Musical in 1996 following on from the film released in 1988.

Well done Ewan.

Why is anyone still using Internet Explorer? ..... and why I use Firefox

Why is anyone still using Internet Explorer? - click here for full article.

Opinion | OK, how many times must Internet Explorer be ripped open like a hot 16-year old in a summer slasher movie before people finally get it: IE is not safe. Period. End of statement. eWeek

March 28, 2006 12:58 PM PST

Lots to catch up on

She who must be obeyed recently observed, "I think we should redecorate the dining room."

Having just recently done the bathroom and master bedroom, I shrugged my shoulders, as only a long suffering married male knows how to, and accepted the inevitable - no help from herself then again!

So there I am during my spring annual leave, hair looking greyer than normal due to silk emulsion splatter, wrestling with paper, paste and bucket. I'm sure it will look gr8 when it's finished .... just as I'm due back to 'work'.

On that note...... Mr Plod is back to Response policing next month. After 5 years away from the coalface and plenty of red meat in the freezer life will be different around these parts!

During my absence the Blues have stuttered at Fulham, where the 'Hand of Drog' was denied by a pacific protest by the Fulham team, breezed past the ickle bruvver's fave Englandshire footie team, where the 'Hand of Drog' went unseen and the skyblues captain was sent off for not giving the Ref 'his' ball back. Pure theatre!!

And just in case you think I am talking through a hole in my posterior....

Sunday Telegraph - 26/03/2006 11:08

"Distin dismissed after Drogba proves a handful"

Mike Dean and the assistant who buzzed him after Didier Drogba had handled before finding the net against Fulham last Sunday were rather faintly praised, I thought, and the players and supporters of Manchester City must have wished these officials had been in charge here. Instead both the referee, Rob Styles, and the relevant linesman failed to discern that Drogba's second goal followed a similar offence.

This is not to accuse either of incompetence; they can only give what they see and the thicket of City arms that appeared as soon as Drogba had made contact could hardly be taken as conclusive evidence. Nor was there any excuse for Sylvain Distin's refusal to hand the ball to the referee at half-time, which, according to the City manager, Stuart Pearce, prompted Styles to flourish a second yellow card and a red.

On this evidence, Distin left Styles with no alternative bar the kind of supine retreat that demeans refereeing. And finally, on the context front, let it be understood that City were never in the match. Not even remotely.

So there was no miscarriage of justice, merely an error that hastened City's relief from the misery of their hope, if any existed, that a display as flaccid as this would be enough to trouble the champions at a home, where they have not lost in the Premiership for 25 months.

Hand ball? No way!!!!







But, my favourite moment has to be finding this pearl......

'Flatulent' Miss Claims £1m

Wednesday March 22, 2006

A female teacher is claiming £1m in damages after she was forced to sit in a chair that made flatulent sounds.

Sue Storer, 48, told an industrial tribunal she was constantly apologising to children, parents and teachers about the rude noises which emanated from her chair every time she moved.

But the school refused to replace the chair, she claimed.

A year later two male deputy heads got new executive chairs.

"It was very embarrassing to sit on," she told the tribunal.

"I asked for a chair that didn't make these very embarrassing farting sounds."

The divorcee claims the the chair problem was just one example of sexist behaviour that undermined her position at Bedminster Down secondary school in Bristol.

She quit her £48,000 a year job last year and is claiming constructive dismissal and sex discrimination.

Whoopee! What will folk think of next to claim for?

Did I mention before that this would happen?

Next it will be health warnings and adults banned from eating Chocolate Bars etc......

Junk food ads to be banned from kids' TV

By SEAN POULTER, Daily Mail 08:06am 27th March 2006

TV watchdogs aim to ban junk food adverts during children's programmes.

Ofcom will outline plans tomorrow to stop unhealthy foods being advertised on children's television.

This will prevent firms from targeting children by using cartoon characters and celebrities such as Gary Lineker, David Beckham and Britney Spears.

Health and consumer groups criticised the proposals, insisting they do not go far enough.

It is expected Ofcom will ban advertising foods high in fat, salt and sugar from early morning - before children go to school - through until 6pm, and possibly 7.30pm.

Banned products would include takeaway burgers, chicken nuggets, fries, sugarcoated puffed oats, such as Sugar Puffs, Corn Flakes, which are relatively high in salt, crisps, cola and other sugary drinks. Health campaigners want ads for all foods that are high in fat, salt and sugar banned until after the 9pm watershed.

This could outlaw Cadbury's from continuing its sponsorship of Coronation Street.

The ban would also affect McDonalds, Kellogg's, Walker's crisps, Pepsi and Coca-Cola.

Cartoon characters, pop music and images of youngsters tucking into the snacks are all used in adverts.

Promotions or competitions involving computers games, pop music, theme parks and films are also used.

Brands such as Kelloggs' Coco Pops have been successful pitching their adverts at children. Coco Pops are fronted by the cartoon character Coco the monkey, who sings the advertising jingle and leads children through games on the cereal's website.

Ofcom has been told by the Government to draw up a regime that will control the advertising of unhealthy food.

But the watchdog has previously indicated it believes there is little value in controls and supports minimum regulation.

The proposals would be based on voluntary regulation with the industry. Government ministers have threatened to force a crackdown with a change in the law if changes are not implemented.

Groups such as the National Heart Forum and food and health lobbyists Sustain believe controls must go beyond children's programmes.

Richard Watts of Sustain said: "The statistics show that about 70 per cent of commercials during children's viewing are for food. Of these, something like 80-100per cent are for junk.

"These are the wrong messages to send children at a time when we are seeing an increase in weight problems."

Over the past 10 years, obesity among six-year-olds has doubled and trebled among 15-year-olds. And obesity diseases, such as type 2 diabetes, are now being seen for the first time in children.

Jane Landon, deputy chief executive of the NHF, said: "The watershed for allowing the advertising of foods high in fat, salt and sugar should be 9pm."

Programmes targeted at children tend to be broadcast in the morning, at lunchtime and in the afternoon when pupils have returned home.

The ban would also apply to the entire output of dedicated children's television stations including the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon.

Ofcom has described a 9pm watershed as the "nuclear option", warning it would have a disastrous effect on the income of some commercial TV channels.

Another possibility would be to outlaw all food advertising - even healthy products - before a watershed. This would stop junk food manufacturers being singled out for a ban.

National Consumer Council food expert Sue Dibb said: "Anything less than full restrictions on all TV ads and promotions for high fat, salt and sugar foods before the 9pm watershed will be extremely disappointing."

The British Medical Association and backbench Labour MPs also support a total ban on junk food adverts.

Dr Vivienne Nathanson, head of science and ethics at the BMA, said: "Children and parents are surrounded by the marketing of unhealthy cereals, snacks and processed meals. This has to stop."

The Food & Drink Federation rejected the need for restrictions. A spokesman said: "Any simplistic scheme that demonises products does-n't take into account the complexity of people's lifestyles and the way they eat."

The UK boss of McDonalds, Peter Beresford, has made clear that he rejects TV advertising restrictions. He says McDonald's is not to blame for rising obesity, adding: "There is no good food or bad food, only bad diets."

Tech Support III

Foamy is back with his 3rd call to the Indian Sub-Continent.

More Squirrely wrath!

Jogging your way to saggy breasts

Click here for link - thanks to ickle bruvver

p.s. ickle bruvver is a ickle bit less ickle today!!! Happy Birthday loon.

0001 Hours Thursday 9th March

Q. Is he grabbing one or throwing one away?







A. Neither.... just adding one more to this loon's 'dartboard'

Champions League

I have come to the conclusion that this is one very strange competition.

Last year Liverpool, the poorest of the side's representing Englandshire's Premier League, go all the way.

This year the poorest side is still left in the competition and no doubt will go all the way as well.

What is happening?

Not For The Faint-Hearted

A Scotch whisky firm is following a 17th century recipe for its latest offering - a bottle that is 92% alcohol.

The Bruichladdich distillery on the west coast island of Islay is only producing 12 barrels of the 184-proof whisky. The 92% alcohol drink is as strong as whisky can get without being sold in a chemist's shop. A 1695 description of the whisky carries a health warning. It says: "The first taste affects all the members of the body. "Two spoonfuls of this liquor is a sufficient dose. If any man should exceed this, it would presently stop his breath, and endanger his life." Bruichladdich said it would install webcams so customers thirsty with anticipation could watch the potentially lethal concoction being matured. But the firm said this would only happen "if the distillery doesn't explode during the process".

Blondes are Finnished

Cavemen Prefer Blondes

So gentlemen prefer blondes? Our ancestors thought so too, according to scientists.

A study claims blondes are no more than a trick of evolution to get hold of the elusive caveman.

Men were in particularly short supply at the end of the Ice Age 11,000 years ago.

They had to go off on long, dangerous expeditions to search for food - and they often didn't come back.

So, using female ingenuity to address the problem, women developed blonde hair and blue eyes to entice men.

But men are in for some bad news.

The report says blondes are on their way out.

With no shortage of men to choose from, the blonde gene is becoming ever rarer.

The World Health Organisation estimates the last natural blonde will be born in Finland in 2202.

Absolutely No Smoking Day Looms

Please visit here if you want to give in ..... sorry ....... up

For some light hearted views on this impending nannification, please view the attached links.

• Carpet Fitter
• The real victims
• Referrer
  

Ossie - R.I.P.

A very sad day.

I first saw CFC and Ossie when I was ten.

He was a legend then and always will be.

Britain's first case of Bird Flu

Thanks to June for this and here's a little extra from me.........

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.....

Bear says: "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear."

Lion says: "And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me."

Chicken says: "Big deal. I only have to cough, and the entire planet poops its pants"

Spring is here....NOT!

It's officially springtime, but anything like it outside. Having just shovelled the path and cleared the good 4" of new and additional overnight snow off the car for the Mrs, I am now happily supping a hot cup of tea as it heaps more snow on my path. Thankfully I go back to work tomorrow at 7am, so I will be spared the frosty task I've dutifully carried out for the last two days, that is if the bus is running at 6.15am tomorrow! Wonder who will look after the youngest 'cos his skool is shut again so that all those poor teechurz don't get themselves in a spin trying to get to work.

Just a passing comment - If there was this much sna in London's leafy suburbs, do you think it would be relegated as a news byline?

Once upon a time..........

Kanye West

I am amazed that this sort of happening rates so low on the Beeb's front page news - what is this country coming to when we take the discharge of guns (presumably illegally held) so lightly.....?

Here's the text from the article, but click here for original:

Two stewards have been shot during a concert held by rapper-producer Kanye West at the NEC in the West Midlands.

Police say the shootings took place after people who tried to gain entrance without tickets were escorted from the arena near Birmingham on Tuesday.

The stewards are still being treated, but their injuries are not thought to be life-threatening.

Detectives have asked for anyone who saw anything unusual at the concert to come forward.

West Midlands Police were called to the NEC Arena just after 2200 GMT on Tuesday.

Officers say that firearms were discharged when those who tried to get in without a ticket were escorted from the premises and they reached the front entrance.

The singer from Atlanta, Georgia, made a name for himself in the rap world as a producer, and then launched his own recording career.

He first rose to prominence during the late 90s, when he produced hit albums for Foxy Brown, Beanie Sigel, and Ma$e's Harlem World.

In October 2002, he was nearly killed when he was driving back to his hotel after a recording session, and he was involved in a car accident in Los Angeles. It left him with his jaw fractured in three places.

Kanye West was performing the last night of his five-date Touch The Sky tour in the UK.

A police spokesman said: "This incident involved individuals who had been ejected from the venue for attempting to try to gain entrance to a pop concert without tickets.

"Firearms were discharged and two stewards were taken to hospital with gunshot wounds. Their injuries are not believed to be life-threatening."