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Posts

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Doctors keep man alive shock.


OK, but isn't this what Doctors are supposed to do. Mean that, keeping the poor man alive.

.... and by the way this man would get my vote. I nearly fell off my chair when I read it.

Paul Martin, Labour's justice spokesman, commenting said: "So many times, people seem to be more interested in the civil liberties of the individual rather than those of the majority. There were hundreds of people at the airport that day, what about their civil liberties?"


Now that really is a shock.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, July 27, 2007

Garden Patrol Over


Some things never change.

That's me completed my first nightshift back at work after my leave. Spent two nights chained to a desk writing up cases and statements that were deemed 'late' due to my absence. Don't other people have holidays?


Managed an obligatory 'domestic' custody and a few other minor matters in an otherwise blessedly quiet four days. Gazza, are you taking note?

Best call of the week was to the wonderfully Council monickered 'Garden Estate' of Toy Town™, where apparently there was a flower plucker on the rampage. Having asked the dispatcher to confirm just what he had just said hoping for a spoonerism and failing to catch him out, but at least lightening the mood of my colleagues, we sped to the herbaceous bountifulness of the southside sink to travel down the only road where not even a pot plant (and you can take that any way you like!) was to be seen. Obviously this street was the patio and slab area of the garden estate!

Never did find the flower plucker either.

Well off to enjoy the last of my 7 weekends off on the trot by cutting the grass, given that it's the first dry day for weeks and Big Ears keeps telling me it's like a jungle out there.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

For the Record


Glasgow Airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".

Apparently it was taxed, insured and the radio was still in it.



© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Shocking Pink


I was just pottering about on the net and, in amongst the various feeds I subscribe to, I came across a wee article in the Register.

I am no expert, but apparently you ladies like nothing better than to shop till you drop for any designer item as long as it is pink.

Well here's the latest. I suppose it would be the ideal and somewhat cryptic revenge for being regularly prodded with something pink by members of the male species.

© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Silence, Please - The Result.


I posted earlier about recent research into the most stressful occupations.

The
Poll is now closed and the results can be obtained by clicking the previous hyperlink.

As suspected there were a couple of folk who couldn't resist checking the answer out and swicking, either that or someone reads this whilst working as a Librarian and knew the answer first hand.

n.b. Due to a technical hitch, the winners of the competition for giving the correct answer have not been properly identified and we have given the prize to a valued member of the production staff. Big Ears says he is most grateful for the new gloves, what with the Arctic temperatures outside in Toytown.

The responses received were predictable given that this is a site Polis visit, but there were surprisingly low votes for the other categories and the 'real answer' scored lowest.

You know being a Librarian is also a dangerous job.

Good grief, my sarcastic tone is awfully like someone else I could mention.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wishing (If I Had A Photograph Of You)


Polis - "Can you describe the thief?

Staff - "They all look the same to me. He just flew off."


Polis - "Oh well at least it's on CCTV, maybe someone will be able to identify the culprit so there's nothing to get in a flap about. We'll soon have the shoplifter up before the beak and doing some bird."



© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, July 20, 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Taking the Mick too far


All I'm going to say about this article is - oh heck no - I have a lot to say about this article.

I will quote from his lengthy rambling article;

"
I've just been invited to the Mini Clubman launch in September and it's going to be staged in a location that I can only describe as bizarre and inappropriate &chilly, uninviting, out on a limb Aberdeen, Scotland of all places." (Good grammar by the way).

Mr Rutherford;

  1. Have you ever been to Scotland?
  2. Have you ever been to Aberdeen?
  3. Do you expect to be welcome?
  4. Who do you think is the Mini's target audience? There's two at the neighbour's across the road and one next door.
  5. My first 2 cars were Minis.
  6. Minis are great fun when the roads are icy/snowy/wet as they always are up here.
  7. You clearly have your head stuck up your posterior.
Feel free to let him know what you think!

Nuff said.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Badgering Basra


I have posted before about the use of beasties in the ongoing tit-for-tat that is the war against terrorism and plainly the Brits have got in first again over there in the middle-east, this time utilising Badgers.

However, the Beeb reports that in typical Brit style 'we' have denied any knowledge.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Considerate Builder



Apparently that's me according to the test I just took spotted by the ASDA Annihilator on the Mr Police Man blog written by a Polisman across the Pond in California.

It's quite spookily accurate and a sight more time consuming than my previous offering, which was nonetheless pretty accurate too.

Try them both and see if you recognise your TRUE self. So no swicking.

Here's what my report said in detail rather than the square thingy. (N.B. If you're reading this in RSS then you might not see the square thingy so come on over to my place to see it).

I am a Builder

I am detail-oriented, cautious, and practical, making me a BUILDER.

I am excellent at focusing on the concrete, functional elements of things, so I'm good at making things happen.

Pursuing novel ways of doing things helps me to be efficient.

I am great to have on a team, as I understand how things work and don't let my ego get in the way.

I am perceptive, down-to-earth, and realistic.

I don't see a need to commit to a set routine or schedule - I'd rather improvise a little.

Although I may doubt myself sometimes, I have the skills and the curiosity to pursue broader adventures.

I like to consider a lot of information before making big decisions, and I think about that information in realistic, thorough ways.

I don't concern myself with flashy styles or surface appearances - I am far too sensible for that.

About me:

I am not afraid to let my emotions guide me, and I am generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

I prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

Never one to be found in chic boutiques or trendy clothing stores, I take an extremely practical approach to getting dressed.

I tend to believe that things happen for a reason, and that not everything is under our control.

If I want to be different:

Think more abstractly about things without abandoning my valuable sensibility.

How I relate to others:

I am Considerate

I trust others, care about them, and am slow to judge them, making me CONSIDERATE.

I value my close relationships very much, and am more likely to spend time in small, tightly-knit groups of friends than in large crowds.

I enjoy exploring the world through observation, quietly watching others.

Relating to others so well, and understanding their emotions, leads me to trust people in general, even though I am somewhat shy and reserved at times.

My belief that people are generally well-intentioned contributes to my sympathy regarding their problems.

Although I may not vocalise it often, I have an awareness of how society affects individuals, and I understand complex causes of people's behaviour.

I like to look at all sides of a situation before making a judgement, particularly when that situation involves important things in other people's lives.

My close friends know me as a good listener.

If I want to be different:

Because other people would benefit immensely from my understanding and insight, I should try to be more outgoing in social situations, even when they make me uncomfortable. Others will want to hear what I have to say! (Honest, that's what it said).


My Personality Chart

This chart shows thirteen personality traits. Each bar indicates the percentage of test takers who entered a lower value for that trait than I did. For example, if Confidence is at 80, that means that 80% of people entered lower values for confidence questions than I did. Based on a sample of 30,000 users.

Click here to learn more about the traits.

Confidence - 10%
Openness - 70%
Extroversion - 26%
Empathy - 64%
Trust in others - 78%
Agency - 6%
Masculinity - 78%
Femininity - 58%
Spontaneity - 22%
Attention to style - 10%
Authoritarianism - 30%
Earthy v Imaginative - 70% towards earthy
Aesthetic v Functional - 14% towards functional


I designed my own test and here is the additional result:

Wired to the Moon - 100%

Enough, you know too much about me already!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Terrorists - a laughing matter


Three newspaper articles got me thinking about how we view terrorists in this country.

First off there was the report in the Grauniad fearing that the newly convicted 21/7 bombers will radicalise other prison inmates, which kind of
suggests the next report from the Daily Mail, where one of their lawyers believes terror fanatics should have prisoner of war status is a non-starter. Amazing proposal really, because it would fully justify the USA's vindication of Gitmo and we all know that terrorists like to play by the rules.


Lastly, and my favourite is a piece in the Grauniad again which suggests making fun out of the situation is healthy. Now I would have to agree, wouldn't I?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Fur coat an' nae knickers


A decidedly Scottish angle to today's first post courtesy of the Beeb.

Now no Scot would ever think of a resident of the nation's capital as being snotty, snooty perhaps.

Up our way we have a lot of clever people with SW07 and Dundee has an acne problem with SP07. The weegies have the oh so original SC07 and the more appropriate SH07.

I also think the staff at the DVLA in Swansea are having a chuckle at Cardiff's expense what with the allocation of CL07!

© SC07COP
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Has the world gone nuts?


I actually thought it was the 1st April when I read this report from Sky News.

My good friend Foamy will have something to say about this I'm sure.

I know that there is deep mistrust between the West and the Iranians these days, but I have to say I think this is a tale too far.

Expect Al Quaida trained futret suicide squads to strike back. You have been warned.

n.b. Foamy can be a bit 'naughty'!





© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Reaction Plan


As promised - Part Two of the anecdote.

Basically, I aim to show that there are many ways to skin a cat.

Well, it turns out that the stripey had the 'real' story, the problem being that the hard stand the chopper was now chewing up with its rotors was located in front and off to the side of the public entrance to the terminal and surrounded by car parking areas. When the chopper had tipped over the blades shot off alarmingly slicing into about a dozen cars and the frontage of the terminal building.

This was very quickly established by the first unit attending as they were not airside at the RVP, where they would have had no view of the incident given that it is the other side of the runway and airport. A quick check to see no-one was injured and then brief contact with some shaky airport staff, customers and car owners and suddenly the decision is made for all and sundry to go to the RVP as it is now a declared 'ground incident'. Puzzled onlookers ponder the disappearance en masse of all the blues and twos.

Anyhow it all resolves itself and the Polis slowly return to the terminal to chat to the staff and car owners about their damaged vehicles. Matter closed. Or so you might think.

Well not quite. Pondering the scenarios, those blessed with retrospective 20-20 vision decided to pick the bones of the incident and criticise the Polis for sending abidy to the terminal area for an aircraft incident and decide Noddy is to be blamed for not activating the correct procedure and not sending them to the RVP. Bloody marvellous. I must remember to dust off my crystal ball. I patiently explained the circumstances that being that at no time during the initial call and my interrogation of the caller and airport authorities did they mention something happening within the confines of the airport termed as airside. Therefore the incident had to be responded to as if it was at any similar public place and you 'go see', however much that puts you near to danger. After all that's our job isn't it to protect life and property? Apparently this didn't wash well with the far-sighted one's who decreed that any such incident should have been responded to by use of an action plan which RVP'd the response. I cannot see how that made sense even today.

Me angry?


Picture Glesga now. All the blues and two's somewhere over the other side of the airport waiting for the 'Smeatonator' and the general public to banjo the perpetrators before they turn up, eventually, once everybody gets the picture nice and clear. Sometimes you have to react to what you see and wing it. Best laid plans and all that......



© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Action Plan


What with all the palaver at Glesga Airport, I thought you might be interested in a true anecdote from my Control Room daze.

Another Constable has posted about Full Emergencies etc. and Bloggshe has posted on SOPs. At the time of the incident I wish to retell we had 'Action Plans'. Basically, once you had decided what type of major incident it was, you selected an Action Plan and 'hey presto' the computer system attached a number of idiot-proof tasks for you to complete, including all the vital ones where you tell this gaffer and that gaffer all about what has happened and they are supposed to do what they have to do.

After the latest incident, where the co-ordination and pre-planning of the emergency services et al was praised for dealing smoothly and efficiently with the matter and its aftermath, although I rather suspect 'we' rather winged it, my own wee tale shows just how things can be different and not so simple. Having said that, three points spring to mind;

  1. What did the people first on scene think was happening?
  2. The local Plod should have, according to SOPs, disengaged himself from assisting at the scene, arresting miscreants etc. and acted as the Incident Officer and reported all and sundry to his Control Room - aye right!
  3. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Here is my scenario - mid 1990's. Decide what you would have done?

999 call - "There's flying metal striking the airport terminal, cars are damaged outside, the terminal is damaged. I don't know what's happened. It's like an explosion."

Me - Action Plan selected - possible explosion at airport, not airside. Despatch units to terminal, alert Fire Service and Ambulance, contact Airport Control, advise Airport Police, Duty Inspector (Gadgety type - so he attends!) and Control Room Inspector. Await update. Airport Control are none the wiser and ask us for an update!

Meanwhile, the Control Room Sergeant gets another call (hence why he doesn't acknowledge my shout about the call I'm dealing with) alerting him to what is called a 'Ground Incident' at the airport.

He decides on the Action Plan for Ground Incident - Airside. His tasks need him to alert the Fire Service, Ambulance, Police units, Airport Police, Duty Inspector and the Control Room Inspector.

Confusion reigns. I've 'nicked' all the available units and the boss man to go to my call and the stripey wants them at the airport RVP. Bear in mind Police and other emergency service units are not meant to go anywhere else other than the RVP for an airside incident.

Stripey stands up and hollers across the room at me asking me what the feck I'm doing with all 'my' units and he needs them for 'his' call. He explains he has a helicopter, rotors whizzing, effectively capsizing on a helipad.

It's like poker as I trump him with my explosion and flying metal scenario. He folds.

Part two later...... in which I reveal all.


© Mr Plod

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Decision time


Just in case you are wondering, given the last post, Noddy has not flipped, not yet anyway.

I just wished to draw your attention to a post by TUPC entitled 'Split second decision'.

Already there are nearly 60 comments and rising. Go check it out and be honest, what would you do?


© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Chilled!


Noddy has advised me that after a week off his work on holiday he has at last managed to chill sufficiently and forget about work.

It is only when you stop that you realise just how stressed and caught up you were in your job.

Mr Plod can apparently now be forgotten about for another two weeks.

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

If you can't do the time....


.... don't do the crime could be the best way to sum this report's findings up.

I have my sympathies for the weans left behind when mothers commit crime, but to suggest that because you are of a certain gender excuses you from the level playing ground of custodial sentencing, is somewhat bizarre.

Your thoughts are welcome.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Bard


The last word ....

When the car ignited and the bomber ran from the vehicle jabbering insanely, he suddenly exclaimed,"Poor wee cowerin', timerous beastie."


At which point it became apparent to all how bad his Burns was!

Update:

Given that it appears that Kafeel (unfortumate name in Scots) Ahmed is unlikely to survive his burns, here is a poem from Rabbie that is probably appropriate.

Remorse: A Fragment

Of all the numerous ills that hurt our peace,
That press the soul, or wring the mind with anguish
Beyond comparison the worst are those
By our own folly, or our guilt brought on:
In ev'ry other circumstance, the mind
Has this to say, "It was no deed of mine:"
But, when to all the evil of misfortune
This sting is added, "Blame thy foolish self!"
Or worser far, the pangs of keen remorse,
The torturing, gnawing consciousness of guilt-
Of guilt, perhaps, when we've involved others,
The young, the innocent, who fondly lov'd us;
Nay more, that very love their cause of ruin!
O burning hell! in all thy store of torments
There's not a keener lash!
Lives there a man so firm, who, while his heart
Feels all the bitter horrors of his crime,
Can reason down its agonizing throbs;
And, after proper purpose of amendment,
Can firmly force his jarring thoughts to peace?
O happy, happy, enviable man!
O glorious magnanimity of soul!

© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Special Branch Turn?


Fit like abidy?

Large Lugs here in from the garden with another of my occasional
wise observations.

I nearly weed myself reading this report from Sky News.

Barking. Completely barking!

I'm stumped at how stupid some of you humans can be sometimes. Anyway, it was good to see that the dyed money nipped the problem in the bud so to speak.

I think he should get the birch.

What a prune.

© Big Ears
Published by Toy Town™ Times

My God an iPod


....... or Jukebox Jury?

I couldn't quite decide which byline to use, but either way, it just goes to show how far these little 'toys' have permeated all areas of society.

I wager that this errant young lassie will come to realise just how fundamental Jury Service is as part of a British Citizen's duty.

However, I wonder how much the apparent religious affiliation of the perpetrator had to do with the media interest in this incident. If it had been a chavette in a hoodie would it be so news worthy? Amusing yes, but I cannot help but think that there is an underlying agenda in the reporting.


I rather suspect her fascination with technology and rock'n'roll might not go down so well with her own religion's elders, but it is not as if I haven't suffered the onslaught of modern technology coupled with ancient belief systems, such as when living in an Islamic country I was woken at 5am by Muezzins calling the faithful to prayer from minarets bedecked with multiwatt amplified speakers that wouldn't have looked out of place at Glastonbury. Give me a merry bunch of campanologists any day!

Anyway, help is at hand for the poor wee lassie.

Nevertheless,
when the sentencing time comes round I can almost hear the Judge uttering those immortal words of Brummie Janice Nicholls from the contemporary programme 'Spin a Disc', "I'll give it five."

p.s.


Those clever 'Jobbers' have also come up with the latest gizmo for British Airways' check-in staff.



© Chill Bill

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, July 09, 2007

Silence, Please


Quiet please and pay attention. Time to concentrate.

Are you sitting comfortably and ready to go?

Then have a look at my sidebar and add your choice on the poll for the most stressful occupation.

Once you have, (i.e. nae swicking) you can check this out.

Surprised?

Marks out of ten?
Did you pass?
Do you need medical attention or ......
..... someone to shout at?

There's enough clues so don't think you are a swot getting it right
by reading (sic) the answer first!

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Is it safe to go on holiday?


I have posted previously about whether it is safe to go away on holiday leaving your house to the care of your teenage kids.

Given the fact that I have on numerous occasions gone downstairs to be greeted by a smell emananting from the front door so pungent that I think the dog has died in her snoozee bed, this report of an incident our German colleagues attended has me even more worried, and that's before I think of the problems at the airports.

I will leave the loon strict instructions (again) to leave his footwear in the box provided for same (Yes, they are that bad!) and how to use the washing machine.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, July 06, 2007

Pricks with needles


No, nothing to do with needle stick injuries, but it is a full grown shambles.

It would appear that the current state of the NHS has much to do with the recent terrorist activities both sides of the border.

Not content with having so few trained Doctors that they have to hire Al Quaida cell members, now it would appear, in an unintended blow to the terrorists planning, faulty NHS syringes stopped the two London bombs igniting.

Makes you confident and proud of the good old NHS doesn't it.

I'm sure I could have given them a hint on where to get some reliable gear.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Making a Titchmarsh of yourself


Fit like abidy? Large Lugs here with one of my occasional wise observations.

I was just popping in from the garden when I caught a glimpse of Saving Planet Earth on the Beeb.

Anyone else find it ironic that in the middle of a park* we find Mr Titchmarsh sat upon a leather armchair?

I know cows aren't especially endangered (in danger perhaps), but given the general gist of the programme, isn't that a little insensitive?

* - Scots for field.

© Big Ears

Published by Toy Town™ Times

XXX 4 U


Pucker up ladies, it's National Kissing Day.

I'm sticking my neck out tonight - since it's the weekend!

Virtual pecks accepted.

Who thinks up these daft ideas?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Picture This


In the midst of severe terrorist threats, rising interest rates, flooding, Kate and Wills et al, what do the people at The Sun think should be front page news?

Bestiality..... and then we'll have 'fun' with some corny puns. Must be a slow Friday. I will not be yoked into such low behaviour.

Seen below is our heifer humper making a quick getaway.



© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times




Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Unusual Uses for Watermelons


Picture the scene.


You are woken from a deep sleep by your pet puppy yelping and another dog snarling and set to attack your little ball of fluff.

What do you do?

Well if you live in China you throw watermelons at it and then sink your teeth into - no, not the other watermelons you keep by your bed, but the attacking mutt's neck till it dies.

Don't believe me?

Check this report out from Sky News.

Over here you'd expect a visit from the SSPCA if you did that.










Imagine - throwing fruit at animals. Who'd have thought it?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Local Hero


A timely email is doing the rounds - it goes something like this:

Glasgow v America

If this had happened at a US airport as compared to Glasgow would these be some of the Eyewitness accounts?


America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life. I thought I was gonna die, he got so close to me."


Glasgow: "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him."

America: "I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a feckin' plane!"

America: "There was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was hapening, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Feck this fir a kerry oan, maun, we'll get a pint in."

America: "We thought he was gonna blow us all up. He had a gas canister and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran for my life."

Glasgow: "A swaggered by the motor that wis on fire and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis 'n fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws."

America: "There was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis like that."

America: "I'm too traumatised even to speak, I thought I was gonna die."

Glasgow: "Here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it."

& finally, two genuine quotes from a real eye-witness aka John Smeaton.

  1. ITV news. The interviewer asked, "What message do you have for the bombers?" Smeaton replied, "This is Glasgow, we'll just set about you."
  2. CNN. The interviewer asked, "How did you restrain the guy?" Smeaton replied, "Me and other folk were just tryin tae get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him."
Jock Public gaun yersel! No jumping up and down up here.

Pure class so it is, by the way.


© Chill Bill
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Gazateer freed


Alan Johnston said in my favourite quote from various reports, "I think three years of Gaza as a correspondent followed by four months of kidnap in Gaza is probably more Gaza than most people need in their lives and I do not think I will be going back for some time."

But, it is good news for his family and mixed emotions for him as reported by The Economist.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Goofy says "Hi" to Cuddles


There's nothing more embarrassing than being 'hoisted by your own petard'.

Having been spared visitation by 'Cuddles' previously, he has been 'brave' enough to leave a comment here, which I have not moderated.

I replied. Feel free to comment if you can be bothered to joust with this merchant banker or if you want to show your righteous respect for Jon's memory

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Moustache Mystique


I was making one of my regular visits to the ever wonderful spdk blog and found that they too have a flickr™ page showing their SMT in their finest outfits (not a hiviz to be seen).

Pictured here are the Sooper himself and the Woman's Police Station (sic) boss.

Check the photos out.

Other than these two, it appears that part of the IPS uniform is an obligatory moustache, unless you have a crown (oops, bit too colonial there) on your shoulder or you are of the fairer sex.


Mind you the WPI looks like ..... well you decide.


© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Mr Happy


Holiday time has arrived.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

I refuse to believe this


There's bin an affa lot o' rubbish in the news lately aboot foreigners coming o'er to oor toons and makkin a richt stoor o' oor public places, but ken fit , 'is really is dirty tricks, the rotten Bulgars.

I wis thinkin' we could fire o'er oor finest Jock Public to wheelie sort 'is crimewave oot. He could gie the local polis a hand again and help them get a few clean ups en 'a. Maybe he'll get the gang leader, Bin Hiden.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, July 02, 2007

What does a Scotsman wear over his kilt?


I missed this report in the Register.

Damn, that's my cute futret sporain banned then. Where am I going to put my uisge-beatha?

I take it that it is still OK for me to have a dagger stuck down my sock though?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Lest we forget


What with all that's going on in the rest of the country, let's spare a moment again for Jon Henry's kith and kin on the day of his funeral.

It is just under a month ago that Jon met an untimely death and our prayers and thoughts should be for his soul, as Joe90 beautifully put it:


And I never passed a cry for help,

though at times I shook with fear
and sometimes, God, forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place,
among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
except to calm their fear.
There was silence all around the throne,
where saints had often trod,
as the policeman waited quietly,
for the judgement of his God.
Step forward now Policeman.
You've borne your burdens well.
Come walk a beat on heaven's streets,
you've done your time in hell.

then his passing from this earth will be only to a better place.

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times