Why?

Scotland has the highest suicide rate in the UK, according to figures from the Office for National Statistics.

From 1991 to 2004 the suicide rate among men was 50% higher in Scotland than other UK countries, while the rate for women was double that of elsewhere.

Having, after 5 years, just left a police department that dealt with sudden deaths, I can confirm the figures are appalling, but why? It's a question the bereaved ask anyway in each and every case, but why Scotland? Particularly intriguing is the fact that Shetland 'scores' higher than Scotland in general too. It needs answers and if you want to help (or need it) check out the header link.

Time to eat humble pie

Well for the second seaon in a row the 'Smogmonsters' done for us. The grinning eejit wasn't long in communicating his glee! Good to see Sheva get a goal though.

Now to Blackburn and back on course I hope.

As usual there was the flurry of emails in response to the grinning eejit's missive.

It started this way ......

DON´T YOU JUST LOVE COMING UP NORTH......

PLEASE CAN WE PLAY YOU EVERY WEEK......

STILL LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE....

YOUVÉ ONLY GOT TO PLAY US ONCE MORE.....

AYE ITS AN EASY 6 POINTS EVERY YEAR......

COME ON SOUTHGATES RED AND WHITE ARMY......


BYE BOYS......

To which Steve rightly pointed out....

Typical farkin Boro, only ever hear from you when you win. That would also explain why I never hear from you !

PS Did you go ?. Thought not, I got back in the house @ 4.30am and back to work @ 08.30 (Dedication son)

Enjoy your little moment now, and I'll enjoy our big moment in May !

and Mark said...

And who was it that lost to Reading last week ? ....Reading ?

and I said....

OK OK - we have to give everyone else hope and well done, but after losing to Reading, is your team any better off than us?

Jose was honest enough to say that the Smogmonsters played with more passion than the Blues and let them off the hook, but I suspect your return to the Bridge will be a different kettle of fish, by which time you will be wriggling your way out of the depths of relegation like a bottom dweller and we will be back on top.

p.s. Southgate better get that hair cut or he'll get an Essien!

Speaking of haircuts........

Abel Xavier (Back from drugs ban) samples the Riverside reek!

Just for fun

create your own visited countries map

Nobody was injured!

Just go to this link and make up your own byline!

Hair Raising

After a suitable respite for my poor ickle bruvver (what with him being a Sky Blue supporter) I have to comment on Chelsea's opening match of the season........A STROLL IN THE PARK.

I particularly enjoyed Michael Essien's novel way of assisting Corradi to his feet. Now for revenge against the grinning eejit's mob!

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Best Police Blog.....EVER!

I must thank PC Copperfield, in his outstanding Policeman's Blog for finding
this doozie of a blog and making me chortle this early in the morning on a day off!

As an example, here is a daily incident report regarding a RTC (which is a vehicle accident to you mops) :


A case of Fatal Road accident has been registered in Vittla Police Station. On 10/08/2006 at 1800 hrs one Chethan driver of Bus bearing Reg. No. KA-19-AC-4313 drove his vehicle in a rash and negligent manner and dashed to a motorcycle bearing Reg. No. KA-19-U-4164 driven by one Imthiyaz. As a result pillion rider Suprith (20) sustained serious injuries and died on the spot. Another pillion rider Jesnaru D’souza (17) R/o Chandalike Vittal village Bantwal Taluk sustained simple injuries. Motorcycle rider Imthiyaz did not sustain any injuries.

Read it again..... like me, does that make 3 on the bike?

There's much, much, more ..... from this Sooper in Mangalore!

Dumfoonert

There I was at the beginning of the week watching the Beeb's new reality series ' Trawlermen' when I was fair scunnered at the sudden appearance of subtitles fan a'bidy wis spikkin Doric. I turned to her who must be obeyed and said, "Fit aboot subtitles for yon EastEnders an'a."

It seems that I was not alone in my thoughts that the Beeb were being just a tad patronising, as a few days later this appeared on the Beeb's own website.

Rather than subtitles, hows about folk get to know local dialects such as the Doric, which is spoken about the Broch and obviously in the Bloo Toon.

I also wondered why the crewmen who are obviously nae Blootooners and speak in regional accents as well, were not subtitled.

Losh Bihere!